Warning: This is a very long winded explanation of why I thought I should be able to meditate at a graduation party. I doubt anyone will find this interesting unless (a) they were at the party or (b) they have ever tried to meditate at a social gathering. Read on at your own risk (of boredom).
As I sit here at a graduation party, I realize a strange phenomena of our culture (or maybe even our species). In our society, we don't allow a person to be truly with themselves while in an area with multiple people.
Let me explain. As I'm here, I am having a great time, and yet people do not understand this. I experience a "good time" in a different way than some (okay, most) people. For a while, I attributed this to being an "introvert." I figured introversion was some sort of disease, as if being with oneself isn't okay. I realize that at one time I did make introversion into a social phobia, but I've grown past that. I now feel (more or less) equally comfortable in either an introverted or extroverted setting. Yet, on average, I still prefer "introverted" activities (discussions, writing, meditation, etc.) to extroverted activities (gossiping, small talk, dancing, etc.)
Now for my example. As today's graduation party neared a close, I decided I'd like to take a break and meditate for the remaining fifteen minutes or so. However, a good friend (who I am in no way mad at [really]) came over to inform me that the host of the party might be offended by my behavior. I understood this, and stopped meditating out of courtesy. However, I'd like to offer an "apologia" (that's not an apology; it's like Plato's "apologia", an explanation) of my behavior.
I find it interesting that most people associate meditation with zoning out, being in a bubble, and "contemplating the navel." Maybe I can dispel this myth. Meditation (at least vipassana, the type I was practicing) means becoming more alive, getting more in touch with reality. It involves noticing every sensation, every sight, sound and smell, fresh, as they arise. If that's zoning out, then I'm a bike rider. Anyway, for some reason, we find it socially acceptable for people to look around and be zoned out, yet when I try to sit down in indian style and meditate, it is seen as odd. Zoning out is passive acquiescence to boredom; meditation is full acceptance and passionate embrace of the present moment. Yet society smiles upon the former while cursing the latter. Go figure.
PS - Okay, after thinking about the situation a little further, I realize that maybe I am wrong about thinking my behavior should be socially acceptable. Some reasons why it's not: (a) it was a party and I went, therefore I signed a (invisible) contract saying that I'd participate. (b) this is America, home of the none meditators (I can't assume that people will understand where I'm coming from when I meditate, if they've never tried it themselves). (c) Some people may see my behavior as an attempt to get attention. In sooth, I did do that a lot last year to get attention (I was a sorry bastard last year). I don't do that anymore. This year, if I'm meditating, I'm doing it because I need a break from extroversion. I need to introspect. (d) I'm in a minority of one. No one else is exactly like me, therefore I should not say, "Well, if they don't understand me, tough shit! That's there problem." That would be pure narcissism cloaked in monk's clothing. (e) People really can't read my emotions. I don't emote very much, so I guess that throws off people's "emotion-dar." I'm happy most of the time, though I don't tend to show it.
To conclude, I'd like to apologize to anyone that I offended. I hope I didn't dampen anyone's good time. I did have a great time. I might have even danced if a certain hetero-life partner wasn't so vehement against me doing so. I just hope that you can understand my point of view. I've tried to articulate it as lucidly as possible.
I hope you have a pleasant evening. I also hope that you have a great weekend.
And remember, when you see that kid at the party sitting cross-legged with his hands on his lap, he's not bored or upset. He's experiencing life to its fullest. In his own way.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
I kinda didn't really have that much fun. But what I was saying was that if you get invited to a party, its kind of an unwritten expectation to be socially active and contribute to the fun rather than to "hog" the fun for yourself. It might sound dumb, but its part of the deal of getting invited.
If you want to hang out at my house tomorrow, you can. Call me, I'll be at work.
Post a Comment