Relaxation

It's funny, I forgot what that was like. You know, relaxing? It's really a great feeling. Doing nothing. And when you DO do something, it being something that you want to do. Crazy ass shit!

It's rather nice out here at my grandmother's house. Quiet, except for my brother. He's never quiet. But where would I be without him. His, erhm, sagely advice has gotten me through plenty of tough spots this past year. And he's really, really funny.

I've been doing a lot of thinking out here. I know, you're thinking, 'More thinking? Does he REALLY need to do MORE thinking?' Of course not. But would I be Dave Darmon if I didn't? I mean, I'm the crazy liberal hippy pacifist philosopher kid. And I like that label! Though I've been thinking about how I should step out of it some. And I plan to this year.

And on a completely different note, I love Macs. Even this one, which is only a 600 mHz iMac hooked up to a dial-up internet connection. It still makes me all tingly inside. I don't know what it is, but Macs just make me feel that way. Maybe it's how they seem so organic?

Well, the real world is a beautiful thing. And I love food that doesn't suck!

Namaste.

Grandma's House

And here I am, in Indiana. I'm finally done with Governor's School. And it feels like I was never there. Isn't it funny how it's so much easier to return to normality than to enter into novelty? I'm sure there's some sort of valuable life metaphor in there. I just don't feel like looking for it!

I enjoy these yearly visits to my grandmother's house. They remind me of simpler things: of childhood; of a worry free life; of innocence. You have to love nostalgia. Isn't it a great thing?

I don't have anything much useful to say for now. Yesterday's banquet was a lot of fun. But, as my brother said, it was just inside jokes that Gov School people would get and others wouldn't. But they were such funny inside jokes!

Summer's halfway done, folks. Crazy ass shi...

I hope you've enjoyed it. I can't wait to be home for the rest of it! Awww yaaaaah!

Good Bye CMU / Memories

The Science of Eternal Sunshine

Somehow it seems appropriate that this be the last topic I address from CMU.

As you've read in the article, scienctists are developing technology that could target a person's memories and erase specific ones.

If you could do that, would you? If you could erase any memory from your life, forget that it had ever happened, would you?

I don't think I would. No matter how painful the memory, I don't think that just forgetting it is the solution. The key is to remember it, live it, emerse oneself in it. Only then can one learn a lesson from it. Otherwise the experience has been for naught. And trust me, even if you don't remember the experience , it still happened.

This is one of those sciences that I think would make us less human, not more. Like life lengthening ones: do you really want to live forever? Being human involves living through some suffering. And the beauty of humanity isn't found in just the sunny places; it's also found in the shadows.

Don't worry, there aren't any memories from Governor's School that I want to erase. In fact, I've found this experience to be a very pleasant one. I don't know if it's "one of the memories that [I'll] keep with [me] forever," but it definitely is one of the best sets I've had.

I'm going to my grandmother's house in Elkhart, Indiana, tomorrow. I'll be there for a week.

Then I'll see you all around Chi. When I get home, I'm SO just going to drive around for an hour through Chi. Both to get a feel for driving again and to get a feel for Chi again.

Peace. Namaste.

Last Day

Yeah.

Sitting in the physics lab for the last time. Ever. Unless I decide to go to CMU AND go into physics. Not likely.

One more day, everyone. Then I'm out of here. One more day. And then I'm back to real life.

I have lots of things that I'm thinking and lots of things that I want to say about random stuff. But they don't feel right. They don't feel right for now.

Can't really tell you how I feel right now. It doesn't come down to words. The map is not the territory. And therefore it's not something that I can express. It's amazing how one thing can make you feel all sorts of funny inside. No matter what.

I don't know if I'll post again from Governor's School. And interweb access at my grandma's house is sketchy. Don't fall apart without me. Please. I don't need you guys falling apart. I'm greedy.

Peace. Om Mani Padme Hum... Om Mani Padme Hum...

Note: :)

Almost Done

I have my team project presentation in about an hour! It'll go really well, and then I can just sit back and enjoy everyone elses (or just sleep).

Wow. One more day. That is SO awesome.

I'm thinking about putting down some ideas about killing / murder / just wars sometime. But I might not get to it before I leave. We'll see. Anyway, it's not like this ideas are novel or earth-shattering.

I'll be out of here soon. Off to Indiana! And then (duh duh duh duuuuuh) Chi!

Who woulda thunk I'd ever be excited to return to Chi? Silly me.

Common Sense

Learning from Lance

Thank you. Finally someone that has some common sense. But I suppose common sense comes in many different flavors. So, it's not so much that this guy has common sense, but that he has my kind of common sense. Oh well, you know how crazy relativity can get.

We have our last Barry Time Variety Hour today. :-(
It's so sad. Not really. But I'm sure some people will get upset. That's okay.

Ed and I were discoursing on all the freedoms we look forward to having when we return home. The list includes going downstairs after 11:30, eating good food, installing programs on a computer, going on the opposite sex's side of the hall (hehehe), and leaving the "green zone." Yep, freedom. And the friends and family. Once again, they're crucial.

Though I have made a (relatively) good friend in Jeff. He's a cool kid. Not too extroverted, but enough that he and I can talk. Go figure. I don't think I'll talk to him after this, but it was still nice to get to know one more kid.

I want to make a movie! Anyone want to join me?

Namaste. And remember, Om Mani Padme Hum.

Hi, Ho, Hi, Ho, It's Off to Work We Go

Not much time to post. The computers in the library weren't liking me.

I'm off to the last real day of team project. I think we'll be done today by lunch. At least, we should be. And then I don't know what we're going to do.

I think my team project is going out for dinner today. Should be fun, though I'm gonna have to waste some money getting money from the ATM. Oh well.

I'm almost done. So close. I can see the finish line. As I once told a friend, "Let's sprint!"

Macro Heaven

Wow. So, we were doing the whole "enter click" thing in team project that I told you about previously. And then I had this startling revelation. If you use built-in features of Microsoft Word (a la Search and Replace and Macros), you can make the computer do all that. So, something that used to take us about 5 or so minutes now takes about 10 seconds, if not less. All because of a burst of creativity. Thanks, Eros.

Irony: everyone in the team project has to speak during our oral presentation. My part is about the statistics behind our project (which for all intensive purposes [ :) ] say that the model us phewy) and it's called, phonetically "ky [as in sky]" squared. If you know anything about the Greek alphabet, this letter's latinized version is chi, and it looks like a lowercase, cursive x. So, even though Chi [read like eye] may suck, apparently when you square it, it's something really useful. And I get to be the one to talk about it. Hahahaha.

Team project week is going by real fast. It's hard to believe I only have another three days here. Amazing.

I'm bursting with energy right now. So much creative energy, ready to explode. But unable to. I haven't felt like this since the very beginning of May. It felt like I was on the verge of something powerful. But it just kind of imploded(you know, life circumstances and such). Hopefully said life circumstances can be handled in a less, well, implosive way this time. And then I can use all this energy to save the world.

[whoosh / theme song]

Day 2 (of 5)

The Middle
By Jimmy Eatworld

Hey, don't write yourself off yet.
It's only in your head you feel left out or
looked down on.
Just try your best, try everything you can.
And don't you worry what they tell themselves when you're away.
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle, it'll up the ride.
Everything will be just fine, everything will be alright.
Hey, you know they're all the same.
You know you're doing better on your own, so don't buy in.
Live right now.
Yeah, just be yourself.
It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else.
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything will be just fine, everything will be alright.
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything will be just fine, everything will be alright.
Hey, don't write yourself off yet.
It's only in your head you feel left out or
looked down on.
Just do your best, do everything you can.
And don't you worry what the bitter hearts are gonna say.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

I figured I'd round out yesterday's rather pessimistic song with this much more optomistic one. They both serve their place. You know, yin-yang, male-female, black-white, etc.

Yesterday went by incredibly fast. Assuming all the team project days or like that, I'll be out of here in no time flat. Score!

I'm really looking forward to going back to civilization. You know, having my own room, a solo bathroom, a television (though I'm not so much missing that one), and decent, healthy food. Those are the things that I miss. Oh, yeah, and my family and friends. They're at the top of that list.

Time to go to the place where they suck the fun out with a straw. See you all later!

Appropriate

In The End
by Linkin Park

It starts with
one thing I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme
to explain in due time
All I know
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It's so unreal
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on
But didn't even know
Wasted it all just to
Watch it go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried
It all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually
be a memory
of a time when

I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
And lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter

One thing
I don't know why
Doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme
To remind myself How
I tried so hard

-------------------------------------------

I don't really know why I posted that song. It was on someone's CD today during team project, and it just hit a chord with me. Whatever. It's now posted.

Our team project really, really sucks. As my buddy Jeff would tell you, if you want to simulate what we've done, take your one had like it's holding a mouse, and your other like it's on a keyboard. Now click the mouse and hit the enter key, one after the other repetitively. And every once in while pretend you've made a mistake; now hit control-z to undo the mistake. And that's what we've been up to.

Only three more "real" days here. Score!

They had fake vanilla icecream today. Grrrrr.

I love listening to foreign speakers' conversations!

And that's all the mediocrity I will add to the web today. Thanks, goodbye.

Limbo

(And no, I'm not talking about that awesome party game...)

While here, I've come accross a strange sort of phenomena: times that aren't quite one thing, but aren't quite another either. You know, times that aren't long enough to get anything useful done, but aren't short enough to just breeze by. Or times when you know you could be doing something, but you can't find anything to do.

E.G. When it's time between classes here, but it's only 10 minutes. There isn't much to do, but it's also not like at Chi where time between classes is short (4 minutes) and therefore the time passes quickly. Or this period in general. Governor's school is essentially over, but haven't left. I don't really have anything left to do here, but I also can't return home to get stuff done there.

I'm sure there is a good use for these "limbo" or "in-between" times. For the time between classes, I suppose mindfulness meditation or something of that sort would be useful. If there's nothing to do, why not just be, right? And for this time now between Gov School and the rest of my summer, I suppose I can just try to enjoy the people, the school, the food (that one'll be a toughy) and the experience as much as I can. Because in a week, it'll all just be a whispy memory.

I'm glad I got that out of the way. On a less serious / contemplative note, Team Project Hell Week has officially started. Although, unlike Ed's team that had to get up and be ready by 7:30, we didn't start until 10.

And I still want to be home.

Public Service Announcement: Mr. Orlando requests that anyone that wishes for him to write a letter of recommendation for college ask him now, so that he may finish them all before school starts. You can contact him at korlando@chichestersd.org. Spread the word.

Hm, I Wonder...

The Rabbi Who Loved Evangelicals

(If you don't have a username, go to BugMeNot.com and type in nytimes.com to get one.)

Yeah. And some people wonder why other parts of the world (especially the Arab part) hate us. Could it have to do with the fact that we're commercializing religion and trying to bring more Jews (these ones from India) into Isreal?

I'm not justifying anything that has been done by Arab extremists. What they did is obviously wrong on all counts. But at the same time, that doesn't justify US (take that as both the pronoun and the country) going around and sticking our nose where it doesn't belong. Especially if it's to carry out some obscure passage in our Holy Book.

I don't often editorialize (well, that's a lie), but this one just tickled me pink. It reminds me of a billboard on 452 by my house that says something like, "God blesses those who help the kingdom of Isreal," and is funded by the Solid Rock Baptist Church. Isreal is a nation state. It's land on the Earth. It's not inherently Holy. If you were to take all the land from there and dump it somewhere else, which is holy, the original location or the new one? Maybe neither?

I have very little room to speak on this issue since I'm neither Jewish nor an Evangelical Christian. If I've missed some key point in the argument, please forgive me. I never claim that I'm 100% accurate. But from where I see it, that is how I see it.

And now I've used a blog for something that it's actually meant for. Go figure.

Writing is so cool...

Fiction is so awesome. And so are cool lyrics. I really have to get to writing fiction more often... And reading it too...

Boredom

I was bored, so I made this "avatar." Doesn't really look anything like me, but like I said, I was bored. And when you're bored, you do crazy things.

I need home...

The Chair Game!

Went to the picnic. The people played a fun game with Ed and I. We sat at a table, and people came to the table and took chairs from us. We got down to one chair. But they didn't want to take it from us. Then Barry came and was going to sit with us, but didn't.

Anyway, the chair game was fun. You should play it sometime with all your friends.

And the food was mediocre. As Ed said, the only difference between the veggie burger and the meat burger was Red 5.

Apples, at last!

I've finally found the Apples in the Hunt Libary here at CMU. It only took me, well, forever. But they hide them so well. Not only are they in the basement, but they're behind some nook that looks like it's a dead end, in a really out of the way room. But once you get to them, there's only about two other people in the room (the smart ones!) and it's very - personal.

Not like it's going to do me much good though. Not going to have much time to use them in the next week. Oh well, it's still one of those little things to be thankful for.

I'm so pumped up right now about doing things when I get home. I hope I can keep up the energy when I actually get home.

That's all for now. I have a picnic in a little while. Fun.

Some Thoughts

Note: These thoughts are of very little value to anyone but me. I just felt like putting them down. Why I put them down here, nobody knows. And that's my disclaimer.

So, sitting here in a computer lab at CMU (this acronym is apparently taken by Central Michigan University, but when have I ever bowed down to "the man"), I've been letting my mind race. But then again, since I've gotten here, my mind has been in perpetual race mode. I don't think it's ever turned off. I don't know if it will. "Monkey mind" they call it in Eastern thought. Or at least, I think it's Eastern thought; I might just be reading New Age crap for all I know.

Okay, so that was sort of disjointed on purpose (I think). At least, I was observing myself make a fool of myself. (At this point, if you think I'm crazy, etc., you're probably more right than you know, and may stop reading. But if somehow you're still interested, continue on. But be warned, I'm going to get real steeped in Eastern religious jargon (once again, I don't really know if it's Eastern religious jargon, blah blah blah) so it might get confusing for all you normal people. Oh, and being normal is a good thing, in case you're wondering). So, the Witness was definitely there going, "Yeah, he's making a fool of himself on purpose. I see it, I'm aware of it. But luckily, I'm not the fool." So that was kind of cool.

Anyway, what I've been thinking about is the conflict between Form and Emptiness. Now, if I were a mere blue, I'd say it's simple: death to Form and live in Emptiness. That's sweet. But even enlightened people eat food. You don't see them going, "Wow man, I'm so enlightened. I don't need to eat. I'll just live off of bliss." Obviously then that isn't the thing to do.

Now to the orange. He (or s/he if you prefer... freakin' feminists! :) ) says, "Emptiness isn't really there. All that's there is what I can see / hear / smell / touch / taste with my sensee. Everything else is balogna." I don't like this reductionist frame of mind either. It seems, well, rather reductionist. I mean, the Pythagorean Theorem can't be grasped with the senses, but we "know" that it's real. Why? Because we can construct it in our subtle mind. So it has to be real. Same thing with Emptiness (though I've yet to get there).

This leads to the non-dual idea: that it's not Emptiness OR Form, but rather both. But that just opens a whole new can of worms. If it was just one or the other, living life the "right" and "best" way would be rather easy. Either you go and live in some secluded mountain somewhere (Emptiness), or you go and make a big success of yourself (Form). Very, very simple. But what if it's both? That's where I'm confused.

There's a Zen story about an Ox-herder. It goes through this whole metaphysical thingamabob about Enlightenment. And do you know what the end of the story is? It's the Ox-herder entering the market with "open hands." He goes through all this training, all this "enlightenment," just to enter the market again with "open hands." WTF, you might be thinking. But maybe that's the point. That's the non-dual. To enter the world with AWARENESS of the Emptiness, but realize you live in Form. Or to quote a common Western phrase, "To be in the world, but not of it."

Then there it is. Emptiness is eternal and unchanging. It's cool like that, doing it's thing. And form is ephemeral and always changing. It's cool like THAT, doing ITS thing. And I, a crazy human that is known as Homo sapiens sapiens (which for any of you that don't know Latin, means a man that can think about thinking [aka contemplate]) get to live in this non-dual world. But would you have it any other way?

Doesn't really solve all my problems, but I'm just a seventeen year old American kid. You can't expect me to be fully enlightened, can you?

And this could end here, but I'm going to add a footnote.

I'm a perfectionist. Anyone that knows me knows this. And I'm a lazy, apathetic perfectionist. That has to be the worst kind.

As of late, I've been using the whole "emptiness" idea as a front for my laziness. I mean, if everything just "is," then why do anything, right? If everything is as it should be, why do anything. But once again, even Buddha ate food. Jesus loved his wine and bread. And Mohammed, well, I don't know much about him, but I'm sure he ate too. That implies that you must not just say, "Dude, this shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S." You have to DO stuff.

And I'm also horrible at accepting things.

In short: Get up off your lazy, fake-enlightened, non-accepting ass, and get some stuff done (that should be done, and accept the things that you can't change!

And that's all for now. Thank you and goodbye.

(No brain cells were injured in the making of this blog. At least, none of mine were. Maybe some of yours were. I'm sorry, in that case. Namaste.)

Stuff (And Goodbyes)

Yep, not really much to say today. I mean, there's never really anything for me to say, but today it's even more apparent than usual.

Funny moment of today:

We had our last Discrete Math Core Class today. So, about seven guys sit in the front row, each with a 24oz bottle of soda in hand. Then, just as Dr. Mackey is about to start, they open all the bottles. Now, you'd find this funny if you realize that Dr. Mackey drinks out of a 24oz bottle of Diet Coke every day in class (aspartame, the horror!). But one of the kids bottles must have been shaken, because it exploded (you know, soda explosion). So, Dr. Mackey says, "amateurs! We call that premature carbonation!" Hilariously funny!

Dr. Mackey left us by saying, "I'm not really good with mushy good-byes. So - aloha," and then he stepped out the door. Wow, goodbyes. I don't know why, but it made me think of graduating from High School and saying goodbye to everyone. But I like the idea of aloha. Because it means hello and goodbye, depending on the context. And that has a deeper meaning for me. So maybe in my valedictory speech, I can say, "Aloha!" to everyone. Yeah, I think that would work.

Speaking of valedictory speeches, here at Gov School one girl and one guy get to give one. Now, there aren't any grades here, so it's not based on "rank" or anything. But nevertheless, we got to choose who we wanted. I voted for a kid named Chase Kramer. You see, we were supposed to choose someone "who exemplifies the governor's school program." Now, Chase doesn't quite do that. What he does do is sleep in class, everyday, all day. And that's why it'd be so ironic / funny. And I love irony.

Wow, I came up with a lot more to talk about today than I thought I would. Impressive.

Anyway, I've got to get to learning about Wet Dark Energy and whatnot. Fun stuff. You see, nobody in my Team Project really knows what we're doing. So, we just run around like chickens with our heads cut off. But it works.

That's all for now. Aloha (or ciao, which apparently has the same dual meaning).

Meehhrr!

I want to come home so badly. Not so much because of homesickness (that passed after the first week), but rather because I want to get started on so many things and hang out with my friends. Yeah, it's cool here: lots of freedom, the classes are (mostly) fun, and I get free food (wait, I get that at home!). Other than that, this place doesn't have much going for it. Home!

Anyway, Organic Chemistry is kind of fun when you get to Synthesis Reactions. There's some odd thrill in making a molecule from scratch. Don't think I want to go into it, but it's still fun.

We found out why Mackey was so mad! He's worried about America's future (mathematically speaking). Since we're supposedly the best and the brightest of math/science types in the state, when we sleep and slack off he worries. Why? Because he says other countries don't like us anymore, so we won't be able to import foreign intelligencia anymore. You think Indian's want to come to MIT? Nope. They have IIT, and it's better.

So, that's why he got so upset with us. I guess it's okay. He feels pressured to make us into super hard-working math-bots. Which is cool. Just not for me.

What's for me? I don't know. Yesterday I decided I might like nanotechnology for a career. Just kind of out of the blue. But at least it's an idea.

Last day of Astrophysics today. Gracias a Dios!

Have fun with your summer. Man, this summer feels so - not real. It just feels like an extension of school. Very weird. It's July 20th already.

AP Scores

I'm glad to hear that all the normal folk are getting their AP scores. So far I know that Ed and Laura did awesome (I'm not going to say how they did, because that's not my place. :) ). If anyone else wants to tell me, you can drop me a line at ddarmon8705@yahoo.com (don't ask why I made a new e-mail address... I get bored here and just do things).

Times are speeding up here at Gov School. All us govies (that's what the teachers call us) are preparing for Team Project Hell Week. Sounds like fun, don't it?

On a cheerier note, we're finishing up all of our final homework assignments. Yay!

Um, I don't know. Stuff.

Ah, I was reading Xanga's and such from previous years PGSS members. They're really funny to read, because I can totally relate to them. And if you're a govie looking at this years from now, I say hi! And don't worry, it isn't that bad.

Enough of my ranting. I'm not funny or informative, but hey, I do what I can.

Wow...

Here's a powerful song about abortion that I found. It's really, well, you'd just have to hear it:

-----------------------------------------

You My Child by Stuart Davis

Of all the world's perfections,
we safely may assume
the most blessed and untainted
is the treasure in the womb

We wait for revelations,
some miracle, some sign
and suddenly a life is sparked
it almost seems divine

But both of us are much too young
to know what we believe
and we can't find the answers
in how you were conceived


So you won't feel the rapture
of your mother's first embrace
and I won't see my features
in the contour of your face
we won't hug your body
and press against its warmth
for you my child will not be born

If we fear the grand design
or deny a higher source
it's only that we all prefer
controlling our own course
Because a million things can happen,
and you were just the one
we were the least prepared for,
a daughter or a son

The choice is more than painful,
the wounds may never mend
as we wonder what you might have done
and who you might have been

-----------------------------------------

You really have to hear it to get the full effect. But when you do hear it, wow. I mean, if pro-lifers would use something like this instead of gruesome pictures of mutilated fetuses, they might get further. I'm "pro-choice" (I put the parenthesese because it's really not that simple. As my mom says, "The world's not black and white."), but this touched me. And most people would consider Stuart Davis "liberal." Go figure. Just proves that the world's made up of shades of gray, heck, a whole rainbow!

Anyway, if you haven't bought any of Stuart Davis' music yet, you really should. It's all good stuff. And it's only $1 per song. Come on, do it!

Enough of my peer pressure. One more week of classes, and then one week of team project, and I'm done! Woot. Boot camp? Yeah, something like that.

Enjoy your summer, everyone! And remember, relax! ; )

TOO much THINKING

Have you ever felt like you've just been thinking too long? As a good song goes, "it makes me thirsty, this salt I'm drinking / My head is bursting but I won't stop thinking." It's so true.

But it just seems to be in my nature to push my brain far past it should go. With everything (well, mostly everything). Science, math, philosophy, religion, politics, personal relationships, etc. I just won't let a situation lie as it is.

And this is one of my biggest "flaws." I put it in parentheses not because I'm downplaying it, but rather because I don't like the word flaw. It's a characteristic I have that doesn't work for me. Not a "flaw," just something. And I suppose that's a start on the way to acceptance.

Anyway, back to the flaw. I have this thing against accepting what's here and now. I want to think about it, rap my little brain around it, understand it, and then change it. Heaven forbid I let something be how it is for a bit.

Zen. Wherever you go, there you are. Stop thinking every once in a while. It's a duality that's non-dual. Thinking or not thinking. Neither or both. Relax into the mystery.

Sorry for this really esoteric post. It's just one of the things swirling around in my head right now. Whether things should be left as is or changed. I suppose it depends. Heh. When doesn't it.

Ah, the family was here today. It was nice. I love my family. They're all so... lively! It's refreshing. And all really great people. But I'm a little biased. :)

Enjoy the summer. And when you start to think too much, just put on some good (non-thought provoking music), sit back, pull out some we... I mean... and chill!

Weirdest Dream

I had the weirdest dream last night. So, I was a senior and it was right before graduation (like, I'm talking about a day before). I hadn't thought at all about the speech that I would (most likely) be giving at Graduation. I was all bent out of shape about it, and really worried that it wouldn't be up to par. I ended up reading something from a magazine and copying the idea for my speech.

I'm amazed at how much I must think this speech is worth. I mean, I must think that this speech will have some sort of great impact on my class. But I doubt that it will. No one will listen to it. I mean, Joe Klems, one of my brother's friends, told him a week after their graduation, "Yeah, I didn't listen to your speech. I was too excited about graduating."

And it's so true. On the day of graduation, people aren't going to want "words of wisdom" from some fellow student that barely got out of High School alive. But I guess that takes the pressure off of me. No worries.

So what? Nobody's going to be "listening in rapture." No big deal. Say what you want to say, nothing more, nothing less.

Crazy dreams. They make you think about all these crazy things.

The Lateness Club

Yes, yes we have that here. You see, PGSS is supposed to simulate college life. But no, it doesn't. We have curfews, can't have computers, aren't allowed refrigerators, have to do homework, can't go to the bathroom during class, and can't miss class.

Anyway, I'm just bringing this up because now both Ed and I are part of the lateness club. Mine is from two days ago, when I forgot I had Astrophysics and slept from 2 to 4:30, missing about 15 minutes of Astro. Ed's is from today, when he slept in til 9:10, missing the first 10 minutes of Physics. Admittedly, Ed had been up til late last night, so he had a good excuse.

Anyway, that's about all I've got for now. For some reason I'm all excited about coming home and starting all these projects. I guess a vacation does come in handy every once in a while.

There seems to be a rumor spreading, but I don't like spreading rumors, so I'll wait until the facts are straight before I post about it.

That's all for today. Enjoy.

Chem Books Galore!!!

Wow, today's started off as one of the best days ever. So, we have lectures in Doherty Hall, which is the Chemistry and Physics building here at CMU. Ed and I are walking down the hall, and what do we see but a sign that says "Free Chemistry Text Books." Two days earlier, Ed had found a Brown LeMay (you know, what we used for AP Chemistry). But today, oh today, I found a Chang and a Zumdhal. Only 2 years old. And in mint condition. And best of all, free.

Only in Gov School, only in Gov School.

Congrats to everyone that got Captain for marching band. I realized that I have Laura's sister, Alyssa, in my section. That could be fun. I suppose I should be nice. When Justin Illuzi had me in his section, he was nice to me. Karma.

We have our meeting with Barry today. Fun times.

Tsk, tsk, tsk Karl Rove.

Lots of free time due to a lack of Bio. Woot!

Peace

Halfway there... Oh oh... Livin' on a Prayer

Anyway. We had weird physics day today. Very dumb. I really think the physicists just make up half the "particles" and "sparticles" and such. I really do. Maybe I'm just being angry or something, but eh.

Dave (one of the TAs) was wearing a Strong Bad t-shirt. How awesome is that!

Apparently Karl Rove really sucks. But Bush won't get rid of him. Oh no. Gotta stay the course.

Not really looking forward to talking politics in AP US History next year. I imagine it'll just boil down to a big food fight between the "liberals" and the "conservatives" (as if any of us are really liberals or conservatives). Not really that fun a thought. I guess I can just sit those out, though I'm sure I'll get dragged in because I'm the reigning "liberal" in Chi. Or so Adam Costa says.

Today is a very free day. I <3 Wednesdays.

Parents weekend this weekend. WOOH!!! It's almost like getting out of Gov School for 2 days.

Well, have a nice day everyone.

Good Day

Today's been an overall good day. And today marks the half way point of the Governor's School Program!!

Today in Discrete Math, we learned that only about 1/3 of the people who test posotive for HIV actually have the virus. Interesting. One would think it'd be much higher. But I guess that tells you that you can't always trust your intuition.

Nothing quite like listening to "The Bad Touch" by the Bloodhound Gang in Chem Lab. Wow. And thank god for organic (sarcasm). Nothing but sitting around for hours waiting for the reaction to take place.

Astro tonight, and then I should get my physics done. Then it's easy gliding from there.

Have fun with your work free summer! You damn lucky...

O Chem - Day 9 (or My Junior Year?...)

Today's O Chem class was absolutely perfect. I mean, perfect to the T. There were so many ironies, and I'm going to try and list them all.

First, Dr. Farrell (the teacher) began by talking about Free Radical Substitution. This involves a halogen radical "attacking" a carbon compound, and then the carbon radical attacking a halogen compound. He said, "They keep attacking each other, over and over again, like the Hatfields and McCoys." Wow.

Then came the second type of reaction. A nucleophilic substitution. This involves a nucleophile (an Lewis Acid) attacking a carbon compound, and destroying the bonds within the compound. As Dr. Farrell put it, "Has any of you ever had a bond broken? There are two kinds, the ones that go, 'Get away from me. Begone,' and the kind that happen slowly over time." Double wow.

Lastly he talked about how in a nucleophilic substitution, the more highly substituted carbon (the one with the most bonds) is the most stable. As he put it, "A tertiary (one with three other carbons attached to it) has a lot of friends to keep it together. A methyl, on the other hand, is all alone. It doesn't deal with bond breakage very well." Triple wow.

I've decided that week 3, day one O Chem class deserves a t-shirt. There will be a t-shirt made about this! I will make it so!

O Chem? Or Friendship 101? Your decide.

"Philosophizing" is a word?

Apparently "philosophizing" is a word. I just thought it was something funny that I'd come up with. But no.

Anyway, 2 out of 4 weekends are now (almost) complete. And 2 out of 5 weeks are done. Wow, Gov School is going to be over before I know it.

For some weird reason, I'm excited about getting back to Chi. Which is really silly, because I don't think I'll be any better off when I get back. But that's human nature, for you. You always think that you'll be happier somewhere else. But "wherever you go, there you are." Or in plain English, no matter where you go, you're still going to be the person there. So work on yourself, not your surroundings.

Enough philosophizing (score!) for now.

I'm thinking of reworking my style for next year? How does black/white t-shirts with khaki/jean pants sound? Very simple. But I think it'll work.

And since I've bored you to death, bye.

Tired

I'm very tired today. Don't really know why. It's just like any other day.

Had my last day of Bio today. It's fun not paying any attention because you won't need the info anymore.

Band for next year is really looking up. The music looks good. We'll have two tubas (and therefore 3 low brass). And Mr. Reno's writing the drill. This could definitely be a very good year.

Today will be a free day after dinner. I have that to look forward to.

That's all for now.

It's Been A While...

Well, it's been a while since I posted, and I don't have much time to do so, so I'll just put something short and sweet.

Time has been flying (more or less) out here in Carnegie-Mellon. But that means that the summer has been flying by too. But that's okay.

I've been learning lots of stuff, and reading lots of stuff, and eating lots of stuff. That pretty much sums up my experience.

Ed and I came up with this awesome idea for a comic: Liberal Man and Conservative Man. They'll be appearing in a School Newspaper near you!

That's all for now. I hope you're all enjoying your summer.

Bye.

Uh Oh (Dave, you might not want to read this...)

Today we learned that math is based sets, which are poorly defined. Guess what that means? That math is pretty much like philosophy where we kinda sorta know what we're talking about, but we can't really. Although, admittedly, Dave came up with this a while ago. But now we all know it for sure: math isn't certain.

That's a little bit of a drag. I mean, the one constant that I thought I had in my life was math, and now I know it's not. Oh well, I guess that gels well with the Buddhist idea that nothing is permanent / constant except for "emptiness" (You don't want me to go into metaphysical theory now, do you? Just go with me.).

Today's classes were fun! Physics was stuff I'd already learned about Special Relativity, and Math was just extremely funny. Wait until Ed and I get back and tell everyone that Calculus is the easy stuff. Aw man. And Mr. Cole, teach us the Euclidean Algorithim!!!

That's all for now. I hope everyone had a great, awesometastic 4th of July. And happy anniversary of my first baseball game!!! Go Blue Rocks!!! Ah, the memories. Gotta love it when they make it to the 11th inning! "That means you get more baseball for your buck!" Yes, yes it does.

That's all folks. Go learn some math so you can pretend it's real when it isn't.
:-()

The Irony... (Oh, and happy 4th!)

Happy Fourth of July everyone. Time to celebrate that date that really didn't matter in the making of the Declaration of Independence, but that we celebrate anyway. Kind of like Colombus Day, you know, celebrating a crazy rapist guy who wasn't the first person to discover America.

Anyway, I really am happy to be able to live in this country, though I might not sound like it sometimes. It is one of the greatest countries in the world, certainly one of the most free. And luckily from this base of freedom one can branch out and offer real (not military enforced, Christianity backed, economically based) freedom to the world and humanity. It truly is a beautiful thing.

And now to the irony part. So, I'm here at Pennsylvania's Governor's School for the Sciences, which should theoretically turn me on to science even more. But the more I'm here, the more I feel like a good part of science (especially the part I was interested in: theoretical physics) is not as interesting to me as I thought it would be. I want to make a real, tangible difference in the world. What good are a bunch of well fed physicists sitting around discussing string theory when a good deal of people in the world are starving from a poorly formed governmental system / aid system. I don't know, I just feel like philosophy / humanities work is so much more relevant to the real world.

Admittedly, this might just be because all the things I'm doing here just barely put me over the tip of the water. And I feel a bit homesick. So, this might all be a moot point.

Anyway, I have to get to class. Peace!

Someone Else's Ear - By Stuart Davis

For three months in '92 when I was such a wreck
I spent endless evenings with my face draped against your neck
It hurt when I was empty and friends just turned away
It was you who chose to stay
And helped me heal, pieced me back into a whole
Now it's you who is aching and needs to be consoled
But can't you see I'm happy now?
I don't want to sit and watch you cry
I wish you'd keep it all inside
Yes you're in anguish, do you think that you're the first?
Since when am I indentured to be your private nurse?
Maybe this callousness is a form of love that I extend
Because I know if you face the hurt alone you'll be stronger in the end
So don't play off my conscience like I should wipe away your tears
Just let your burdens fall on someone else's ears
I don't know how long I can sit with you this time
The suffering in your live shrouds the joy in mine
So maybe you should just call me when this sadness finally ends
and you're ready to laugh again
Spare me the drama, do you think that you're the first?
Since when am I indentured to be your private nurse?
Sometimes detachment is the thing we need the most
And if you'd consider me you'd veil this pain you host
So don't play off my conscience like
I should help you through your fears
Just let your burdens fall on someone else's ears
Because tonight a hundred pretty people were waiting in a line
to wash away the guilt you gave me,
they said the concert was sublime
While you were shaking in some corner
with your spirit ripped in half
I was backstage fielding praise and signing autographs
So if you want my attention, you'd better join the crowd and cheer
And let your burdens fall on someone else's ears
For three months in '92 when I was such a wreck
I spent endless evenings with my face draped against your neck

Um...

I got nothing...

Saturday = Free Time

Hello everyone, although I'm starting to think that I'm just talking to myself, in which case I should stop talking to imaginary people... I guess that's a little neurotic.

Anyway, today's been a nice, productive, free day. Got a lot of my homework done. All I have left is a tiny bit of Bio (which will really just be rates and equilibrium from Chem) and some physics, which shouldn't be all that bad (except for one which looks like a real bitch). Well, according to Dave, everybody back at Chi is doing well. Except for the growth, but the growth is a annual occurence, so that's nothing new. I hope the growth heals well.

Been reading a book in the library called Sophie's World. It's a fictional review of the history philosophy. So, the philosophy is real, but the story isn't. Anway, it gives me something to do to pass the time, and it's really interesting. A good combination.

Gonna do laundry tomorrow. Uh oh!!! It should be pretty easy. I don't see it causing any trouble.

And then there's the trip to Kennywood!!! Yep, there's an amusement park out here called Kennywood. I figure it'll be something like Dorney Park from around us. It should be fun, plus it's a nice way to pass the time.

I survived the first week successfully. Now there's only four more to go.

Phew

And The End is Near...

Well, not really. Has everyone heard that Sandra Day O'Connor is stepping down from her position on the US Supreme Court? Well, she is. That means that she's going to be replaced with a Bush appointment. One of the possible people is Alberto Gonzalez. That scares me a little. He's the one that thought the Geneva Conventions were "quaint" and not necessary in times of war.

Enough of my political rants. Keep in my mind that I'm still working on getting over a bout of extreme liberalism brought on by the elections of last year. So, give me time.

Gov School is Gov School. Not much else to say about that.

Well, I'm off for now.

Have fun, everyone.

Bye