Addicted to Information?

Last night, I was reading of Sex, Ecology, and Spirituality, and I came across lots of interesting topics, namely mysticism from the classical world (like the works of Plato, Plotinus, St. Augustine, Meister Eckhart, etc.). I proceeded to go onto Amazon and look up these books. I put them on my ever burgeoning wish list which now contains 95 books I "want" to read, spanning from September 2004. And then I got this strange, giddy elation. As if the information in these books would somehow open worlds to me. Almost, dare I say, a "high."

Today, I went online and went through my usual "Integral" websites, a number of which may be found on the side panel of Generation Sit under the title "blogroll." I read through all the entries, then went to Salon.com, Slate.com, and Wired.com. I browsed through my e-mails (33 today), at least 10 of which are inspirational quotes, religious excerpts, and motivational information. I then went to Integral Naked and watched the latest videos, with plans of listening to the latest audio offerings sometime soon.

Over break, I read through several books, ranging from general philosophy (The Simple Feeling of Being) to motivational / "self-help" texts(The Seven Habits).

What's my point? Why'd I just drag you through a dull day or so in the life of me? I'm going to put this out there. And you can take it or leave it. But I think I'm addicted to information. In a bad way.

I'm not trying to be a Luddite or anything. The web is an amazing resource. A stunningly great way to be in the know, to help humanity, to spread good, truth, and beauty. But for me personally, is it acting as some sort of drug? I wonder if the future of humanity is to be found in this aether (word to the Old School spelling!), this land that doesn't even exist. Is this (the internet) all there is?

And what happens when I try to find out if "This is all there is"? When I'm not chasing after relative information, what's my next choice? No matter how corny it sounds, there's only one way to put it: "enlightenment." In a way, my journey is just a glorified search for information. The Information that Spawns all Information. The unwrittable writer. The Big E.

Is all this searching getting in my way? All this philosophy, thinking, reading? What has it accomplished? Here. Now.

Sometimes I feel like its all just a big joke. I guess it's better to be trapped into wanting information, rather than drugs, sex, thrills, or any of the other things people became sucked into. I guess.

But it does seem to be getting in the way of my life; in the way of me being a teenager. You know, shouldn't I be driving like an idiot, making out with chicks, and drinking? Isn't that what this part of my life is for? ;)

Or more importantly, is it getting in the way of me being useful to the world? If I'm always the Consumer, then I'm never the Producer. If all I ever do is read, listen, and sit silently, what have I added to the world at large? What part of the suffering have I relieved? How have I made this world, the only one I have, better?

Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ didn't deal with these issues until his mid thirties. Same with the Buddha. I guess that's what I pay for living in this world of Instant Messaging, Instant Meals, and Instant Gratification in general.

Mabye I should go on a fast. An information fast. Go without any interweb, books, television, music or anything outside myself for a week. Maybe that'll help me figure this out. Or maybe I'll go crazy in the process.

Yeah, maybe.