David 2.0?

As of late, as I've alluded to in earlier posts, I've been trying to develop a more independent self, one divorced from all the "stuff" I accumulate, whether in a physical, mental, or spiritual sense. Mostly with a focus on the mental "stuff."

I've been trying, step by step, to be more creative, more original, more "me." Though, once again that very idea almost slips into a type of narcissism. The type of narcissism that leads a person to leave his wife and children in order to "find himself." Where is he going to find himself? Out there? Somewhere else? That assumes that the Self could have been lost. And let me tell you, It can't. The Self is all there really is. But maybe this "finding of oneself," this becoming more authentic allows for one to be a better part of the world. As the saying goes, you must first love yourself before you can love someone else.

I guess this is the beginning of a new phase in my evolution as a human being. But I think that's a little overly grandiose. I don't think that I'm really making all that large a shift. This isn't a revolution in my thinking, in my acting, in my being. It's nothing but a slight shift, only ever so perceptible, towards a more autonomous me, at least when it comes to information. A shift from less of a desire to engulf as much information as to slowly chew, taste, and savor ever bit(e) of it. That's a little countercultural in this day and age, and I realize that I'm just adding to the noise with this blog (which is rather ironic, actually), but I think it's the next step in this journey called life. For me, anyway.

And maybe, just maybe, this slight shift in changing the way I learn about the world will bleed over to how I feel about the world. Maybe, just maybe, I'll begin to feel a passion for living, for all parts of living, that I haven't felt. For as long as I remember. Not that I don't love life. I savor every moment of it. But passion for it, that's a fleeting emotion at best.

"You are the light of the world," said a wise man once. And I say let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.