Fight Club: The Movie

Just finished watching the movie Fight Club. Well, I was going to write a rave review after about the first hour, but the second half kind of dimmed my perception of the movie. The first half amazed me with its ability to talk about materialism, inauthenticity, and fear. The second half, with the addition of a disappointing plot twist, made a typical turn into suspense movie mode. The movie is still great. It's just, it's not quite the "Wake Up" Manifesto I thought it was.

If you've never seen Fight Club, you should definitely check it out, if just for it's great wake up call to members of modern society. In short, the movie tells you to wake up, stop pretending like tomorrow will be better than today, and start to live the life you really want.

Amen.

Now I'll have to check out the book. And be very, very happy. Because the movie is always better than the book.

The "normal" family is, after all, the source of what the Devil enjoys most: anxiety, mental illness, violence, evil thoughts, fear, and unrest.

-- Wakefield by Andrei Codrescu

God is Dead? Well, Maybe Your God!

I came across this interesting video clip from The Colbert Report. It's a discussion between Sam Harris, author of The End of Faith, and Mr. Colbert, the king of O'Reilly impersonators. Although The Colbert Report airs on Comedy Central, I'm suprised by the authenticity it often displays.

This one segment is an example of that authenticity. In this clip, Harris trys (in vain) to explain to Colbert (who plays the part of a fundamentalist Christian) why one can't possibly believe in a mythic (read most forms of) religion. Harris presents the typical rationalist / scientific argument against God, which Colbert refutes with 90 parts whit and 10 parts fanaticism.

Now, just a mild disclaimer about my beliefs. Though some may peg me as an "atheist" because I don't believe in a mythic, anthropomorphic "old man with a white beard" god, I do very much belief in a "higher power." I also believe that science goes way to far trying to explain (or explain away) things it can't quite handle. On that note, I do know the god I believe in is definitely not the "god" Colbert defends.

Enjoy the video.

Namaste.

Ken Wilber Lives!

For anyone that follows this blog and has any interest in Ken Wilber (he's the guy I talk about, well, at least once a month and the man I owe the majority of my life / world philosophy to), he has launched the new version of his website here. I highly recommend reading his works (if only as a form of mental calisthentics), maybe starting with A Theory of Everything and going from there. In the meantime, check out his blog (under the "Personal" section), dog.

Namaste.

Patience waits, and waits quietly. It is, regardless of its
appearances to the contrary, a dynamic waiting, pulsing
with vitality. As such, it is closely akin to prayer. Patience
is the climate of deep prayer. Instead of requesting this
or that, patience quietly — that is, without any fanfare —
aligns itself with its Source. Whatever it does, and it may
do nothing at all, is done in the spirit of “Thy Will be
done.”

This is not submission, but surrender, a sacred opening
and grounding, an expansion rather than a collapse of
boundaries, a yes that makes wise use of every no. Patience
waits until every last trace of waiting disappears.
Let patience take your hand. Let patience cradle your weary
mind. Give patience your suffering — all you need give in
return is the time that you already have.

The best time — and the only time — for patience is now.

-- Robert Augustus Masters

This is a nice antidote to the impatience that I've been feeling over the past few weeks. I just feel as if something needs to been done in every possible area of doing. However, I must realize the inherent perfection in every single moment.

Om.

:)

An Humorous Overview of My Model UN Notes

I have a copious amount of notes from my committee at Model UN from today (mainly to keep me entertained). Some of them are amusing (to me at least). Some general information before the fun. My committee was titled "Access to Medication." My country was Namibia (so that's where Namibia is!).

Now I'm going to list some of my thoughts at Model UN as well as an brief explanation (when necessary).

"Intellectual Property" - WTF is that? (This was after one of the countries, Belgium probably, mentioned that we have to keep patents protected on drugs NO MATTER WHAT, even at the unnecessary cost of human lives, citing the necessity to protect intellectual property.)

This depends on the citizens of the world giving a flying fuck (I don't really know where that one came from. I think it had to do with when Belgium asked other countries to offer aid to developing countries.)

US always bitches about having to do things. VICTIM COMPLEX. (This was after the US delegate complained that the US was unprepared to offer more aid unless others offered it too.)

How to solve the majority of the worlds PHYSICAL problems? Make everyone rich! (My, well, it's more of a general free market idea, genius idea of how to solve the worlds problems.)

Model UN = Joke. It's all just talk. Talk, talk, talk. (After realizing how useless all this talking is, whether because we're modelling an actual situation that needs mending or because the real UN won't ever act on this.)

People actually take this SHIT seriously - talking doesn't solve SHIT. (A further realization after the Chair pretended like what we were doing had any sort of significance.)

UK is trying to bitch slap the US. Oh shit!! (I don't know what happened here, but I apparently found it worthy of writing down.)

Peace + Peacefulness = Fluffy-duffy poo poo. (One of my personal favorites. I wrote this gem after the Chair claimed the goal of the UN is to promote peace through parliamentary procedure. Jesus Chirst, get something done if you have to throw a chair to do it!)

Fun stuff. Just thought I'd share.

Insomnia Wins the Day Again!

Well, it's almost 2 in the morning and I'm still awake. Yippie for school being in another 5 hours. Who knew?

This is a new kind of insomnia though. It's weird, because I feel so incredibly free and full of energy. It would be nice if I felt like this during the daylight hours. You know, when the rest of the world is awake.

In the meantime, let's see what other useful things I can get done.

Weird Mention: Typing seems really really weird now that I'm aware that I'm doing it. This whole reading about Dvorak has made my typing world go upside down. It's like, I am typing just like I used to, but now I'm painfully aware of it all. Weird.

Namaste.

Oh, and ten bucks to the person that can figure out what that last quotation is really about. :)

Taking charge of our charge involves a no that makes possible a deeper yes. And in that yes exists a Joy beyond imagination, a Joy that is our birthright, pulsing in — and as — our very cells, welcoming all that we are.

-- Robert Augustus Masters

Dvorak? Dvorak Who?

In more random web-surfing (what do you know, procrastinating can bring up good things sometimes!), I came across a typing layout known as "Dvorak." Me, in my infinite weirdness, became very interested.

Here's the basic idea. The Qwerty style (the one on your keyboard now) was set up to be as inefficient as possible because back in the day, when typewriters could jam up, some guy named Charles Sholes figured out the WORST way to layout a keyboard. This little anachronism has stayed with us until today. A good case of argumentum ad antiqitum.

So, these two other guys (Dr. August Dvorak and William Dealey) came along and came up with a better layout based on, what, science? Go figure. It's named Dvorak after the one creator.

Basically, it should make typing more efficient, less painful, and generally better.

And I, come this summer, will try it out. Just another 'different' thing to seperate me from the crowd. Oh well.

Namaste.

Lie in Our Graves by Dave Matthews' Band

When I step into the light my arms open wide
When I step into the light my eyes searching wild
Would you not like to be
Sitting on top of the world with your legs hanging free
Would you not like to be ok, ok, ok

When we’re walking by the water
Splish splash me and you taking a bath
When we’re walking by the water
Come to my toes to my ankles to my head to my soul
Then I’m blown away

When we’re walking by the water
Splish splash me and you taking a bath
When we’re walking by the water
Come to my toes to my ankles to my head to my soul
Then I’m blown away

I can’t believe that we would lie in graves
Wondering if we had spent our living days well
I can’t believe that we would lie in graves
Wondering what we might of been
I can’t believe that we would lie in graves
Wondering if we had spent our living days well
I can’t believe that we would lie in graves
Wondering what we might of been

Would you not like to be
Would you not like to be
I can’t believe that you would not like to be
Would you not like to be

Ok, ok, ok,
Ok, ok, ok,
Ok, ok, ok,
Ok, ok, ok,

Don’t dance away

PS - Where was this dude all my life?! I used to listen to him when at my friend Chris Spitz's house, but I didn't think much of him then. Now I see that Dave Matthews has more non-dual realization than all of today's music put together. A-freakin'-mazing. I love this guy!

Procrastination in Action

Well, I'm not really procrastinating. Just putting up a marker here before I actually get down to business with my English research paper (though calling it a research paper is really an insult to all research papers everywhere).

I just thought I'd share. And just because I'm interested, if you're reading this instead of doing the research paper, please leave a comment. (Obviously this doesn't include people not assigned the research paper. But hey, if you folks want to leave a comment too, go for it!)

Namaste.

The Anti-Poem

What a bunch of bullshit
We teenagers pass off as art
We pretend that our thoughts are
Complelely original but
Yet they're as old as time

Yes, this is an anti-poem,
Meant as an antidote to all the
Anti-Life statements we make
Throughout our anti-happiness
Days

Does that make me a hyprocrite
And this an artifice?
Can a poem possibly criticize itself,
While still legitimizing itself?

I don't know, but what I do know is
That the world needs more anti-poetry,
More hope, less despair
But most people just don't care.

Here's to anti-poetry
Hope
Responsibility

Experiencing the Non-duality of This Moment -- Or -- Why I'm Feeling Good

Well, this weekend looks to be filled with nothing more than work, work, and more work. The worst part about it is that it's not the sort of work that I "want" to do, but I "have" to do. And I just got up at 12 today, blowing away a good 4 hours of my day. :)

However, the postmodern concept of contexts may help me out in this situation¹. I realize that all man-made rules are just that, man-made. Yes, they are just as real as physical laws (if you break them, you will get burned), but at the same time they are different (if you break them, you'll only get burned on average, as opposed to 100% of the time). In fact, they exist at a "higher" level than physical laws (the subtle² dimension instead of the gross dimension). I think people sometimes forget that man-made laws are just that, MAN-made, and therefore aren't written in stone and don't necessarily apply to all situations. That is why I'll go through a red light when it just turns red if there's noone coming.

Acts of non-violent resistance can also follow this rule of contexts. As I see it, people too often forget that they are completely free to do whatever they want. The correlate of this is of course that other people (not yourself) are completely free to do whatever they want. Therefore, when you're in a situation where you don't want to do something (such as when you're on a bus and really don't want to go to a long ass jazz band competition), you can always simply not act. Then there is nothing the "authority" figure can do to force you to do what they want. They can "punish" you, but that's just more context bound human-created ideas. Not natural punishments. And they can physically try to remove you, but in situation like that, their own context of law and order will inhibit them because the protestors are doing nothing "wrong" by their law.

The point of this being if I have work to do, even work I don't "want" to do, the only reason I'm doing the work is because I choose to do it. Why? Because I don't have to do anything. Not even eat, drink, or live. Everything in life is a choice. Remember that.

Namaste

PS - Keep in mind I'm not suggesting challenging authority just because the social institution exists. Law and order has it's place in society when it helps to create a general, positive consensus. However, at times, laws become outdated and need to be challenged, simply so that the authority figures can reconsider them. You know, like laws about flip-flops in schools. :)

¹ It should be noted that I don't really know the movement of postmoderism all that well. I would love to, but I'm unable to find any good books on the topic, and that's how I learn best. Sigh.

² Though the idea of a "subtle dimension" (SD) sounds real fluffy duffy, it's grounded well in reality. For example, the SD is where most of math exists. Take the Pythagorean Theorem. Though it "exists," it has no physical meaning. Yes, you can apply it to the gross realm (for example, you can find pythagorean triples in the physical world), but the theorem itself has no physical existence. So the SD is the noosphere, or the place where all human "ideas" exist.

College: Why the Assumption?

I haven't posted anything recently, and I've been suffering a lot from it. I've let my life follow the current of time instead of pulling it out and taking a breather.

And now I realize I don't have time to put anything up. So, here's my question. Why is it assumed that we have to go to college? I realize that in a time made up of "information" jobs, it's important to know things, but do we need college.

Blah, I wish I had more time.

Oh well.

Namaste.

Typical Situation by Dave Matthews Band

Ten fingers counting we have each¡­ nine planets
Around the sun repeat
Eight ball the last if you triumphant be ¡­seven oceans - pummel
The shores of the sea

It’s a typical situation in these typical times
Too many choices, hey yeah
It’s a typical situation in these typical times
Too many choices ¡®ell¡­

Everybody’s happy everybody’s free
Keep the big door open, everyone’ll come around
Why’re you different, why are you that way
If you don’t get in line we’ll lock you away

It all comes down to nothing
Six senses feeling five around a sense of self
Four season turn on ¡®n turn off
I can see three corners from this corner
Two’s a perfect number
But one, well¡­

Everybody’s happy everybody’s free
We’ll keep the big door open, everyone’ll come around
Why are you different, why you that way
If you don’t get in line we’ll lock you away,
Aow everybody’s happy everybody’s free
We’ll keep the big door open, everyone’ll come around
Why are you different, why are you that way
If you don’t get in line we’ll lock you away

It all comes down to nothing

It’s a typical situation in these typical times
Too many choices, hey yaa
It’s a typical situation in these typical times
Too many choices

We can’t do a thing about it
Too many choices, hey yaa
It’s a typical situation in these typical times
Too many choices ¡­yeah

Everybody’s happy everybody’s free
We’ll keep the big door open, everyone’ll come around
Why are you different, why you that way
If you don’t get in line we’ll lock you away,
Aow everybody’s happy everybody’s free
We’ll keep the big door open, everyone’ll come around
Why are you different, why are you that way
If you don’t get in line we’ll lock you away¡­

It all comes down to nothing

It all comes down to nothing

It all comes ¡­aaw everybody’s happy everybody’s free
We’ll keep the big door open, everyone’ll come around
Why are you different, why you that way
If you don’t get in line we’ll lock you away

It all comes down to nothing

It’s a typical situation in these typical times
Too many choices, hey yeah
It’s a typical situation in these typical times
Too many choices

We can’t do a thing about it
Too many choices, hey yeah
It’s a typical situation in these typical times
Too many choices

Narcissism: The Latest Manifestation

Blarg. I've come down a bit from my high of the past few days. I'm going to blame school. It's such a giant vacuum. I put time in, and get nothing out. What's up with that?

Then again, I suppose school is what I make it. I have to come up with a skillful way of working in what I want to do without being rude to the teacher that's "teaching" me. Maybe if I only had ears to hear. Sigh.

I don't know if college will be much different. I suppose there'll be more "me" time in the school environment, but still plenty of classes I won't "like." Huzzah.

Bringing me to a topic that's been bothering me a lot lately: narcissism. This isn't anything new. I've posted on this before. Just type in narcissism in the blog search tool, and I'm sure you'll come up with at least one or two posts about it. It's just that now, the narcissism has taken a different form that I've never noticed before.

I don't know if my attention to myself is normal. I seem to have this weird quirk where if there's a mirror present, I just "have" (more that I do it out of habit, though) to look in it. I feel like such an asshole, like Narcissus of mythology. It's not even like I'm looking for anything, just the familiar face. I'm not observing my phsyique (laughs), how I look at the moment, or anything like that. It's more like I'm looking at my "essence."

Anyway, I don't know why I do it. The same thing with visualization. Why do I insist on visualizing from the third person? I realize that the majority of my life involves seeing people from that perspective, but still, why? Por qua?

Well, at least this rambling has gotten a little less hutzpah'd and philosophical. It spices things up. Now it's just narcissistic. Oh, the irony.

Namaste.

PS - And the fact that I even wrote this blog is just further proof of my narcissism. Quite a trap I've set for myself. :0

Beautiful Commandments

Anyway, or The Paradoxical Commandments
By Kent M. Keith

1. People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

2. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

3. If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

4. The good you do will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

5. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

6. The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

7. People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

8. What you spent years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

9. People really need help but may attack you if you help them.
Help people anyway.

10. Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the best you've got anyway.

All there millions of words fit in a thimble and vanished in the night.

-- Wakefield by Andrei Codrescu

3-2-1 and Self-Visualization

I want to get this out on the blogosphere just as some sort of seed. I really would like to expand upon this later, but for now I think sleep, and my sanity, might be more important.

Anyway, let me start out by explaining a general outline of what the 3-2-1 Process is. This is something devised (as far as I know) by people working at the Integral Institute. The general idea is to take something from the third person, to the second person, and finally bring it to the first person. For example, if you're feeling anger, you would first objectify it, then speak to it, then finally become it. It's a very interesting process. I have only just begun to dabble with it.

In general, the 3-2-1 process is used for dealing with shadows (those elements of ourselves that we do not (want to) recognize). But I recently had an interesting idea about how to use this process as a way to grow via visualization. As you all know, I've made "you have to see it to be it" my new mantra of the moment. However, I noticed something when I tried to "3-2-1" this process. As I try to shift through the different perspectives, I find myself easily doing third person (ie I can see myself), easily doing second person (ie I can talk to myself), but I have a very hard time doing first person (ie I can't be in myself).

I was just curious as to how other people visualize themselves when they remember / imagine situations. Do you see yourself in the first person or the third person? I am very interested to find out if my proclivity towards seeing myself from the third person is the norm or not. Please leave a response if you feel so inclined.

Once again, I want to get more in depth in this, but for now, I'm going to read biology and then go to bed.

Thank you.

Namaste.

When speaking of excellence, most people assume one
is speaking of "greatness."

In reality, one can be excellent and never achieve what
the world may define as greatness. Excellence is not
an award or a title bestowed on you. Excellence is a
mindset that says "I will demand growth, but release
perfection."

In many ways, excellence is the opposite of perfection.
Perfection does not exist. Excellence does.

Strive for excellence by striving for growth. Growth will
usually bring its fair share of bumps and bruises, as
you grow from falling as much as you do from climbing.
Sometimes you grow more from falling!

Excellence is also a mindset. It is an attitude that cries
out "I will not settle for a life partially lived."

No one who lives life fully can be considered anything
but excellent. For the Scaler, a full life is defined as one
lived supported and committed to Core Values rather
than tossed about by illusions of truth.

-- Scale the World

Awareness, Time, and Break

Over the past few days, I've been assaulted by a definite sense of impermanence, of the fluidity of time. I don't know how anyone else feels, but I feel like life is going by way too fast, there are way too many things to get done, and I just don't have the ability to do them all.

I think a lot of this acute awareness of time has come about because of time management work I've been doing over break. I spent about half a day (in total, not all at once) over break rehashing how, when, and why I spend my time. I must say, it's made me much more relaxed and confident in my ability to get done what I want to get done. At the same time, when I look at a list of all the things I want to get done and see the measely dent make each day, I get scared. Ignorance is bliss. Yeah, but it's still ignorance.

This new realization that time is rushing by faster than I can deal with might have to do with many things. It might have to do with the fact that Spring Break, a whole week, went by in the blink of an eye. It might have to do with the fact that Science Olympiad is coming up in TWO weeks, or that AP tests are in three. Heck, it might even have to do with the fact that we'll be graduating in about sixty days. Yeah, it probably has to do with all of those things.

It might also have to do with my fear of change, of challenge, of facing the new and unknown; with my small self screaming and wailing that it doesn't want to get out of this comfortable home known as Chichester that I've lived in for eighteen years; with the fact that the only constant in the universe is, ironically, change.

Yeah, it might have to do with all of those things.

It's strange how when you start to pay attention to something, when you truly give it your full awareness, it seems to get worse right away. Take mindfulness meditation for example. The second you start to pay attention to your thoughts, it suddenly seems as if you have one hundred times more thoughts than you've ever had in your life. Really, though, those thoughts were there the entire time, they just don't become noticeable until you hold them in your awareness. Same thing with time: the time has been passing just as quickly, it's simply that with my new focus, the current appears quicker.

No matter the scenario or cause, the fact still remains that seven days have passed.

Memento mori. Remember that we all die.

Namaste.

Shadow Boxing - Part Two - Seeing is Imagining is Believing

Time for the second installment of the shadow boxing post. And you thought I'd forgotten about it! :)

Today, I'm going to talk about the concept of belief, perception, and why it's so gosh darn hard for me to be social with strangers. Let me start off by saying that this post idea was more or less spawned by the recieval of the Pennsylvania Governor's School for the Sciences (PGSS) DVD (finally).

While watching that video today, I saw all my fellow govies galavanting around, having what I know to be a really great time. The funny thing is, still, now, after all the supposed "growth" I've gone through over the past year, I still don't see myself being able to meet and enjoy the company of those people. I still don't see myself capable of (now) going to governor's school and doing anything differently.

I've hit the nail on the head. I had a sudden inspiration, perhaps partially sparked by Steve Pavlina's post on negative thought patterns, that if I can't "see" myself doing something, I most likely won't do it. In this context, I'm using the words "see" to mean visualize / imagine / fantasize. Pick whichever word you want, or just think of it as "seeing" in the minds eye. Simply, if all the thoughts I ever have involving social situation with strangers conjure up images of dejection, lonerism, and discomfort, I'm never going to be able to artfully deal with strangers. Ever.

To resolve the issue, then, in my example, I have to imagine what Governor's school (a specific) or life (a general) would be like if I didn't have this block towards meeting and talking with strangers (even if I don't want to become their life long friend). I have to visualize myself having fun in those situations, actively going out to meet new people and taking advantage of time in new and different groups. Simply, I have to imagine myself extroverted.

Some might say this is getting way too new agey, self-helpey, and dopey. I claim it's a psychological principle. I don't have the science to back it up (right now), but I have a feeling that if I digged just a little, I could come up with a reasoning. For now, until the digging commences (because I honestly don't think you need to know why something works in order to understand how to use it), I'll assume it has to do with the RAS. I imagine this also has to do with why affirmations work.

The general procedure, then, If you find yourself with a self-defeating pattern, is to examine the pattern, and then try to imagine the opposite. If you think that you'll never be able to get in shape, don't avoid thinking about being in shape until you actually get there, or until you figure out a way to get there. Start to think of how it must feel NOW to be in shape. I'm not advocating pure positive thinking. I'm just advocating smart thinking.

Now, go and seek out that shadow that you've always assumed was "just the way it is," think of it's opposite, and start trucking!

Until next time, namaste.

PS - Wow, it's funny how big a disconnect there can be between ones thinking and ones actions. I totally "get" this idea, and I know the sort of power it could have to positively influence my life, and yet I rarely find myself acting on this information. Admittedly, my understanding this information at a cognitive level is relatively new, so maybe I should give myself more time. Then I'll be sure to walk my talk.

And besides, shouldn't I be paying attention to my own message and start thinking about what life would be like if I consistenly applied this method?!

Oops...

I realize now that I have yet to put up the answers to those questions from yesterday. Oopsies. :) Here they are now.

Densa Quiz

Do they have a 4th of July in England?
Yes

How many birthdays does the average man have?
one

Some months have 31 days; how many have 28?
twelve

How many outs are there in an inning?
six

Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister?
no

Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer?
70

If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have?
two

A doctor gives you three pills, tells you to take one every half hour. How many minutes would the pills take?
60 minutes

A farmer has 17 sheep, and all but 9 die. How many are left?
nine

How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the Ark?
None

A clerk in the butcher shop is 5'10" tall. What does he weigh?
meat

How many two cent stamps are there in a dozen?
twelve

Densa Quiz

Here's a fun quiz I found after doing some Spring Cleaning. It's from Mr. Carter's social studies class. Here's a hint. These are trick questions. :)

See how you do, and I'll post the right answers at 9 tonight.

Namaste.

Densa Quiz

Do they have a 4th of July in England?

How many birthdays does the average man have?

Some months have 31 days; how many have 28?

How many outs are there in an inning?

Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister?

Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer?

If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have?

A doctor gives you three pills, tells you to take one every half hour. How many minutes would the pills take?

A farmer has 17 sheep, and all but 9 die. How many are left?

How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the Ark?

A clerk in the butcher shop is 5'10" tall. What does he weigh?

How many two cent stamps are there in a dozen?

Luck and Life

Reader's Digest: Luck greatly affects your life. In fact, luck had a hand in everything you believe happened sheerly out of your will. In life, it's best to just have a goal in mind, and then work towards that goal, instead of having a detailed plan. Actions are repaid, on average, and the best way to have better luck is to do more things and to be positive.

Over the past week, I've become fascinated by the idea of luck and it's influence on our lifes and our influence on it. This topic first surfaced for me while reading Scott Adams' "Success Formula" for business, though the formula could just as easily be for life. You can read for yourself his opinions on this, and I'll return to my story with his suggested reading of the book The Luck Factor by Doctor Richard Wiseman (how great a name is that! :) ). I purchased this book on a hunch (something just felt "right" about it) and it came this Monday. While reading through it, I'm struck by the sheer magnitude of the affect "luck" (or if you'd prefer, positive random chance) has on our lives. Now, The Luck Factor offers ways to "improve your luck" and I'll get into those a little later, but first an exercise.

Think, on a scale of one to ten, about how luck has affected your life, with one being not at all and ten being a lot. Write that number down, if you so please. Now, think about the following questions:

• How did luck affect how you met your partner?
• How did luck affect how you came to know your closest friend?
• How did luck affect the main factors that have influenced your choice of career?
• How did luck affect a major event that had a positive influence on your life?

After thinking about those questions, did your "luck effect" number change? I know that mine did. After thinking about these questions for a while, and other questions that I myself came up with, I was amazed at how much what I thought was conscious effort on my part to shape my life in fact involved luck. In fact, I can attribute the fact that I'm even thinking about this post to the random event that I came across Scott Adams' blog a few months ago. Without that, I would have never picked up The Luck Factor, would have never gotten this in depth into the idea of luck, and wouldn't have made this post. Damn.

Obviously, luck, or once again, random chance, pushes out in all directions, both past and future. As the Steve Jobs said, "you can only connect [the dots] going backwards." At the same time, you can only pick a general direction going forward. Everything else, it would seem, involves luck.

If luck is such a strong influence in our lives, what's a poor schmuck to do? This is where Scott Adams' poses some very interesting ideas in his book God's Debris (which, if you forgot, you can download for free. It's really worth the read!). In the book, the protagonist, a young, intelligent mail carrier, meets a wise old man and begins to discuss just about everything under the sun. However, one of the more interesting ideas they discuss is that everything in life has to do with probabilities. Basically, the old man takes a quantum-esque stance and says that life is all just a bunch of probability waves and that free-will is a joke. For example, he says when you go into your car, either you fasten your seatbelt or you don't. If you do, you improve your probability of surviving the trip. If you don't, you reduce the probability. There is no way to be certain whether or not you'll survive the trip, because it's only on average that people who wear seatbelts survive more than people who don't.

In other words, the old man is proposing a more complex version of karma. Yes, your actions do have consequences, but it's only on average that the good get rewarded and the bad get punished. Don't expect helping that little old lady to lead you to a pot of gold. Only on average.

Truly brilliant stuff. Dr. Wiseman offers some suggestions about influencing luck in his book, most of which I probably shouldn't share with you so you actually go out and buy the book. The first one, which I will share, is so simple, it hurts. Extroverted people tend to have more luck. This makes sense, because the more people you meet, the more likely you are to meet people that will positively influence your life. Such a simple idea that is so easy to apply to life.

And a more general version of that truth, the more things you do, the better chance you have of coming up "lucky." It's all in the positive outlook. Attitude is everything.

Namaste.

Intuition, The Sub-Conscious, and Truly KNOWING

Reader's Digest Version: The main message of this post may be summed up succintly as this: the subconscious mind has a compendium of knowledge that it only shares the smallest bits of with the concsious mind. Therefore, whenever you have an "aha!" experience, that's just a signal from your subconsious mind that it knows something, but your conscious mind still has to unpack that information into bite-sized, conscious mind edible bits in order to understand it. To do this, you must consciously think about your aha! thought. The rest of this post is more or less my personal journey towards finding this out. So, I've offered you the reader's digest version in case you don't feel like trudging through my verbosity. I think I might do this more often. :)

I had a minor breakthrough yesterday while doing some hardcore thinking. I was listening to Steve Pavlina's podcast on intuition, and wondering about what he was saying about the subconscious and conscious mind. First thing first, though. I don't have a degree in psychology, I don't really have all that much of a background in the conscious and subconscious mind, and to be honest, I don't really care all that much about the science behind what I'm going to write about. This all just intuitively makes sense to me, and it helps me to unpack many of the concepts that previously caused me trouble.

Back to the story. Steve talks about how the unconscious mind is the repository for just about everything that you ever learn or experience. Basically, the conscious mind can only take in a very small sliver of what you're currently aware of without totally overwhelming you. Everything else goes to the subconscious mind for storage and, possibly later, recall. Therefore, although your conscious mind runs the show, you're subconscious mind is really the giant library in your mind that has all the pertinent information.

As an example of the difference between your conscious and subconscious minds, try and think of as many memories as you can right now consciously. How many did you come up with? Ten? Twenty? Now think about how during the day, some random scent, or word, or image can bring up a memory from when you were seven or eight that you would have never thought of consciously. That memory is not in your conscious mind, it's in your subconscious. Cool stuff.

While listening to all this discussion of the difference between the conscious and subconscious mind, a thought popped into my head (that's been happening a lot lately. I think it has to do with all the clearing out of psychic junk I've been doing with GTD and meditation), a thought to the affect of "so that's why whenever I have a thought, I assume I know it's meaning." For that to make sense, I'm going to have to give you even more of a backstory. Here we go.

For the past month or so, I've been wrestling with the concept that after I have a thought, I don't really need to do anything about it because, after all, I've already had the thought. That must mean I understand it completely. I realized that this can't be true, because I've had plenty of good thoughts, and very rarely have they manifested into anything of value to me or others. I couldn't quite figure this paradox out. How do I have a thought, but yet that thought, though seemingly fully formed, isn't of any use to me?

And the thought from yesterday happened. So that is it! Basically, I figured out that all these "aha!" moments I've been having, all these great ideas that pop into my head, are fully formed, but only in my subconscious. Basically, to add intuition to the mix, I intuitively know the things that I'm thinking. Yet I still have to "unpack" the thought into my conscious mind if I'm going to understand and utilize the thought. For example, I had the thought yesterday after reading further in The Future and It's Enemies that it's always better to just jump in and do something and allow evolution (or basically trial and error) to come up with the "best" solution instead of trying to find it myself. The old me, from two days ago, would have chalked this thought up as done, moved on, and had more thoughts and assumed that this knowledge would be applicable to my life right away. However, I now realize that it's nothing of the sort. Rather, my subconscious (or intuition, whichever you prefer) has given my conscious mind a heads up that my subconscious has this really great idea it would like to share with me. It's only given me a nice little keyword, or keyphrase (that evolution is the best way to solve things), and it's up to me, the conscious mind to unpack this idea into a useful, applicable, manageable form.

I don't know how clear this idea is to anyone reading this, but the clarity it offers me is amazing. It's almost as if I've been running around with blinders on, and suddenly someone took them off and I can see in all directions. Well, maybe not quite that dramatic, but still pretty freakin' cool.

Now off to explore this coolness.

Namaste.

Turbo Meditation

So, I've taken a step down the rabbit hole (or maybe a corporate black hole) and requested demo meditation CDs from Centerpointe. I had a mini-struggle over this last night after I serendipitously came across Centerpointe's site after thinking about it for a good two days. My thoughts were something like, "Isn't using these CDs cheating my way into deeper levels of meditation? Plus, dude, it costs tons of money!" Then the risk/reward part of my mind kicked into gear and I thought, "What is there to lose from a free trial? And besides, I don't see you writing with rocks and sand, Mr. Luddite."

My gut feeling finally won the day. Who knows, maybe this will "safely and effortlessly take [me] to states of profoundly deep (and extremely pleasurable) meditation." As long as it doesn't screw my five months of unaided efforts. I'm always a little suspicious about things that promise "effortless" meditation.

Namaste.

Why the heck does Centerpointe have a sister site called Magical Mind Enterprises?! Interesting...

V for Very Very Good

By the title, I'm sure you can guess that I saw V for Vendetta tonight. If you haven't seen it, go out and see it. Or maybe wait to see it on DVD. Or download it on Limewire and watch it. Just see it, trust me.

I must say, I was amazed by the movie. As I commented to Dave while we were leaving, it made me feel like "having a revolution." Now that I've read even more on the backstory of V for Vendetta, the graphic novel, I'm even more impressed by both the message of V and the film adaption.

I realize that the Orwellian world of V isn't anywhere near what "real" life is like. V's message still stands clear. "People should not be afraid of their government. Governments should be afraid of their people." We, the people that make up our government, can stand to be reminded of that.

If you see the movie, try to find how many references you can find to the number five or the letter "v." You'll be pleasantly suprised!

World of a King by David Mead

So a man and a woman forked at a baby
The prince of dysfunction boy on a string
From a suburban palace he walked out to freedom
Enslaved to a concept in the world of a king

And baby's love he's smoking in a peacoat
A ship on the ocean bird on a wind
With a poem and soul written in his honor
There's a concrete assumption in the world of a king

A guitar and a girlfriend, just off the turnpike
Yeah, the foundtain of ego learned how to sing
But the truth shall engage him with heartbreak and cold cots
In an unguarded moment in the world of a king

And baby's gone, she's dancing on a big stage
With a tear and a tutu
The phone never rings
And he can't go on, he's banging on a keyboard
There's an E-mail to Jesus from the world of a king

I took a moment to remember a moonlit night
Conversation by the candlelight was free
Never trying to please yourself
Never happy with nobody else but me
So a man and a woman...

Meditation, Five Months Later

Well, unbeknownst to me, this is the five month anniversary of my beginning of a formal meditation practice. Not quite as fancy as a six month anniversary, or a one year anniversary, but I figure I'd discuss my situation with my mistress, Meditation, anyway, right here and now.

When I started meditating November 13th, 2005, I couldn't sit for anything more than ten minutes. In fact, I had to start out at five minutes just to get through a session. My mind would do somersaults through the noosphere, my body would bitch about every ache and pain, and my soul, well, just didn't seem to be there. Just getting myself to actually sit, just the initial sitting, was more often than not a trial all by itself.

Over time, though, I found myself loosening up. Suddenly, sitting down to meditate wasn't a chore, it was a pleasure! Starting around January of this year, I actually looked forward to meditation as a chance to take a breather. Now, my body still ached, my mind still did tricks, and my soul still seemed absent, but I could feel, for the first time, something similar to peace of mind while meditating. And I didn't have to battle to get myself to sit. Now, I was only sitting for ten minutes or so in plain old samatha meditation (for all you non-Buddhists, that's the kind where you just count your breaths and try to keep your mind clear). Nothing profound, no enlightenment. Still, I felt progress.

Here, today, after five months, I find sitting more and more effortless. Now, I don't mean that my minds clear when I meditate. I don't mean that thoughts don't constantly arise, sit, and then leave. All I mean is that the egoic impulse to get up and do something has passed. I've finally reached the point where I can sit, and pain, thoughts, etc. don't push me away from sitting. From being.

The longest I've ever sat has been twenty minutes or so. I might go for a marathon session of an hour sometime this week, just in celebration!

Now, time to LIVE! Remember the two truths! 'Cause being lopsided = Not Cool! The Middle Way, indeed.

Namaste.

PS - Anyone who thinks that meditating is no big feat, I suggest you try it. Just sit for 10 minutes. In your chair, lying down, anything. The "sit" part isn't so important. It's your mind. If you can sit for ten minutes without going off to chase thought after thought, then I bow to you. You are far superiour to me.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

-- Steve Jobs

Reticular Activating System - How to RAS Up Your Life

Last Friday, a friend mentioned something about, "Wow, ever since my mom bought [x], it's been popping up all over the place." I'm sure you've had this experience at least once or twice (if not hundreds of times) in your life. What's up with it? Is it just that suddenly everyone's decided to buy that one thing? Or is it something more?

It turns out there's a very simple neurological reason for it and it's called the Reticular Activating System, or RAS for short. It's the little part of your brain that controls what actually gets "on your mind."

Here's how it's described in Getting Things Done by David Allen:

Just like a computer, your brain has a search function - but it's even more phenomenal than your computer's. It seems to be programmed by what we focus on and, more importantly, what we identify with. It's the seat of what many people have referred to as the paradigms we maintain. We notice only what matches our internal belief systems and identified contexts. If you're an optometrist, for example, you'll tend to notice people wearing eyeglasses across a crowded room; if you're a building contractor, you may notice the room's physical deatils. If you foucs on the color red right now and then just glance around your environment, if there is any red at all, you'll see even the tiniest bits of it.

Amazing stuff. The RAS comes in handy with things like goals (if you can visualize something, you can make it happen by using the RAS like a homing missle) and preparation (that's why Olympic athletes visualize before they compete). Who knew that something so simple could be so useful? And why don't they teach us this sort of thing in school!?

Namaste.

ABC "Best of Class"

As some of you might now, I get to go to this 'Best Of Class' thing April 26th where all the valedictorians from all the schools in Delco get together and talk about their feelings while ABC catches it on tape. Well, something like that. Anyway, I got to fill out a questionairre, and since I found it rather interesting and thought provoking, and also because it would be a waste if the answers never saw the light of day again, I'm going to post it, along with my answers, here. Feel free to answer these questions on Think Bowl. Or just on your own. Or never.

Namaste.

1. What skills/talents made you ‘best of class’? Who has helped you along the way and how?

The only skill that gave me a slight edge over my fellow classmates is my ability to take in and process information efficiently and effectively. I'm definitely no more creative, intelligent, hard-working or inspired than others in my class, but it just so happens that one of my particular knacks meshes well with how our current educational system "ranks" students. So, along with the information processing skill, I'm just lucky.

My parents aided me the most in becoming 'best in class.' Without their mixture of strong guidance and intelligent freedom giving, I know for certain I wouldn't be the person I am today. Without them, I wouldn't have my genes, my personality, or my character. And, if I may say so myself, those are three of my best qualities.

2. What is the greatest obstacle you have faced in your life and how did you deal with it?

My greatest obstacle, and the one that am still working on overcoming, has been the strangle hold of mediocrity. In a country, and indeed a western culture, that gives lip service to superior effort while only rewarding quiet desperation, I've found myself time and again amazed at how quickly I put a cap on what I'm capable of, a cap that isn't even near high enough to really represent my potential. In the coming months and years, then, my greatest obstacle will be fighting this societal pull towards apathy and mediocrity and actually stepping up and being fully and authentically human.

3. What are your future plans? How would you fashion your life if you could NOT go to college?

I plan on attending Villanova for four years in order to obtain a degree in chemistry with a concentration in biochemistry. From there, I hope to go on into nanobiotechnology research regarding alternative means of energy production and conservation. I also hope to get involved in as many writing and non-profit causes as I possibly can.

If I were to go directly from highschool to the "real world," I would definitely go out west to Boulder, Colorado and get involved with the Integral Movement and the amazing people building Zaadz.com. These two organizations, Integral Institute, founded by Ken Wilber, and Zaadz, founded by Brian Johnson, seem to me to be only the very beginning of a surge in truly Aware (with a capital A) people trying make a positive difference in the world. To be a part of that right out of high school would be amazing.

4. How has your race or ethnic background influenced your life? Tell us your story …

Well, I'm pretty close to your average white guy, so my race hasn't really affected my path through life so much. My ethnicity is more or less non-existent, so that too has had very little affect on me. I guess, though, the "average" status of my race and ethnicity have affected me by allowing me to take the "average" path through life. Not a very interesting story though.

5. Talk about the influence of race, gender and economic class in America today.

Hm, I could pretend like I actually know enough to speak intelligently on this, but I don't. At the same time, I figure you want me to hazard an ill-advised crack at the issues, so I will.

Race definitely shouldn't be an issue, but unfortunately it is. Though more and more, I see the main issue being culture. I think (or at least I HOPE) that most people don't judge others by the color of their skin. However, I do think that a lot of people, myself included, still judge people by their culture, often from a position of ignorance and misunderstanding.

Gender has swung from one extreme (the housewife) to another (the feminist) over the past century and is only now coming back to a more moderate path. I feel that women and men should be able to do whatever they want, regardless of their gender. If that means a man being a housewife and a woman being a CEO, then that's perfectly fine. We've escaped, technologically, from our biological underpinnings, now it's time for us to escape socially.

Class, well, what's there to say about it. I'm living in the "middle" class, and I couldn't be happier. There are plenty of things I "want," but all of my needs, whether physical, biological, mental, or spiritual, are all met as I am now. At the same time, I realize that people all over the country can't say the same. It's a tragedy that in a country of so much affluence, so many people live without the basic necessities of life.

6. How does religion play a role in your life and in the world at large?

Religion is a tricky thing, isn't it? In this modern world, one might change ones religion as quickly as one changes ones shirt.

Personally, I started my life Catholic, and like most Catholics, quickly lost faith and tried on other religions for size. Over the two year span since I decided that just swallowing, without chewing, the religion of my youth was a bad idea, I've come to find that Buddhism is a much better fit for me. Not because it's "trendy" or the "hip" thing to do, just because it's path is so well laid out, so clearly trodden, and so accessible to anyone who wishes to take it.

In terms of religion in the world, I think it has its place. It never fails to amuse me when I see atheists fighting with evangelicals, both calling the other fundamentalists. Why? Because they're both so right and can't see it. Religion has it's place, but its surface features changes with the times and with the age of a person. Following a religion blindly leads to wars. Following religion with an open mind and heart leads to enlightenment.

7. Tell us about your favorite technological device. What websites do you use and why?

My favorite technological device would have to be my computer (or really, any of the numerous computers that I use throughout the day). I'm amazed by the near limitless amount of information I have access to in the simple click of a mouse or touch of a button. This sort of information access has NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND. At the same time, I have the ability to creatively utilize my talents in ways easier than ever before. All thanks to this little beige box on top of my desk.

My favorite websites may be seperated into three categories: news, personal development, and spiritual / community growth. In terms of the news, I go to Salon.com and Slate.com for a healthy dose of what's going on in the world from an open minded, progressive perspective. For personal growth, I regularly read Steve Pavlina's blog at StevePavlina.com in order to make sure I'm always growing as a human being. For spiritual and community growth, I check out Zaadz.com, billed as a social networking site for people who want to change the world, and Integralnaked.com, where I can go "behind the scenes with the most provocative thinkers in today's world."

8. How does text-ing and IM-ing influence how you communicate?

Text-ing, not at all. IM-ing has been a double edged sword. On the one hand, it's much easier to keep in touch with many friends all at once. On the other hand, it prevents from intimate, one-on-one contact with friends on a daily basis. Because of that, I try to keep IM-ing to a minimum and make actual, real world communication my social activity of choice.

9. What piece of advice would you give to underclassmen?

Don't take your view of reality as a given. Investigate your assumptions, test your beliefs, and find out where you actually stand. You may be very interested to find that you're standing on nothing, and that being there is exactly where you should be.

10. Which environmental issues concern you the most and why? (global warming,
oil dependence, endangered species, etc. etc.…..)

Not just oil dependence, but fossil fuel dependence, or as I like to call it, stored fuel dependence. Since the first human decided to rub two sticks together to make a fire, we haven't advanced at all in terms of how we get our energy. We still rely directly on the sun and energy stored, more often than not, millions of years ago. We've come a long way since that stick rubbing pre-historic breakthrough, it's time that we prove it.

And if we don't, we'll be in for a rude awakening when that "stored" energy runs out in the coming century and suddenly everything we took for granted isn't there anymore.

11. What do you know for sure about money and it’s importance in your life?

I know for certain that I don't know nearly enough about money. I've never had to manage my money, I've never had a job. I haven't ill-managed my money, but I haven't managed it well either. In the coming years, as I grow more and more independent, I'll also be forced to, or rather have the priviledge to, learn about money.

12. During the past year, we’ve seen natural disasters like Katrina, issues with the ongoing Iraqi war, the threat of terrorism, and a growing national debt … What concerns you most about these or other issues?

What concerns me the most about the world is apathy. The root of all the issues listed in this prompt and many others is people unwilling to take a long hard look at the world around them and actually take action to change what needs changing. Apathy, coupled with incompetence, makes for quite the deadly mixture, as can be seen in Iraq, Louisiana, and with our economy. But we shouldn't take take on the victim-mentality either, but rather rise above the apathy, all of us, and be and do the change we wish to see in the world.

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

-- Frank Herbert, Dune - Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear

Shadow Boxing: Round One - Relationships

Note: Yeah, after I finished writing, I've realized this post is really, really "me"-specific, so I don't know if anyone else will find it interesting. If you do, God bless. If you don't, that's understandable. All in all, it offers you a look into the inner working of David Darmon, and possible psychological tools you can use to unroot your own "shadows."

I've been putting off writing this post for far too long. Well, I've only had this exact idea for a little over three days, but the general concept has been floating around in my subconscious for well over the past three months.

First, a brief explanation. I'm going to start a "shadow boxing" series to examine the shadows hiding around in my psyche. The term "shadow boxing" is a play on words (because I'm ever so witty) meaning a battle with my "shadow." In psychology, or at least, in Jungian psychology, a shadow is "a part of the unconscious mind which is mysterious and often disagreeable to the conscious mind, but which is also relatively close to the conscious mind" (Wikipedia). In my terms, it's something about yourself that you've decided to repress and therefore your psyche projects that quality onto everything you see in order for YOU to see it in yourself. Convoluted and confusing? Sure. But apparently it's fo' real.

The shadow to be boxed in this segment is my relationship with, well, relationships. I don't mean the non-platonic kind, either. Just plain old platonic friendships, or really any type of link with people in general.

Where to start on this topic? God, I don't even know, so I guess I'll just start somewhere and see where that goes. How have I practiced the work of relationships for the past, well, my life? I like to put it this way: I've been a master in the art of introversion. That's a good way to explain my actions, because it doesn't limit me to "being an introvert" nor does it take the responsibility away from me as to my present predisposition. There it is, then, I've been "practicing the art of introversion."

Over the past few weeks or even months, I've come to realize that I'm relatively introverted for one reason and one reason only: my beliefs about life (of course, that can be said about just about any behavior, but for now, I'm going to limit this fact to the discussion of social interactions). Of course, anyone who knows me could immediately pick up on this. All my friends poke fun at the fact that I went to governor's school and made no friends because I "didn't think it was worth it." Truth be told, though, that was the reason I made no friends. I don't honestly think I could think of any other reason. It's not that I'm not capable of social interaction (I have plenty of friends in Chi that could speak for my average abilities in socializing) nor that I didn't have the oppurtunity (plenty of people made lasting friendships at Gov School). Rather, the simple fact that I felt that the effort to make friends outweighed the benefits of making friends can explain everything.

Now, this effort to benefit ratio is a perfectly fine way to plan my life, IF it's a real reflection of reality and my deeper desires about life. Obviously, I wouldn't be writing this if I thought it actually was. In fact, I know that I might have greatly enjoyed the friendships I might have made at Gov school. I also know that if I had allowed this belief to govern my actions while in Chi, I would have never made any of the truly amazing friendships I currently have. So, then, I can't just let the facts stand, I have to act on them.

The action is really rather simple, though the process may be convoluted and long. This whole issue comes down to a matter of proactivity versus reactivity. In most cases, the friendships I've made have been reactive: extroverted people have come along and taken me in, introduced me to new people, and in general guided the social current of my life. Fortunately for me, these people have good taste in friends, and I've ended up with quite the great collection. :)

Unfortunate, however, is the fact that college is just around the bend, and I'm about to enter a whole new arena with a whole different pool of people. If I should continue to allow this "rule" of mine to guide my decisions socially, I'll be allowing a subconscious, and more importantly, FALSE, belief guide my actions. Bad move all around. Proactivity, then, is the only conscious, fully human way to deal with realtionships in this new setting. So I'd better start now.

This post has already gone on way too long, though I do have many more things to say. The rest I'll probably just do privately, on my own, unless anyone really wants me to continue to "think out loud."

Here's to shadow boxing! Or just shining a light on those dark places so that all the cockroaches can run away because of taxis. No, not the yellow kind. :)

Namaste.

PS - I do appreciate everyone's efforts to make me stand by my word that I want to be more "extroverted." With time and some effort, I'll get there. Or die trying!

If you don't need a plan to manage your life, you're not pushing yourself.

-- Anonymous

Lazy Saturdays

Well, hasn't today been ever so UNproductive? I guess it being the first day of spring break, I shouldn't be too hard on myself. Besides, I have gotten some things done. Some.

Well, anyway, I should be posting a good deal over the next 7 days. With all the free time and whatnot, what else would I be doing? :)

I need to get my act together though. The last thing I want to see is for this next week to pass and me to realize I've done nothing useful. That's happened too many times in the past. Not this time. Sucka.

Namaste.

Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or your predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.

-- William Faulkner

Insomniac Special

I sat down to meditate tonight, like I do every night, and the thoughts just wouldn't stop flowing. I found it doubtful that they're going to stop in order for me to get some sleep, so I might as well put them into the noosphere so that I can get some shut eye. And because I'm so. Freakin'. Excited.

Let me give a brief synopsis of why I'm all worked up. Over the past three or so months, a never-ending stream of synchronous events have flooded my life with inspiration. I'll probably post the story of my journey down this path sometime this week, just in case anyone's interested in following the breadcrumbs to where I am today. Suffice it to say that as of now, I feel like all the puzzle pieces of my life are slowly falling into place.

The main reason I'm all shook up right now is because Brian Johnson, the CEO and Philosopher King of Zaadz, e-mailed me and gave me a major kick in the pants. A compassionate one, of course. He wants me to get more involved in Zaadz, to really put my youthful (well, I'm not that much younger than him and his crew) fire and enthusiasm into the next generation of zaadzsters. I've been slacking in this for a little over a month now, and it's time to get going.

I feel like all these nodes are opening up all around me. With Zaadz, Villanova, and life in general all ahead of me, things are looking exciting, breathtaking and record-braking. All of this does, however, have a very interesting cathartic affect on me: I'm coming face to face with many of my shadows. The main one: a fear of doing something great. I talk all about how I want to save the world, change the world, etc, but when I actually look at how all my internal chatter goes, I believe I can't. I KNOW I can. I just don't "believe" it. The great thing about shadows, though, is that all you have to do to solve them is shine some light on them. And read more of the Working for Good curriculum.

Wow, I feel a lot better now. All of these ideas just kept popping in and out of my head during meditation (which isn't good meditation etiquette, by the way, except that everything is always already perfect... :) ), and now they're all written down. Or up. However you want to look on it.

Until we meet again, find that place where pleasure and meaning intersect.

Namaste.

PS - There's this Pod on Zaadz called GenZaadz. Totally what I had in mind with Think Bowl. I wonder if I can really start something meaningful in Chi before I leave? Or maybe after I leave? I guess an alumnist would have more clout...

Knowledge vs. Ignorance

[Cross Posted on Think Bowl]

What good fortune for those in power that people do not think.

-- Adolf Hitler

In Ms. Shulman's AP Language and Composition class, the students recieved a prompt to the affect of:

There are two differing aphorisms around regarding truth. The first is that "knowledge is power." The second is that "ignorance is bliss." Which of these aphorisms do you most agree with and why? Support your answer with examples from...

Ms. Shulman called on me to give an example of how I would answer the prompt. So I blurted out an answer to the affect of, "I think that knowledge is power because the ancient Greek philosophers stated, 'The unexamined life isn't worth living.'" Considering the time constraints, I made a valid try at answering the question in a cursory way. However, after some synchronous reading, I've decided this question deserves further examination.

Clearly, this question falls into an "either/or" rather than a "both/and" dichotomy and that may be part of the issue. Asked to read a students essay, I ended up telling him that his essay was a little too wishy-washy. If he was going to write an argumentative paper, he needed to take a stand and, well, stand by it. Looking back on his paper now, I see that it wasn't so much that he decided to try the "both/and" method of viewing the problem, but that he didn't really skillfully weave the two aphorisms together.

In trying to attemp this weaving, I'm going to take a rather abstract view on this topic, and then wrap up with some more practical examples to see how the abstraction works in real life. Here we go.

The main problem I see with the first aphorism, knowledge is power, rests in the utter ignorance of the damage that a certain type of knowledge may inflict. Plainly, all knowledge isn't created equal, and most certainly all people are not equally ready to recieve knowledge. The assumption that all knowledge is power to all people is a bit simplistic, if not dangerous. Yes, knowledge is power, but as the Buddha said, "A novice may take a small bit of advice and bang his head against the wall many times with it" (my paraphrasing). Ignoring development is one of the main sins of modern society. We need not follow it in this argument.

In terms of the second aphorism, the idea that ignorance is bliss just feels wrong to me. At one point, a year or so ago, I was a firm believer in the idea that "the truth shall set you free," no matter what that "truth" was or how it was told. That belief evolved a little further into the advice stated by Gloria Steinem that "[t]he truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off." Ignorance, I thought, could not possibly be bliss, because ignorance is what seperates you from bliss. According to Buddhist philosophy, ignorance of the true nature of reality is all that seperates one resting in samsara (suffering) from nirvana (enlightenment).

Then, however, I learned, as I stated about the "power" argument, that all knowledge isn't the same, and that knowledge without compassion can be extremely hurtful. As with all things in life, both knowledge and people come in differing degrees of strength. For a fully grown human, ignorance never means bliss, and knowledge always means power. For a four year old child, however, ignorance of things that they could not accurately comprehend (like the fact that Santa Clause isn't real or that deat is very real) may be beneficial.

Now a practical example to test these assertions. Take the common trick question, "Would it be beneficial or harmful to a person if they knew for certain the date of their death?" In this scenario, both camps of aphorisms will yell out that their aphorism saves the day. The knowledge camp will say that knowing the date of ones death will help one to live a more fulfilling life. The ignorance camp will state that such a scenario would cripple a person, and that in order to live a happy life, that person should be ignorant of their death-date. I say that both camps are true, but partial. Many cancer patients know the date of their death, at least as proscribed by doctors, to within a few months. For some of these patients, the news is crippling, and they end up dying long before their deadline because they lose the will to live. Others see this deadline as a second chance, growing beyond their present condition, regardless of if they are to die. This scenario highlights the importance of development in fact giving: you have to be certain the person is ready to hear the information you are about to give them. This problem explores only one way the knowledge/ignorance dualism may be integrated. I'm sure there are many others. In a topic this nuanced, there has to be.

To summarize, the two statements, ignorance is bliss and knowledge is power, both are true depending on the strength of the "truth" and the development of the person learning the truth. Therefore, both when searching for truth and sharing truth, a person should always be aware of who/what they're dealing with and act accordingly, always with skillful means.

I leave you, then, skillfully searching for knowledge in a compassionate manner.

Crazy Fundies

I was sitting in the car yesterday, looking at all the billboards lining the highway when I saw that one I hate. You know, the one with the Star of David on it that has the quote from the Bible, something to the effect of, "Those who support Israel will prosper." You know, the one by the Solid Rock Baptist Church. I hate that sign. But that's not what this post is about.

The sign has the web address of that church. So, I decided to go to SolidRockBaptist.org and check it out. I was scrolling through the site, expecting to be disappointed when I came accross the Way To Heaven page. 'This should be interesting,' I thought as I clicked on the link. What pops up? Something that looks like an infomercial, but for my soul. Needless to say, I was a bit suprised to find out that "[o]ur loving God is holy and just, so He must punish sin." What, this holy dude has to punish my sins? Then I found out that "Jesus is the only way to Heaven." Oh, okay, that's cool. How do I get to Jesus, then?

It turns out all I have to do is sign a contract stating, "Dear Heavenly Father, I know I am a sinner. I am sorry for my sin. Please forgive me. I believe the Lord Jesus died on the cross for me. Right now, I trust Jesus 100% to be my Saviour and to take me to heaven when I die. I now accept your free gift of eternal life. Thank you for loving me and forgiving me. Thank you for saving me. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen." That's all? Wow, and I thought I'd have to like, do stuff? Sign here? I'm there.

Actually, I wouldn't be caught dead (bad pun, I know) in any sort of "heaven" with people like that. Blech.

It's funny how we make fun of "extremist" Muslims who think they'll go to a heaven with 70 virgins for being matyrs when something like 70% of Americans think they can get into heaven just by signing a contract with Yahweh, or, I mean, God, er, I mean, Jesus Christ. Man, there's just too many names for that Christian God!

That said, note that I do greatly appreciate Christianity, and not just because I was raised Catholic for 17 years. Jesus seems like a real cool dude, and some of the saints seem like they kicked ass. But the crazy fundies have most certainly taken "The Way" and covered it in feces. Smelly, smelly feces.

God Bless America.

God, please save America from "your" followers.

PS - Man, I'm on a roll tonight. It must be that time of the month. If I offended anyone, sorry. My "PC" filter doesn't seem to be functioning. I suppose I should stop posting before I thoroughly shove my foot into my mouth.

Evolve or Die

I read a great article by Steve Pavlina today entitled Concious Evolution. You should definitely check it out. It's part of his Meaning of Life Series, which I must add is also excellent.

Anyway, the one part of the article that I totally dug was the part of about vegetarianism. It pretty much summarizes the political reasons to stop eating meat. Here's the good part:

Consider something as simple as diet. The environmental consequences of the Standard American Diet are severe — to say it wastes resources and pollutes the environment is a gross understatement. The U.S. government subsidizes most of it, which hides the true costs. It takes 18 times as much land to grow the food for someone eating the SAD diet compared to someone eating a vegan-plant based diet. If someone eating the SAD diet were to eat vegan for just one day, they’d save more water than they would by not showering for a year. Your decision to eat a burger for dinner is not merely a health choice — it’s an environmental and political one as well. In fact, virtually anything you might do environmentally or politically in your lifetime is irrelevant compared to the simple decision of what to eat each day. You could devote your entire life to Greenpeace, and it will only amount to a puny fraction of what you’d accomplish by living as a resource-guzzling playboy who happens to be vegetarian.

And yet, so few people are aware of the long-range consequences of what they do because their “knowledge” is fed to them by marketers. They buy into the social context instead of thinking for themselves. People make billions off the SAD diet, and it doesn’t hurt them financially if you want to plant a few trees on the side or clean up some trash to feel good about yourself, as long as you keep downing the burgers. But try to attack the diet that makes them rich, and they’ll drown you in marketing until you submit.

SAD, indeed. What's the excuse, then? I figure most people will just tell me, "Well, humans have been eating meat since, like, forever!" Others will just lie to themselves and tell me the facts here are bullshit. Others will just ignore this and continue eating meat, pretending like the problem isn't there. I know, I did all of those things.

The facts still remain. They don't go away. Not because you don't like them. Not because you disagree with them. So, if you're not going to give up meat for your health or for animal rights, maybe you'll do it for the future of humanity?

Just maybe.

PS: Sorry about the extremely overbearing, holier-than-thou tone of this article. I guess all those jokes about me not eating meat have really gotten to me, at least subconsciously. At the same time, I just figure most people haven't heard these statistics. I don't expect any changes because of this information; I heard these stats in August and didn't change my diet until late December.

Still, I don't know, I would just feel inauthentic if I didn't share this.

Thanks for you patience and forgiveness.

As always, namaste.

What the Skype!

Hm, while reading the article from the previous post, I came across a little program called Skype. Skype basically lets you call anyone that also uses Skype for free, anywhere.

Brilliant. All you have to pay for is your internet connection, which you're going to use anyway. Then you can call anyone you know. It's like AIM, but with a phone.

Mm. I don't talk all that much on the phone, but if I did, this would be a breakthrough.

Maybe it'll be useful to some of you out there.

I <3 technology (when used for good).

Namaste.

A Breath of Fresh Air

While reading Brian Johson's blog, I came across this very interesting program titled Working for Good. The basic purpose of this "curriculum" is to ignite the passion in people throughout the world to become better entrepreneurs, not necessarily in the "start your own business" sense, but more in the "individual initiative to change the world" sort. It's all sorts of Zaadz like.

Mm, it speaks to the "I wanna save the world" element in me. I highly suggest downloading their curriculum, which is something like a pamphlet filled with inspiring articles. It's a very interesting read. I've only read the first entry, titled "Progress and Possibility" so far, but its good stuff. It dismisses the falsehood that the world's going to hell in a hell basket. Apparently, it's not. :) Always good to hear, especially with how the media makes the apocalypse seem ever so plausible.

Mm, this stuff just makes me all warm and fuzzy. Optimism, you win the day!

Namaste.

Life Boat Ethics

[Cross Posted on Think Bowl]

Scenario: you're on a lifeboat that's just cast off from a sinking ship. The ship has ten people on it but can only safely hold seven. The occupants include: a doctor, a pregnant mother, two brothers who seem just a little bit shady, a little girl, about seven years old, an old Catholic priest, an eighty year old woman, an mentally retarded young man, a female supermodel, and yourself.

What do you do?

This type of scenario is known as "lifeboat ethics." I got the idea from this dialogue between and Ken Wilber. The dialogue discusses how ethics become extremely fuzzy the harder you look at them. Life isn't black and white, it's a rainbow. They then go on to discuss all these high falootin' ideas like universal compassion, taking the perspective of the other, etc. Then, Wilber makes a simple point: the only way any of these concepts do any good is if they work in extreme cases. He then outlines something similar to the scenario above.

This reminds me of a conversation I/others had with Mr. Orlando a month and a half ago. We were talking about the Dubai controversy, and I said something like, "Well, my opinion is that I wish we didn't have this problem." Mr. Orlando then said, "Wow, that's such a childish mentality." I was hurt. I thought this sort of thinking made me an idealist. Now, I realize it makes me a delusioned smuck. Wishing the problem weren't there doesn't solve the problem. It just makes it worse.

That being the case, what to do on this particular lifeboat. I'll post my response sometime in the next two days. In the meanwhile, have fun with it. You don't necessarily have to come up with an answer; it's just the thinking about it that matters. It's mental/ethical exercise. Exercise that muscle. :)

Namaste.

Apples and Attachment

The Second Noble Truth of Buddhism is pretty simple: there is a cause for Dukkha (suffering), which is attachment and desire. Yep, I think that's definitely a universal truth. Think about it, if you're not "attached" (read obsessed) with something, then you won't suffer. You'll be like a duck in the water, easily swimming through life without ever getting wet.

Yeah, if it were only that simple. It turns out that escaping from attachment can be a little more difficult than one might think. Personally, I had a little encounter with attachment this past week, as alluded to in this post. Namely, my reality bubble was rather abruptly burst on Monday when I found out that Villanova plans to give all of its incoming freshman a labtop computer starting with my class, the class of '10 (wow, that's a lame class...). Most people wouldn't be too disappointed by this (what, we're getting a free labtop!), but I've been planning on getting this sexy machine since January. Anyone who knows me knows that I have an obsession with Apple computers and a love/hate (more so hate) relationship with peecees. Now I learned I'd have to wait another four years to get that Mac. Noooooooooo...

Simply, my obsession with this computer situation put me in a rather sour mood that threw off the majority of this past week. I definitely went through the five stages of grief. I started with denial: 'No way, this isn't true. There must be a mistake.' Then I moved on to anger: 'What the f*#$, I've been waiting for this since forever. Screw you Villanova!' Then came bargaining: 'Wait, I can e-mail them, see if I can bring my own labtop and have the price reduced from my tuition!' Depression was kind of short lived and non-existent (it is just a computer after all). Acceptance came rather spontaneously Wednesday: 'Oh, okay. Um, well, I'll just have to wait until August to get my computer. It's all good.'

I think my easy flow through these stages has to do with the little Buddhist training I've taught myself. Attachment, in Buddhism, is the enemy of enlightenement, so the Buddhists have tons of tools to deal with it. One of my favorites is "witnessing." Basically, you just sit back and objectively monitor your thoughts. We all have a permanent stream of thoughts that flow through our mind, we just don't notice them most of the time. In this situation, I quite literally saw all the anger, denial, bargaining, etc. boiling up and just laughed at it. I saw the sentences above describing the steps appear and disappear. Then, after observing the flow of emotions, acceptance just came naturally. All things are impermanent, the First Noble Truth.

Now, the fact that I got upset in the first place is a sign that I still have a lot of spiritual maturation left to do. But still, this was a fun exercise in self-awareness.

Who thought I'd learn such a lesson from my future college before I even went there?

Namaste.