Narcissism: The Latest Manifestation

Blarg. I've come down a bit from my high of the past few days. I'm going to blame school. It's such a giant vacuum. I put time in, and get nothing out. What's up with that?

Then again, I suppose school is what I make it. I have to come up with a skillful way of working in what I want to do without being rude to the teacher that's "teaching" me. Maybe if I only had ears to hear. Sigh.

I don't know if college will be much different. I suppose there'll be more "me" time in the school environment, but still plenty of classes I won't "like." Huzzah.

Bringing me to a topic that's been bothering me a lot lately: narcissism. This isn't anything new. I've posted on this before. Just type in narcissism in the blog search tool, and I'm sure you'll come up with at least one or two posts about it. It's just that now, the narcissism has taken a different form that I've never noticed before.

I don't know if my attention to myself is normal. I seem to have this weird quirk where if there's a mirror present, I just "have" (more that I do it out of habit, though) to look in it. I feel like such an asshole, like Narcissus of mythology. It's not even like I'm looking for anything, just the familiar face. I'm not observing my phsyique (laughs), how I look at the moment, or anything like that. It's more like I'm looking at my "essence."

Anyway, I don't know why I do it. The same thing with visualization. Why do I insist on visualizing from the third person? I realize that the majority of my life involves seeing people from that perspective, but still, why? Por qua?

Well, at least this rambling has gotten a little less hutzpah'd and philosophical. It spices things up. Now it's just narcissistic. Oh, the irony.

Namaste.

PS - And the fact that I even wrote this blog is just further proof of my narcissism. Quite a trap I've set for myself. :0