Free, Legal Music

Salon.com has a list of 20 best songs of 2005 from one of it's columns, AudioFile, and they're offering all the downloads from the year. For free.

I think that the music is mostly indie/alternative/techno sort of stuff, but even if that's not your thing, it's 20 free songs. Just download them, and see if you like them.

Oh, the article's here. Enjoy.

Score! Finally a Good Video Hosting Site!

Yay! I finally found a good video hosting site! It's called OurMedia. As far as I can tell, it lets you put an unlimitted amount of video. Very, very good.

To start off, I posted a video of me singing "Invincible" by Stuart Davis. It's funny to watch me screw up, if nothing else. Just click where it says link and enjoy. And just ignore all the "my other works." They're all mistakes made pre-me-understanding-the-site.

Well, it's now 1:18, so I guess I'll go to bed. But look what mine insomnia hath wrought!

Namaste

PS - Dude, I can totally put up any/all of the videos we've ever made now! Score.

Eh, Why Not!

Part of me is saying, "Hey, you don't have anything to post, so why do it?" Another part is saying, "But, why not? Just do it!" And yet another part is saying, "Om."

So, of course, I'm going to listen to that first one. :)

Not having a room can be annoying. Though it's just a tiny little obstacle that I'm letting get in the way of me doing things. Though I have finished the Bio and TFA (which, unfortunately, does not stand for That's Fucking Awesome), so I guess I'm not that far behind.

You know what else is a bitch? Having your brother threaten to burst into your room drunk and wake you up. Therefore why I can't sleep at night. It all makes sense now.

Tomorrow's New Year's Eve. Hells yeah. That means I can make some new New Year's resolutions that I'll never keep! Hope springs eternal.

Well, I feel like doing something crazy tomorrow. I don't know what. And it probably won't turn out to be "crazy" by the definition of most people. But for me, it will be! Huzzah!

PS - Man, I was a bitch this time last year. Like, certified, 100% Grade A male PMS. Just thought I'd apologize for my behavior. I didn't see it at the time, but thinking back on it, damn. It's a little late now, but, you know, new year, new leaf, yadda yadda yadda.

In the meantime, keep on keepin' on. Because that's how we roll.

Friday Without a Home

Well, I still don't have a room. And therefore, I find myself in the... I don't know what this room is called. It's the kitchen/dining/computer room. Heh, yeah, we're good at organizing our house along typical line... :)

Anyway, I'm sitting here at a computer that's not mine. I guess that was the point. And I find myself with a lot of energy and no place to channel it. So, I'll channel it here!

Um, hm. And now I can't think of anything to say. I guess it's because I have more of an urge to do. And I can't do much here.

Though I do have plenty to say, but ironically none of the topics would fit in this post. So, on that note, I guess I'll end this post.

Hah, what a silly post.

Namaste.

King Kong: Drama, Action, or Psychological Study?

I saw King Kong today. Pretty good movie. Lots of action and very little plot. But there's nothing wrong with that sort of movie every once in a while.

Anyway, my title is as it is because I found a certain aspect of the movie intriguing, namely the psychological part. If you don't know the basic plot, there's this girl and a really, really big gorilla. The girl has already fallen for this play writer, but she ends up falling for King Kong after he saves her from some t-rexes (I think, the whole movie's some sort of blur right now). The hero playwriter dude trys to "save" her from King Kong, and King Kong gets pissed off. When he finally gets the chick back, he acts all sorts of hurt and basically says (through body language), "Fuck you ho, I don't need you." But eventually he turns into the grabby crazy male that just won't let go. He alternates between these two states throughout the movie until he ends up killed by the awesome Americans.

Amazing, a case study into the male psyche rapped up in a seemingly banal action movie. This is definitely something I could write a newspaper article on: why guys, otherwise seemingly solid, strong dudes, turn to jell-o gelatin at the whim of a woman. It'd make for interesting research, at the least.

Well, that's all folks. Enjoy these last 5 days. And New Years is just two days away. Oh dear. Anyone have any plans. Otherwise, I'll be spending this New Years all alone. Not the end of the world. Not the beginning either.

Namaste.

Some More Good Poetry

Well, it's midnight, and I just gosh darn don't feel like going to sleep. And since it's break, I won't. :)

Looking through the website of my TA from Governor School, Dave Pickett, I came across some truly stunning poetry. His site is here, and the poem I like the best out of the one's I've read is this one.

It amazes me to think that he's only 3 years older than me. The span of time between my brother and I. And yet he seems to know so much more, to be so much more real, so much more authentic. Maybe it's because he's experienced so much more. I know a lot can happen in a year. Imagine in 3.

I just thought I'd share. I've been finding beauty in the most unlikely places this past year. For me, for some reason, it's often the twisted, uncomfortable, less than pleasant things that seem the most beautiful. Bright Eyes, Thumbsucker, Dave's poetry. It all just speaks to me.

But at the same time, I can't forget that I'm attracted to these types because of the love that they emanate. Even if it's broken love, they shine on.

And love has no opposite.

Beautiful.

Interesting Poem

"Desiderata" by Max Ehrmann

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Found this poem in a book I'm reading. It reminds me of "If" by Rudyard Kipling.

Good stuff.

Halfway: A Review

Well, this break turns out to be 12 days long. And we're currently at day 6. I've therefore concluded by careful deduction that break is halfway over. Shouts of applause. Thank you, thank you.

But seriously, this post is mainly to get some sort of idea of what I've done with the first half of break, and what I'm going to do with the rest of break. Let's begin with the former.

This is going to be a short list. I've gotten about 30 bio questions done from my take home quiz. I've got all but a small part of the calc done. I've read a whole bunch out of my Buddhism books. I've read a lot out of my biomimetics book. I've read a bunch out of a fictional book (because a healthy dose of fiction is always good) called Thumsucker. I've hung out more with family than I normally do. I celebrated Christmas with family and friends. And I've learned how to play a whole song on guitar (aw, yeah, kick ass Invincible).

That's about all the mentionable stuff. On the not worth mentioning (and yet I'm still going to mention) side, I made a MySpace (Sean made me do it in a drug induced stuppor!), listened to lots of music, randomly surfed the web, learned that changing eating habits is harder than it might seem, watched bunches of movies, and sat around wondering what I was doing. Hm, that list almost takes up more space than the "worth mentioning" one.

Anyway, what haven't I done? Read Things Fall Apart, The Stranger or any of the other numerous books I need to for AP English. I haven't finished my Bio or Calc. I haven't hung out with anyone. I haven't solved world hunger. I haven't cured cancer. Well, those last two are just a joke. :)

Well, that about raps up my little review. On further consideration, it would seem that I have accomplished more than I thought. At the same time, there are plenty of things I'd like to do over the next 6 days. And all this time, I feel like I'm treading water. Thank God for this feeling of unease.

I hope you've all enjoyed your six days so far. And may you enjoy your next 6.

Namaste.

More Biomimicry - Photosynthesis Mimics

Well, since my last article got such rave reviews, I figure I'll post on another one of the topics in Biomimicry, namely photosynthesis mimics.

Admittedly, photovoltaic cells have been around for a while now. And also admittedly, they haven't been doing all that much good. Mainly due to their inefficiency and high prices, I doubt that photovoltaics will be the energy wave of the future.

Plus, silicon isn't the way to go. If it were, evolution would have chosen it in the great "Natural Selection Game." But nature didn't. It chose carbon. So, therefore, if we're going to make a blueprint for the most energy efficient, cleanest, and coolest technology to run off of light, carbon is the winner.

Anyone who has Mr. Hagan for Biology knows that he talks to his plants (that's an in class joke. He's not really crazy, it's a figure of speech), and he's told us time and time again that if the plants could tell him how photosynthesis works (and I mean really works, not just how it happens), he'd be a very rich man. Well, scientists accross the world have been asking that very same question, and they've discovered extraordinary results.

For example, a team of scientists at Arizone State University have been working on setting up something similar to the Photosystems found in plants. So far, they've successfully mimicked the system with a pentad (a system made up of 5 proteins) that can nearly match the efficiency of plants. Another team of scientists, led by James Guillet at University of Toronto, have been working on how to get the energy into the system by mimicking the antenna-like objects found on the membranes of choroplast. He, too, has gotten the system to nature-like efficiency with a 95% absorption of light.

All of this is exciting by itself, but what makes it even more astounding are the applications. One of the most obvious is to make organic compounds from scratch, using only light and basic organic materials. If you could set up a mimicked photosystem and put it in the right sort of water based solution, there's not reason it couldn't put together many of the plastics we use today, without all the oil and toxic chemicals we're currently using. Nature has been making things for billions of years with just carbon, oxygen, hydrogen, and a few other elements. After thousands of years of industry, we're finally catching up.

Photo-mimicks could also produce hydrogen in a cheap, efficient, and clean manner. In the process of photosynthesis, hydrogen ions are naturally made due to electron holes in the sequence. Plants then use an enzyme, called (as always ever so originally) hydrogenase, to combine the ions and form hydrogen gas. This gas, once harvested, could easily power hydrogen fuel cells. Such fuel cells aren't quite in the affordable range today, but with further development, they're getting there. But once they do become affordable, the next problem to solve is the availability of cheap, easy to produce hyrdogen. With photosynthesis based technology, hydrogen could be made with just water, these photosynthesis sites, and some sunlight.

And of course, you could make little ATP powered enzymes that can go around doing jobs that are normally "up the sliding board."

All of this from a simple study of natural system.

Obviously, the application of most of these ideas are still in the development phase. The fact that Biomimicry was written in 1997, and few to none of these advancements have reached consumers, speaks to the difficulty inherent in this field. But considering the possibilites, especially in a world that's running out of petroleum, such difficulties seem more like a challenge than a curse. Since the dawn of civilization, we've only been burning in order to build; it's about time we learned from our neighors, the plants, about how to build, without the uneccesary steps inbetween.

Exciting. For me at least. I could definitely see this being a field I'd want to go into. But I haven't found any that are physics based yet. So far, they've all been biochem. Where's the biophysics?

Some Novel Ideas About Sustainability

I've been reading a book titled Biomimicry: Innovation Inspired by Nature. It's really a thrilling read, in that dorky, sciency sort of way. It presents several chapters on different ways that scientists look at and mimic nature. For example, there's a chapter on making energy directly from the sun, a la plants, and on making super strong materials similar to spider webbing, etc.

The first chapter in the book is about the idea of sustainable farming. Apparently, the way most "civilized" people have been farming for the past 10 000 years was / is rather wasteful. For example, the soil gets all sorts of wasted, since we only grow one crop at a time, and these crops tend to be annuals. At the same time, in modern times, agriculture has become dependent on the the petroleum and chemical industry for things like fertilizers, pesticides, and diesel.

The auther, and the Land Institute which she talks about, propose a different kind of agriculture, one based on how nature farms. Basically, they want to set up farming lands like prairies, one of the most efficient biological producers of all time. One of the key ideas is to use perennial plants in place of annuals, as may be found in nature. This gives the plants a head start each year, saving the soil. At the same time, using a mix of plants,similar to the mix found in prairies, farmers can eliminate the use of fertilizers (by using plants that naturally fertilize the soil), pesticides, etc. At the same time, such prairie farms, once started, require little to no maintenance, therefore eliminating the need for major diesel.

It's so simple, it's brilliant. It makes sense that we've now come full circle. From living in nature, to abusing nature, to sharing with nature. It has a beautiful symmetry to it.

Genuis.

And Merry Christmas everyone. Don't worry, I didn't forget!

And for Matt, Happy Birthday Jesus!

Merry Christmas (Eve)

Merry Christmas Eve, everyone! I hope you're all enjoying this holiday. I know I'm enjoying all the family time, the good food, the free time, and the, well, yes, the presents. :)

I hope you all have an equally great Christmas Day.

Namaste.

Funny Video! Mr. Rogers!

To show you how incredibly bored I was today, I decided to reload my Spanish Mr. Rogers onto my computer and transfer it to the interweb. Check it out.

I'm considering putting up other videos that have been made throughout the years. Though I should get peoples permission first. :)

Peace out. Tomorrow's Christmas Eve. And I feel drained.

Perfect vs. Normal (GodAIM, Part II)

I figure I'll make this a weekly feature. It seems to work that way. Anyway, onto the story...

SexyDaveDarmon: You there, God?

Godizzle: Well, that depends a great deal on your definition of "there," now doesn't it?

SexyDaveDarmon: Okay, okay. Point taken. Anyway, I want to get right down to something. Something that's been bothering me these past few days.

Godizzle: Go for it. I'm all God.

SexyDaveDarmon: Okay. So, there's this paradoxical (at least, I think it's a paradox and not a contradiction) that there's a relative world that... I don't know... emanates? from the absolute world?

Godizzle: Wow, big words. Does that make you feel smart? The big words?

SexyDaveDarmon: I'm sorry.

Godizzle: Why use such a wacked out vernacular when you could just use nice small works like "perfect" and "normal"?

SexyDaveDarmon: To be honest, I didn't think of it.

Godizzle: You didn't THINK OF IT? Big suprise...

SexyDaveDarmon: You know what God, I really don't need the

Godizzle: You don't need the what? Me breathing down your back? Messing with you? What?

SexyDaveDarmon: I'm sorry. My temper can get the best of me sometimes. It's just that

Godizzle: It's just that your temper got the best of you. Moving on.

SexyDaveDarmon: Okay. So, there's these two worlds, the perfect world, and the normal world. And somehow I'm supposed to reconcile these two worlds?

Godizzle: What's so irrecon -- not working -- about these two worlds?

SexyDaveDarmon: Well, the fact that one's perfect and the other one is, well, inherently not.

Godizzle: It's simple, really.

SexyDaveDarmon: Okay.

Godizzle: Oh, what, you want me to EXPLAIN it? Heh, I didn't say it was simple to explain.

SexyDaveDarmon: But you're GOD. If you can't explain it

Godizzle: Then noone can. Exactly.

SexyDaveDarmon: But that doesn't

Godizzle: Help you very much? Exactly!

SexyDaveDarmon: Okay, now your just showing off.

Godizzle: Exactly.

SexyDaveDarmon: And being a second rate comedian. Fine, I understand that you're not going to answer this one for me. Then how about one more simple question?

Godizzle: I have another 5 minutes. Go for it, yo.

SexyDaveDarmon: How come, how come, why. Damnit. Um, why do

Godizzle: Spit it OUT already.

SexyDaveDarmon: Fine. How come some people, I'm talking about myself right now, have such a problem accepting the fact that they're, well, only human?

Godizzle: ONLY human!!! Do you know how long I spent working on you! I mean, the first day, sure it was fine and then the second day was a peace of cake, and the

SexyDaveDarmon: God, I hate to tell you this, but you creating people is illegal in this state.

Godizzle: Well, of course, I meant through evolution. Jeese, won't give God a little poetic license? But anyway, you're human. And you're PERFECTLY human. You are exactly the way you should be. At this moment. At this time. Okay?

SexyDaveDarmon: Yeah, that makes sense. It's just, it really messes with my head sometimes. I try too hard to, you know, be "perfect."

Godizzle: Why don't you try to, you know, be "normal"?

SexyDaveDarmon: Good point. Well, it was nice talking to you again God. Have a Merry Christmas.

Godizzle: Uh, uh, uh. Happy Holidays!

SexyDaveDarmon: Only God. Tell Jesus I said Happy Birthday.

Godizzle: Will do. Now, where did I leave my remote...

(Godizzle signed off at 10:02 PM)

A Christmas Story

Today has been quite the Christmasy day. I suppose that is to be expected four days before Christmas. It's nice to see everyone scurrying about with their Santa Claus hats and their gift bags attempting to find all their friends strewn throughout the school. It's nice to see someone who just half a month previously seemed absolutely desolate go around with small bags of candy to share with his classmates. It's nice to see a teacher that we otherwise thinks hates us (hack,cough... Ms. Hanobeck... hack, cough) give us candy and wish us a happy holidays. It's nice to immerse oneself in the loving atmosphere, look past all the glittery consumerism, and see people dealing in love.

But somehow, there must be a way to deal in love beyond this holiday season. I'm merely speaking for myself, but love, speaking personally, seems to trickle off post Christmas, and then it's just this general underlying theme in my actions. Not that this is a bad thing. Just that the fire hydrant-esque stream of love just kind of seems to trickle to a nice sink-esque stream. Maybe that happens as not to break the plumbing?

Luckily, I have all my life to deal in this art. And I was granted this human life to deal in it, well, artfully. Because dealing in love is an art. Just as difficult and important as painting, playing a musical instrument, or learning how to dance. There's always a give and take between the artist and the art. Just like in life.

Luckily, also, I have friends that share this love with me. Whether its learning about Buddhism from Lama Surya Das or from the Dalai Lama, or catching a laugh from some silly people calling in from 911, I am certain to become more human, more alive from these gifts. And of course, if in all the bustle I forget what Christmas is about, all I need do is open The Story of Christmas to remember that "we give gifts on Christmas to show our love."

Amen.

David Dorman, eh?!

Hahaha. The CEO of AT&T is named David Dorman. I'm, like, almost famous!

Just thought that was funny enough to share.

Tata.

I started out writing this post as some sort of whiny complaint about myself. And then I realized something. You don't want to read that. I don't want to write that. And the world doesn't need that. And therefore, that won't happen.

Instead, I'll leave you with a poem.

Kindness in words creates confidence.
Kindness in thinking creates profundity.
Kindness in giving creates love. - Loa Tse

I hope everyone has a wonderful evening. Only one more day until Christmas Break!

:)

No Buddhism Here!

After a momentary burst of inspiration, I googled both "Buddhism Chichester" and "Buddhism Villanova." The first query resulted in tons of replies for Chichester, England, but none for Chicester, PA. The second query resulted in about 5 or so entries, all of which were indirectly related to either Buddhism or Villanova University.

And the conclusion: no Buddhism here. I guess it's not that much of a suprise. I mean, I wouldn't expect Southeastern PA to be some sort of stronghold of the Dharma. I guess that was just wishful thinking on my part.

Therefore, no joining of any sanghas anytime soon for me. Bummer.

Another option would be a self-formed sangha. But I know nowhere near enough about Buddhism, I'm nowhere near enlightened, and I have nowhere to house this "club." Though I do like the idea of a club based around some general precepts of philosophy, or even just responsible citizenship. I'll toss this around in my head / on this blog.

I guess I'll have Christian mysticism to look forward to at Villanova. I mean, St. Augstine is the patron saint of Villanova, and he was on of the greatest Christian mystics of all time.

Score.

Wooh! Villanova!

I checked the Villanova website, and I've been accepted!

Yay!

Now I can say I've been accepted somewhere. Score!

Check it out if you've applied there.

Later.

Are Humans Herbivores?

I found this interesting article on a site that I'm finding more and more useful: Are Humans Carnivores or Herbivores? It turns out that we're anatomically herbivores. Interesting.

I'm just finding more and more reasons to go vegan, or vegetarian at the least. Let me see if I can list them. First off, you all know my "level of complexity of the nervous system" theory. The nervous system of an organism more or less determines the amount of consciousness that organism exhibits. For example, a carrot has no nervous system, and therefore has little to no consciousness, as consciousness is classicly defined. A cow, however, has a rather complex nervous system, with both a reptilian and a mammalian brain. This puts them very close to us, except we have the benefit of the neo-mammalian brain. I'm not adding human characteristics to animals (anthropomorphizing them). It's a scientific fact that all mammals have at least a two part brain, and therefore they share many emotions with humans.

Or, to put it simply, a cow screams louder than a carrot when you kill one, therefore it's better to eat a carrot. :)

Then there's the whole herbivore thing. I mean, this is just one resource, so I don't really know how much I can rely on this guy. But really, that's just sort of the icing on the cake for me.

A third reason is the fact that cattle raising, at least in the industrialized, non-"organic" fashion most corporations employ, is very harmful to the environment and just plain inefficient. If you want to feed the world, you're not going to do it with beef. You're much better off with wheat and other plant-based foods.

Fourth reason? I honestly don't really like the taste of meat. I find that when I make a sandwich, that's the part I enjoy the least. I just sort of eat it out of custom. Which is really rather dumb.

I'm not saying that everyone should become a vegan or a vegetarian. I realize that humans have a long history of eating meat. In fact, some anthropologists attribute our large brains on our anscestors consumption of protein rich meat. I'm just saying that for me, in the the 21st century, eating meat doesn't make that much sense. It's sort of an argumentum ad antiquitum. "We've been doing it for forever, so keep doing it!" And that's not how I roll.

But I don't think there's anything wrong with killing animals, to a certain extent. That's how nature works. You don't find many vegetarians out there, at least by choices. You're not going to find a lion that eats lettuce, or a cheetah that eats brocoli. It's just not going to happen. Those animals do what they must to survive. I'm most certainly not going to second guess Nature. She's been around the block a few more times than me.

Now, all I have to do is figure out how to phase meat out of my diet. That'll be the fun part. :)... :(

Am I a crazy-liberal-pinko-pansy-treehugging hippie? Maybe. But it just makes sense to me.

Namaste.

(PS - Here's more stats on meat eating. Admittedly, it's from a place called AnimalSuffering.com. Don't know how reliable that is. I don't much like PETA, so if they're in any way related, phewy on them!)

Majority Politics

Well, actually, this post won't have anything to do with majority politics per se. It's about a little trip home that my mom and I took in which we got screwed over by the Man. Trying to pull onto Cherry Tree Road from that little side street that comes off of the Conchester, this small, angry man in a orange jacket told us rather bluntly that this was not an option. Well, more like demanded that we didn't in a voice reminiscent of all the angry old men in the world combined. "NO! GO THAT WAY! GO THAT WAY!"

Anyway, the reason he wouldn't let us through is because there was an accident on the Conchester near Cherry Tree road, and all the through traffic of the Conchester was being redirected through that little side street. Therefore, our desire to turn left and go home, on Cherry Tree Road, would have inconvienced all the Conchester drivers that would have had to stop to let us through.

In other words, the minority got screwed over because of the majority. I understand that this was the best way to keep the traffic moving. But still, the guy (read little gremlin creature) could have been a tad more... personable. Maybe it's just the liberal, non-conformist, stick-it-to-the-man attitude in me, but he pissed me off. Not so much that I'm still pissed off 10 minutes later. Just enough that I thought it worthy of a humorous post.

And now, I'll close my eyes, take a deep breath, and let all the negativity out.

Om. Mani. Padme. Hung.

Okay, I'm good now. :)

Namaste.

Passion

Well, since passion seems to be the topic of choice over at Dave's site, why not talk about it? Well, I was actually going to talk about it anyway, but now it just seems all the more appropriate.

I went to see Rent tonight, and it was amazing. Why? Because of the PASSION those people had in their lives. These are people living in New York City with next to no money, and yet they find a way to live life to its fullest. Half of them have AIDS, and still they find a way to love life. I realize it's a fictional story, but I have no doubt that there are many Marks, Collins, Mimis, and Maureens out living the life of these fictional characters.

While watching the movie, I was filled with passion. Even now, I can still very much feel the passion. But at the same time, I realize that this passion will soon enough leave me. Not that I don't feel passionate about life, and about many things in life. Just that this special kind of passion that I feel after watching / reading / hearing something inspiring leaves me too quickly. If I could just bottle this feeling, and keep the in-spiration for times of des-peration, then I'd have something.

But David, thou dost protest too much.

I hope you're all enjoying this lovely weekend. One more week (not even a full one) and then we get off for Christmas (not winter) break! Our last one as Chi students. Huzzah?!

Namaste.

Word of the Day: Gustatory

And the word of the day today is: gustatory.

Gustatory means "Of or relating to the sense of taste."

You might be wondering why I chose it as the word of the day? Mainly because I came across it completely independtly in two different locations on the same day. And as far as I know, gustatory isn't the most common word in the world.

I thought that was cool.

A Malaise that Passed (for Now)

About two hours ago, this major malaise set in over me. Not like I was really depressed or anything. Just that I really, honestly didn't feel like doing anything. Well, not really do nothing. I just didn't feel like creating. As of late, as I've said, I've been trying to create more and more through myself rather than just digesting the works of others. In the past two weeks or so, I've been randomly coming across quotes and passages, sometimes in school and sometimes at home, relating to this idea. And not with me looking for them. Weird.

But the point is/was that I just didn't feel like doing anything. And it's not like I was in some sort of pure state of being. No, more like I just felt like "bleh." Yep, that's the best way to state it.

I'm sure we've all felt that way before. This sense that we're just not doing anything with our life. And at the same time, a strong desire NOT to go about doing anything. It's a contradiction if I've ever seen one. Life is throwing us this giant signal saying, "Hey you, you're not happy doing what you're doing! Go do something else," and we telegraph back, "Sorry, I'm enjoying being miserable too much. Try again later." I've come across a definition of insanity as follows, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." If that's the definition of insanity, than I'm sorry to say that the majority of humanity is insane, myself included.

Luckily for me however, the malaise passed relatively quickly. I got out of the quagmire through some creative writing, something I find myself doing frequently as a means to make myself feel less, well, quagmirey. And amazingly, after I get out, I stay out for at least the rest of the day. Like, right now, honestly feel like doing something. I want to write this, and I want to work on other projects. And I don't feel the least bit lethargic or tired.

It's a funny thing, states. States like malaise/ecstasy, depression/joy, anger/love. They're all different sides of the same coin. And half the time all it takes to see that is to flip the coin over. Maybe I'm too much into New Age thought and the Self-Help Movement (though I'd like to think I've grown past that part of my development since 11th grade onward), but sometimes all it takes to get out of a slump is to change your mind.

Or at least, that's worked for me in the past few days. But no matter how much I improve in the intrapersonal, I'll still be lacking in the interpersonal areas. That's a bridge into another idea that I've been bouncing around that I might get to posting today. But anyway, my point is that I need you, people, because no man is an island, no matter how well I may learn to control my states. And I wouldn't want to lose people. Because if there's one thing I fear, it's a world with only me in it.

That's all for now. Enjoy your weekend. It's the first one I've had since God knows when that doesn't have any planned activities in it.

Namaste.

Godizzle is in the House (GodAIM, Part I)

I've come up with this great story idea. It goes something like this: what if you could find the screenname of God? What would he be like? How would he talk? Would he use emoticons? I present to you my interpretation of God via AIM, or GodAIM.

Important Note: This is semi-satirical and all in fun. I don't actually talk to God via AIM. And I most certainly don't claim to know God's thoughts, intentions, or use of emoticons. But I do think that this is an interesting exercise that at the same time is relatively funny (though if you disagree, feel free to comment and tell me my humor, well, sucks). And at the least, it allowed me to pump that creative muscle that is my mind.

And with that warning aside, so begins part one of The GodAIM Series.

SexyDaveDarmon: I'm going to throw this one out there. Are u there God?

Godizzle: Yo, yo, yo. This is Goddizle speaking. What's up with u?

SexyDaveDarmon: ROFL. I would have never expected God to have the screename "godizzle." I have to admit, that's rather charming. :)

Godizzle: Would you rather I have the name "TheMagnificentYahweh" or "TheIndefigitableAllah"? Would those names put you more at ease with societies views of me?

SexyDaveDarmon: No, no, no, not at all. Sorry. I don't really want to piss GOD off...

Godizzle: LOL. Chill out dude. Do you really think that you could piss me, all that is, was, and ever shall be, off? I mean, come on, one of you dudes totally gased millions of humans, a bunch of you went on shitty holy wars in MY name, and you think I'm going to get pissed off with you? No, sir. That, I will not do.

SexyDaveDarmon: Thanks, um, God. That's a little reassuring. I mean, that means I can totally go all out and be all sorts of honest with you?

Godizzle: Well, if you can't be honest with God, who CAN you be honest with. I mean, honestly.

SexyDaveDarmon: LOL. Who knew that God was a comedian...

Godizzle: Kid, when you have to deal with the s@#t I have to, it's a job requirement.

SexyDaveDarmon: Okay, okay, um, let me get back on topic. So, about how many people are you IMing with right now?

Godizzle: Right now? You mean, this infinite moment in the stream of infinite moments? About 6.5 billion people. Give or take a few 100 million.

SexyDaveDarmon: 6.5... damn, that's a lot of people. Wait, isn't that like, all the people that are alive today?

Godizzle: Give or take. I don't have the exact numbers. Jesus is getting back to me on that.

SexyDaveDarmon: You mean that...

Godizzle: Try not to take me so seriously. I think it might make this whole thing a lot easier on you. I mean, if you didn't take me seriously.

SexyDaveDarmon: Okay, don't take God literally. Well, if THAT isn't a novel idea.

Godizzle: Hey man, don't blame all that fundamentalist shit on ME. I can only work with the level of understanding that I'm presented with. Trust me, crazy tribal wars in the name of a volcano god are about 100% better than the all out brawls that were going on before that. Cave men = shitty community makers.

SexyDaveDarmon: Okay, okay, I'll try and cut GOD some slack. But, what do you mean you can only work with what you're given. I mean, you're freaking God, aren't you?

Godizzle: Oh, oh, oh, and now since I'm God, I'm supposed to be able to do everything. What do you think I am, some sort of thing that controls all things? No, you have it all wrong, I am in all things, and all things are in me.

SexyDaveDarmon: So, your more of a Brahman than a Yahweh?

Godizzle: Dude, do you think that those labels even begin to describe me? I mean, come on. Like I said before, I am all that is, all that was, and all that ever shall be. In addition to being all that ever wasn't. In other words, don't even try to describe me.

SexyDaveDarmon: Yeah, yeah, I know. But I'm trying to get a handle on this whole "God" idea, at least in terms of how we in the western world interpret you. I mean, on my side of the street (the west), most people still see you as a white bearded old man sitting up in the clouds a la Zeus. How close is that?

Godizzle: Haven't you guys been to the moon already? Did you find me in the clouds, on the moon, on Mars? No, I'm not some anthropocentric Zeus God. Though that is kind of insulting. If I could take on any form, what makes you think I'd take on the form of YOU. Humans aren't THE most attractive beings in all the Kosmos.

SexyDaveDarmon: LOL. Point taken. Okay, so your not like, Superman. Makes sense.

Godizzle: Ooh, look at how the time flys. I've got to catch the latest episode of Desperate Housewives...

SexyDaveDarmon: Wait, you mean you...

Godizzle: What'd I tell you about taking me seriously?

SexyDaveDarmon: Oh, right.

Godizzle: But I do love their suburban antics.

SexyDaveDarmon: But...

Godizzle: I'll talk to you later.

SexyDaveDarmon: Um, later... God.

Paradox

I haven't posted on anything more or less not "me" related in a while. So I figured I'd ruminate a bit on something interesting presented in class.

Sean did a presentation on paradox today that succeeded in removing some fog from my idea of what a "paradox" must be. Previous to this discussion, I always thought a paradox was something that contradicts itself. Turns out it's the opposite. A paradox is something that seems false, but in actuality is true. For example, the common aphorsim "sometimes you have to hurt someone to help him" seems false, but in most cases it can be true. (and now that I'm back from a ten minute excursion into the land of paradoces, let's continue)

In general, the apparent falsehood of a paradox disappears when it's viewed from a new vantage point. Makes me think of a quote by Einstein to the affect of, "No problem may be solved at the level of understanding which caused it." So, if you have a 5 year old child that doesn't understand that the same volume may have different heights / widths / lenghts(here, about half way down the page), you will come accross a seeming contradiction that resolves into a paradox. Though it SEEMS that the two containers couldn't possibly hold the same amount of water, they CAN. Simply because the level of understanding that formulated the problem can't solve it, this paradox becomes a contradiction. One that may only be solved by raising oneself to a new, higher level of understanding. Fascinating.

And therefore, the development of a person intellectually may be seen as a move to make more contradictions into paradoces. Or to move further from intuition to rationality. And then beyond. Because there's always a beyond.

One of my favorite paradoces is one stated by, you guessed it, Ken Wilber. He states that as you become "enlightened" (what a loaded word that is), the suffering of the world hurts you more but bothers you less. That seems to make no sense, from the unenlightened worldview that I inhabit. But he then goes on to explain that as you become enlightened, you feel the pain of each and every person as your own, as acutely as ever. But at the same time, you realize that this existence, this "reality" is just a dream. And you then have two options. Either you can go around in this dream and try and help ease people's suffering, ore you can just wake up and realize that it's all just a dream.

What a beautiful resolution to the paradox that is existentialism.

And once again, I serve as nothing more than a mouthpiece for one greater than myself. I really have to work on that. :)

Namaste.

David 2.0?

As of late, as I've alluded to in earlier posts, I've been trying to develop a more independent self, one divorced from all the "stuff" I accumulate, whether in a physical, mental, or spiritual sense. Mostly with a focus on the mental "stuff."

I've been trying, step by step, to be more creative, more original, more "me." Though, once again that very idea almost slips into a type of narcissism. The type of narcissism that leads a person to leave his wife and children in order to "find himself." Where is he going to find himself? Out there? Somewhere else? That assumes that the Self could have been lost. And let me tell you, It can't. The Self is all there really is. But maybe this "finding of oneself," this becoming more authentic allows for one to be a better part of the world. As the saying goes, you must first love yourself before you can love someone else.

I guess this is the beginning of a new phase in my evolution as a human being. But I think that's a little overly grandiose. I don't think that I'm really making all that large a shift. This isn't a revolution in my thinking, in my acting, in my being. It's nothing but a slight shift, only ever so perceptible, towards a more autonomous me, at least when it comes to information. A shift from less of a desire to engulf as much information as to slowly chew, taste, and savor ever bit(e) of it. That's a little countercultural in this day and age, and I realize that I'm just adding to the noise with this blog (which is rather ironic, actually), but I think it's the next step in this journey called life. For me, anyway.

And maybe, just maybe, this slight shift in changing the way I learn about the world will bleed over to how I feel about the world. Maybe, just maybe, I'll begin to feel a passion for living, for all parts of living, that I haven't felt. For as long as I remember. Not that I don't love life. I savor every moment of it. But passion for it, that's a fleeting emotion at best.

"You are the light of the world," said a wise man once. And I say let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.

Infinity

Infinity

How lame it is to try and tame
infinity, in all its glory

we limit it to really really big
infinitely big
we say

and there are different sized infinities
this one bigger, this one smaller

and how dumb to try and
quantify an eternity

a really really long time
neverending
we say

but who wants to live in a really really
big universe
for a really really
long time?

Isn't infinity the absence of quantity
and eternity the absence of time

outside of quantity, outside of time
that is where infinity and eternity roam

not this, not that

neti, neti

and in this new world,
boundless
borderless

we live

in infinity
for eternity

High Society Comes to a Close

Well, that play that I was ever so worried about is now over. Just to show you that half the time, when you worry yourself dizzy about something, it turns out to be not that much of a problem after all.

And now I have a lot of time on my hands. With time off from Hi-Q, concert band coming to a close, and Science Olympiad never practicing for any of my events, I have very little other-planned things to do. Which just gives me more freedom to do what I want. Which I suppose is a blessing, as well as a curse.

Though, I think I know what I'll do. I'll do some more creative writing, maybe learn some discrete math, philosophize more, and learn guitar. That's quite a plate full of activities. Oh, and I'll try to, you know, go out into the real world with people. Sometime.

This has been quite the three day weekend. We really should have these more often.

Well, I don't have much more to say, so, I guess I'll say good bye.

Namaste.

Yet Another Great Switchfoot Song

Chem 6a by Switchfoot

Nothing but a chemical in my head
It's nothing but laziness
Cause I don't wanna read the book
I'll watch the movie
Cause it's not me
I'm just like everybody else my age

I think I'd rather play around
And I think I'd rather watch TV
Cause I don't wanna face my fears
I'll watch the movie
Cause it's not me
I'm just like everybody else
I'm just like everybody else

Because I don't wanna be here
I don't wanna see this now
It's all wrong but it's alright
And I don't wanna be here
And I don't wanna study now
It's all wrong but it's alright

I don't know what love is
I don't know who I am
And if I ever want to find out
I'll watch the movie
Cause it's not me
I'm just like everybody else my age

I don't wanna change the world
And I don't wanna be someone
I don't wanna write the book
I'll make the movie
Cause it's not me
I'm just like everybody else
I'm just like everybody else

I don't wanna be here
I don't wanna see this now
It's all wrong but it's alright
And I don't wanna be here
And I don't wanna study now
It's all wrong but it's alright

A Discussion with My Self

And here's the first creative piece to be posted since my epiphany about production / consumption. Enjoy.

"A Discussion with My Self" by David Darmon

[The scene opens in a small room on the second story of an even smaller building. A young man, about 20, sits alone, cross-legged on a pillow. His eyes are closed, and he seems to be breathing slowly. By all appearances, he's at peace.]

Young Man: [quickly opening his eyes, in an agitated voice] God damnit. This never seems to work. No matter how many times I do this shit, it never works. [falling to his back] Someday, man. Someday. [he mutters to himself for a few seconds]

[As he gets up to retrieve his computer, he notices someone standing in the shadows in the corner of his room. The man in the shadows is just barely visible. Darkness obscures his features. Taken aback, the young man slowly walks towards the corner, nerves on edge.]

Young Man: [grabbing at the person in the shadows] Who the hell are you?! What the hell are you doing in my apartment?!

Stranger: [completely relaxed and at peace] Who am I? I am that I am.

Young Man: [even more perturbed by the smart remark] Yeah, that's real great asshole, but how about you tell me your real name. Okay? Or else you're going to get hurt. And I mean bad.

Stranger: [smiling] Call me Ishmael.

Young Man: [turning red in the face] Okay, now you're going to get it!

[As the young man swings at the intruder, the intruder dissolves into a cloud of smoke. Seconds later, he reforms, still smiling and at peace.]

Stranger: Why do you strike so hard? Why do you try to hurt me? Why are you so mad?

Young Man: [breathless] Why the fuck do you ask so many questions?

Stranger: [Taken aback] Why do I ask so many question? Why, because it's what I do. Do you ask why a fish swims, or why a bird flys? No, it is simply the nature of those things.

Young Man: [The question diffuses the anger in the young man. He begins to cool. Interested] Okay, I can see this line of questioning isn't going to go very far. Let's try something else. Why are you here? Why did you break into my...

Stranger: [Interupting] I can be nowhere other than where I am. Wherever I go, there I am. And I did not break into "your" anything. Nothing that is yours is not already mine. I am part and parcel to you.

Young Man: [confused] Okay, dude, what the hell are you saying. You sound just like all the crappy koans that I have to read in my shitty Eastern Religious Studies clsses. Heh, maybe you can riddle me this. What's the sound of one hand clapping?

[Suddenly both the young man and the stranger dissappear. In their place, the entire universe spans before them. It's almost as if the entire history of the universe, all 13 billion years of it, occurs before "them" in a single second. Nothing is said, nothing is seen, and yet everything is seen. Just as fast as they dissappeared, the young man and the stranger reappear]

Young Man: Woah! What WAS that?

Stranger: THAT was the sound of one hand clapping. You are that. I am that.

Young Man: Dude, I don't know what's going on here. I don't know who you are. I don't...

Stranger: [interupting again] Then you are already halfway down the path. And the path that may be spoken of is not the true path.

Young Man: Okay, dude, if you don't stop talking in riddles... Just, just. I don't know.

Stranger: [his grin becoming ever wider] I don't speak in riddles. I don't talk in rhymes.

Young Man: I'll ask you one more time. And that's it. Who. Are. You.

Stranger: And I will answer again, as I have answered for eons before and will answer for eons after. I am that. I am you. I am your original face.

[Stepping out from the shadows, the stranger's identity is discovered. He is the young man.]

Young Man: Wait, wait, wait. [falling to the floor] How? Who? What? Why?

[The stranger dissolves into mist, and then the scene fades to that of the young man, sitting on the pillow, peace on his face. A smile breaks accross his lips. He opens his eyes and rises.]

A Lesson From Ecology

Disclaimer: To be honest, I know next to nothing about ecology, but I'm going to take my idea and run with it.

In ecology, there are two types of living systems in the ecosystem. The first are producers. These include plants, fungi, bacteria, and any other creature that produces directly from the sun. The second type are consumers. They basically eat the producers. And if all goes well, this system of producing and consuming creates some sort of dynamic equilibrium that yields, well, a healthy ecosystem.

This idea relates to a problem I've been having as of late. I won't rehash the problem that may be found here, but I will restate the main point: namely, that I'm consuming information like a glutton, and doing nothing on the production end. So, I'm being a major consumer, but not a producer. And for me at least, I feel intellectually / creatively constipated. Hm, yes, that's a good metaphor because it literally feels like I'm eating and eating and eating and unable to poop. But poop in this case meaning creating a meaningful product of my own. Hm, maybe not the best metaphor. :)

A better metaphor may have to do with food and exercise. Yes, if you eat healthy food, you'll be relatively healthy. But you'll also get none of the benefits of exercise. Same thing if you exercise but don't eat healthy. The best combination would be to do both. To eat well and exercise.

And that's what I'm going to attempt with information. To not only read but also write. To not just consume, but also produce. Hopefully this give and take, this dynamic sort of equilibrium will allow me to feel less, back to the bad metaphor, intellectually constipated. And less creatively drained.

And all that verbiage basically to say that I'm probably going to be posting more creative (and the occasional analytical) writing on this blog. Just as a way to get my intellectual exercise in. So that I don't get all mentally sedentary.

Oh, and I got all these ideas from a nice little book that Ms. Hanobeck lent to me solely for the purpose of getting a definition. And yet I found in it a much deeper idea of conversational reading and writing. Isn't synchronicity great?

Namaste.

Good Luck, District Band-ists

Good luck to everyone trying out for District Band. The only advice I can give (from my infinite wisdom) is to relax. You've already prepared as much as you'll be able to. Just let the music play itself.

Do good. :)

"Books are the best of things, well used; abused, among the worst... They are for nothing but to inspire." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Walt, you contain enough, why don't you let it out then?" -- Walt Whitman

Your equipment DOES NOT affect the quality of your image. The less time and effort you spend worrying about your equipment the more time and effort you can spend creating great images. The right equipment just makes it easier, faster or more convenient for you to get the results you need.

-- Ken Rockwell, Your Camera Does Not Matter, 2005

Snow Day

Well, and so it is. The boon of every students existence: a snow day!

Thank the snow gods because I totally wasn't ready for a bio test.

But so far I've spent an hour splurging over the interweb because I haven't been able to be online all this week. And now my head hurts. Major information overload. And I don't really think I learned anything. Lesson learned? Probably not.

I really will have to get outside sometime today. I mean, there's snow out there. :)

Namaste.

Hi Q Team Rocks Even More

Sorry that I haven't been posting a lot recently. As most of you know, I've been busy with this gig I'm doing in a pit band for Chestnut Hill Academy. Fun stuff. Well, not especially. But I'm getting paid for it.

Anyway, this post is a major congrats to the Hi-Q team of the 2005-2006 Season. Why? Because we're kick ass! I mean, this year's season started a month earlier than usual, and we went up against Penncrest, and yet we came out on top with a 56. Major props to Part I and everyone on Part II minus me. :) I didn't really do that much. Unless you consider NATO and graphite to be major accomplishments.

And now we can all look forward to a nice week off from major studiage. Thank God.

And a shaved Mr. Cole. Hehehe. I have to admit, I'm a little scared.

I hope you enjoy your evening. And I hope that the snow gods, in their infinite wisdom, decide that tomorrow would be a good day to cover the roads in their beautiful white... well, whatever the snow gods use to cover the roads.

:)

Namaste

Quotes of Today:

"Carbon has many allotropes, one of which is diamond. Name a second type, which is found in pencils."

"It's a coffin. A... rat coffin."

Snow Beauty Christmas

NOTE: This is really from last night, but it didn't post. Therefore, I'm posting it now. Enjoy.

I was out for a walk an hour ago. And I must say, snow at night is truly beautiful. The way the light of passing cars illuminates all the snowflakes, it's breathtaking. I'm not one for nature beauty rants, but go out and look sometime. Trust me.

While speaking of beauty, I've come to a sort of resolution involving Christmas and how I, too, can see it's beauty.

We all know how I feel about Christmas. Happy Gift Giving Day, anyone?

But after seeing several signs to the tune of "Put Christ back in Christmas" I've realized something. For me, it's the exact opposite solution that would resolve this. Not to offend anyone, but hasn't Christ already been taken out of Christmas? It's a pretty well-regarded fact that Jesus was not born on December 25th, let alone in the winter¹. Therefore, the religious element of Christmas, the part that I've been fighting for since I started my angry "gift giving day" satire, has not ground to stand on.

Then there's the general movement of Christmas away from being a religious holiday at all. I would call this consumerism run wild. Christmas, in a way, has become a gimic for the advancement of business. The liberals want to destroy Christmas? Give me a break.

And yet, there's something truly, simply beautiful about Christmas. Whether it's the weather (wow, great pun...), the general spirit, or the return to a sort of childish (in a good way) joy, Christmas can truly bring out the best in us. There's no doubt it's a beautiful time of year, a time of year that has been celebrated by humans since time memorial. Since far before the "birth" of Christ.

And I have to admit, when I see some of my classmates brimming with joy at the Christmas season and I introspect on myself being a, well, scrooge, I wonder if I'm missing something. And now I think I know what it is/was that I am/was missing: this general spirit of love. That's all that Christmas is really about. Strip away the religion and the consumerism, and what you have is the very heart of Christmas: love.

I can live with that. In fact, I can be god damn merry about that! :)

¹ "Based on the accounts in the gospels of the shepherds' activities, the time of year depicted for Jesus' birth could be spring or summer. However, as early as 354, Roman Christians celebrated it following the December solstice in an attempt to replace the Roman pagan festival of Saturnalia." -- wikipedia.com

Eighth Grade Jazz Concert

And you get it a day early! Here's the jazz band from our eighth grade year. Ah, the nostalgia.

Namaste.

The "Us Vs. Them" Mentality

I think I've figured out, at least partially, why I have been feeling all sorts of tension at school. It's not all that amazing a discovery. It's basically plain to see. But for me, at least, it was like I was looking at one of those magic eye pictures, and suddenly the 3D picture popped out.

The situations I see manifesting at school are all some form of the "us vs. them" mentality (UVTM). The idea that there is some group I'm in (the "us") and its fighting / disagreeing / competing with some group that I'm not in (the "them"). There are tons of these UVT situations taking place. But I'll just tackle one of them, the one that is probably bothering me the most.

As of late, you can hear me saying in school, jokingly, "I think all of the teachers hate me..." Of course I don't think that the teachers actually hate me. But in the past two weeks or so, I really have been feeling a building tension between "us" (the students) and "them" (the teachers). Actually, this hasn't been going on for only the past two weeks, it's almost been going on since the beginning of the year. It's just that now, it seems to be more present, with more teachers involved.

For example, all but one of my teachers (Ms. Shulman, who isn't really my teacher in the literal sense) have complained about all the school I, and others, have been missing. I can understand their case: we should be in school, learning. And then there is their "agenda": we should be in school, learning, so that they can get more 5s to their name on AP tests. But then I have my case: you don't have to be in school in order to "learn." As I've said, and heard others say, I often learn far more when I'm not in school. And, to be honest and blunt, school is incredibly boring. It, at least public school, is not designed for the upper quarter, or even the upper half, of the student body. I feel this way, and I think that many of my peers feel the same way.

Then there are the threats and / or insults. Teachers threatening us for leaving the school to go on academic trips / events seems incredibly contradictory. And then when we are told that programs like ESP are a waste of resources, what purpose does that statement serve? I don't think that very many of the teachers even know what ESP is about. I mean, it's only been around for a little over a year at the high school. And yet I'm being told it's a waste of time. Why?

And that's just the student / teacher manifestation of the UVTM. And I personally really dislike conflict. Not in the "I want everyone to think the same way as I do" totalitarian sort of way, but in the "wow, can't we reach some common ground and talk through this" democratic sort of way. Hah, I just realized this is the exact same thing going on in politics: the UVTM of Democrats vs. Republicans, red states vs. blue states. And I for one feel incredibly uncomfortable in such an environment.

I suppose the only way to resolve this is to take the "us" and the "them" and turn these two into a "we." And the only way to do that is to not retreat from the situation, as I would so like to, but to go forward in understanding and compassion.

Wow, and I think I'm going to be involved in civics in some way when I'm an adult? How will I deal with the "them" that disagrees with me then when I can't even deal with the "them" that only wants what they believe is the best thing for me now?

This certainly gives me something to chew on.

Namaste.

Random Poem

Random Poem

The words won't flow
and the thoughts won't come
and nothing's right
and nothing's wrong

Shakespeare, he's a crook
and Frost a liar
Blake's a fraud
and Thoreau a charlatan

Nobody can take credit
for what the spirit does
and it's all just a wisp
a reflection of the divine

How can we take credit
for that which we didn't
do in the first place
in the last place

We're all in this creation game
together, working in this game
half of us won't wake up,
and the other half never went to sleep

What a game we play, lying
Cheating, stealing
Loving, giving
Healing

What a game we play

Interesting and Mildly Amusing

Came across this article. Check it out.

Yeah, it's dorky. But mildly interesting / amusing.

Namaste.

Narcissism, Polemicism, Ass-Holism, Hermitism, and Other Isms

This post comes as an apology, a wake-up call, and an informative essay all in one. Exciting, huh?

Today, I was arguing about some completely moot point, and I realised later that such argumentation was really, really dumb. Especially considering I disagreed with the idea that I was arguing for. I just argued for the sake of argument. Just to be argumentative. And that's rather silly, now, isn't it? And way too many uses of the root "argument-".

Though it's been a year since anyone has called me an asshole directly, I feel like I've been rather ass-holish lately. Perhaps I'm being hyper-sensitive to my actions / the actions of others. Or perhaps I really have been an asshole. Either way, I feel "bad" (in the sense that I don't want to be an asshole) about it.

So, that covers the polemicism and assholism front. Now for hermitism. Yeah, I don't really see that as much of a problem. I just needed another -ism word. :)

And now for narcissism. I was thinking that it must be a fine line between introspection and narcissism. And I've probably crossed that line. What's the difference between thinking, 'I'm the center of the universe,' [narcissism] and thinking, 'I should know myself better as to better serve the universe' [introspection]? In fact, is there even a line there? Or are they one and the same?

I guess that's just another question I'll have to answer. For myself. Through introspection. A vicious cycle, isn't it? :)

PS -- Measure for Measure kicked serious ass. It was like Austin Powers, but set in Vienna. Sweet.