Meditation, Five Months Later

Well, unbeknownst to me, this is the five month anniversary of my beginning of a formal meditation practice. Not quite as fancy as a six month anniversary, or a one year anniversary, but I figure I'd discuss my situation with my mistress, Meditation, anyway, right here and now.

When I started meditating November 13th, 2005, I couldn't sit for anything more than ten minutes. In fact, I had to start out at five minutes just to get through a session. My mind would do somersaults through the noosphere, my body would bitch about every ache and pain, and my soul, well, just didn't seem to be there. Just getting myself to actually sit, just the initial sitting, was more often than not a trial all by itself.

Over time, though, I found myself loosening up. Suddenly, sitting down to meditate wasn't a chore, it was a pleasure! Starting around January of this year, I actually looked forward to meditation as a chance to take a breather. Now, my body still ached, my mind still did tricks, and my soul still seemed absent, but I could feel, for the first time, something similar to peace of mind while meditating. And I didn't have to battle to get myself to sit. Now, I was only sitting for ten minutes or so in plain old samatha meditation (for all you non-Buddhists, that's the kind where you just count your breaths and try to keep your mind clear). Nothing profound, no enlightenment. Still, I felt progress.

Here, today, after five months, I find sitting more and more effortless. Now, I don't mean that my minds clear when I meditate. I don't mean that thoughts don't constantly arise, sit, and then leave. All I mean is that the egoic impulse to get up and do something has passed. I've finally reached the point where I can sit, and pain, thoughts, etc. don't push me away from sitting. From being.

The longest I've ever sat has been twenty minutes or so. I might go for a marathon session of an hour sometime this week, just in celebration!

Now, time to LIVE! Remember the two truths! 'Cause being lopsided = Not Cool! The Middle Way, indeed.

Namaste.

PS - Anyone who thinks that meditating is no big feat, I suggest you try it. Just sit for 10 minutes. In your chair, lying down, anything. The "sit" part isn't so important. It's your mind. If you can sit for ten minutes without going off to chase thought after thought, then I bow to you. You are far superiour to me.