Waiting to Exhale

Wow, today's been a whirlwind of a day. It feels like it was just noon.

Anyway, I've been thinking a lot. Well, thinking about how much I should not be thinking. I finished a book over the weekend entitled Blue Jean Buddha. It's a compilation of life stories from some 25 odd young Buddhists (aged 20 to 30, approximately). Needless to say, I was inspired by their selflessness, their care, and their passion (I highly recommend the book, if your Buddhist or not).

Then I came across Brian Johnson, Zaadz, and thinkarete, and was FURTHER inspired. The group of people involved in Zaadz and thinkarete really want to change the world, hardcore, and for the better. What they're capable of doing, while still being happier, healthier, and cooler than the majority of the United States population just dazzles me.

And then I look at my life here, and it all seems so very insignificant. What the heck am I doing for this global revolution? It's like it's 1776, the British are here, and I'm sitting on my butt in Florida somewhere, thinking about how much I'd love to fight for the colonies independence, but only THINKING about it. I want to do something, something right here and right now, to get involved.

I'd like to do it within some sort of community because to be honest, I've been doing this sort of thing solo on and off for the past three years. Though I realize that Dave has a point, noone wants to join me on my "nerdquest." I guess these things don't really interest most people my age, and that's cool. Different strokes for different furthers. I just wish I wasn't painting abstract while everyone else is doing awesome realism. Sigh.

Brian Johnson suggests that to "thinkarete," I must simply find what I love and do more of it. After taking that suggestion to heart, I discovered my passion is to think creatively to solve problems. Whether it's a Calculus problem or a life problem, I just love to find solutions via whatever tools I have, and often discover new tools in the process (wow, if that doesn't completely explain...). Unfortunately, I haven't really tapped this passion in anything other than school. Yeah, great, I do well in school. Unfortunately, school is only 20% of my life. When will all the inspiration lead to something? When will I start to solve the problems that really matter?

Inspiration, the thing that Brian, Zaadz, thinkarete, Integral, and Buddism give me, is Greek for "to breath in." Breathing in is great. All the oxygen flows into my lungs, floats through my blood, and pumps through my body, giving me life. The oxygen literally burns to fuel me. I'm "inspired."

And yet, I need to expire sometime. Breathing is a cycle. If I only inhaled, well, I'd die. The exhalation is just as important as the inpiration. So, that means exhalation is like exaltation, the state of creating, of bringing forth. Inhale, exhale. Inpsiration, exhalation. Yin, yang.

Balancing the opposites is the trick.

I guess that balancing act will have to be what I'm doing for this movement, this cultural revolution. God, this shit is hott. :)

Namaste.