Crazy Fundies

I was sitting in the car yesterday, looking at all the billboards lining the highway when I saw that one I hate. You know, the one with the Star of David on it that has the quote from the Bible, something to the effect of, "Those who support Israel will prosper." You know, the one by the Solid Rock Baptist Church. I hate that sign. But that's not what this post is about.

The sign has the web address of that church. So, I decided to go to SolidRockBaptist.org and check it out. I was scrolling through the site, expecting to be disappointed when I came accross the Way To Heaven page. 'This should be interesting,' I thought as I clicked on the link. What pops up? Something that looks like an infomercial, but for my soul. Needless to say, I was a bit suprised to find out that "[o]ur loving God is holy and just, so He must punish sin." What, this holy dude has to punish my sins? Then I found out that "Jesus is the only way to Heaven." Oh, okay, that's cool. How do I get to Jesus, then?

It turns out all I have to do is sign a contract stating, "Dear Heavenly Father, I know I am a sinner. I am sorry for my sin. Please forgive me. I believe the Lord Jesus died on the cross for me. Right now, I trust Jesus 100% to be my Saviour and to take me to heaven when I die. I now accept your free gift of eternal life. Thank you for loving me and forgiving me. Thank you for saving me. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen." That's all? Wow, and I thought I'd have to like, do stuff? Sign here? I'm there.

Actually, I wouldn't be caught dead (bad pun, I know) in any sort of "heaven" with people like that. Blech.

It's funny how we make fun of "extremist" Muslims who think they'll go to a heaven with 70 virgins for being matyrs when something like 70% of Americans think they can get into heaven just by signing a contract with Yahweh, or, I mean, God, er, I mean, Jesus Christ. Man, there's just too many names for that Christian God!

That said, note that I do greatly appreciate Christianity, and not just because I was raised Catholic for 17 years. Jesus seems like a real cool dude, and some of the saints seem like they kicked ass. But the crazy fundies have most certainly taken "The Way" and covered it in feces. Smelly, smelly feces.

God Bless America.

God, please save America from "your" followers.

PS - Man, I'm on a roll tonight. It must be that time of the month. If I offended anyone, sorry. My "PC" filter doesn't seem to be functioning. I suppose I should stop posting before I thoroughly shove my foot into my mouth.