A Thought

I was in Mrs. Neeson's room today. And I realized that I really have no honest idea what I want to do with my life. I mean, I say (half-joking, but mostly seriously) that I want to go into the Peace Corps when I graduate. I say that I'm going to go into Science. Alternative energy sources, of course. I say that I want to change the world.

But half of the things I say I want to do are just pipe dreams. Things I concocted during random spurts of inspiration. And the other half are mostly pre-ordained plans that I had little to do with planning. Not that anyone forced them on me or anything. They just seemed like givens in this world.

And this leaves me in quite a predicament. If I strip away the pipe dreams and the pre-given plans, I'm left with no plans for the future. None. Other than the most basic of: graduate from high school; go to college; go into the real world; make some sort of living; die. But the details are missing. And you know what? Life is in the details.

So, I guess I really should sit down sometime and figure this all out. Not like that should keep you up at night or anything. It's my problem. You all have your own lives to figure out.

This leaves me thinking of an article I read in Scientific American. The gist of it is that some choice is good, but at some point, you get diminishing, and eventually negative, returns. And I find that to be a problem for me. I see all the possibilities out there, and I don't want to choose just one. I could be a scientist. But wait, I could major in Poli. Sci. Or no, maybe I could just go to Africa and work to help peace a country back together. Or maybe write a book?

And under all this weight, I feel, well, crushed.

All the more reason to sit down and plan it out. Nothing quite like rushing down a river without a map. Especially when the river is traveling about 10x faster than I could ever possibly swim.

And back to reality. Life's good. School's good. I don't feel all that adultish. But that's cool too.

Enjoy life.