Non-Philosophy Post (Woo Hoo!)

I'm going to take the day off from philosophy and instead tell a funny story with a good point.

Last week in AP English, Ms. Hanobeck was teaching us about William Shakespeare's sonnets. As she went through the different numbers and what they related to, she came to the last few, numbers 127 through 152, which are about a "Dark Lady." Then this dialogue ensued:

Hanobeck: Some people say that the Dark Lady is African American. Or, I guess she'd be African English? Hm, I don't know the right to say what she is...

Me: (rolling eyes) Black, maybe?

Hanobeck: (gives evil look)

Yeah, if there's one thing I can't stand, it's someone that is overly PC (politically correct). In Japan, they have a word for the process of being PC: kotobagari. So I say, don't be a kotobagarist! Being PC doesn't make you a better person and using euphemisms instead of real words doesn't make the world a better place. If you're going to be compassionate, don't be idiotically compassionate.

And now I'm done with my rant. I hope that you at least got a chuckle out of it.

PS -- Hm, maybe this is why Ms. Hanobeck thinks I'm close minded. Silly her.

Cognitive Development

You know, if I didn't want to go into physics, one of my other top choices, next to a life as a monk, would involve psychology. In the past year, I've learned a lot about psychology that I would have never even thought possible. Here's one of these more interesting points in terms of developmental psychology. What you can think changes as you age!

It seems rather intuitive once you hear it, but I never really thought of it until I saw the idea for the first time. As you go through different stages of development, you literally open up whole new worlds to explore. Just as a 5 year old child could never understand that two glasses may have different heights but the same volume, who knows what level of knowledge we can't even see. To believe that the rational mode of the thought is the highest level of development is a major form of rationalcentrism. That's exactly what every other group that reached the "pinnacle" of their modes of seeing the world thought.
Seriously, why would it stop there?
Just think of all the worlds out there to explore if we'll just continue to grow. Holy Fuck.

Speaking of holy, transpersonal psychologists claim that spiritual realizations exist at levels of development beyond the rational (ie formal operational) mode of thought. And who's to say they're wrong? The only way to find out is to take up a spiritual practice and dig in. Just like a child couldn't possibly see, let alone understand, the idea of imaginary numbers, perhaps a person stuck at the rational stage of development couldn't possibly see nor understand the concept of Emptiness, the Absolute, etc. No matter what, though, it's fun to think of staunch rationalists like Richard Dawkin's as a temper-tantruming child.

PS I realize that much of the world's religions are based on mythology, and limitting mythology at that. Such thought probably came about as a result of developing through that level of cognitivie capacity and a negligence to transcend said level. The variety of spirituality / religion that I'm espousing (though I'm not really even espousing it) involves "true" (to the extent that it's more authentic) religion and spirituality. Religion and spirituality that is at least rational, if not trans-rational.

PPS Wow, I definitely didn't intend for this post to be so philosophical / spiritual sounding. I just wanted to post the cool website about cognitive development. Oops. How the mind runs when left unchecked.

This is a Hurt Free Zone!

Well, that last post seemed to bring out some hurtfulness in people. I'm sure that Dave didn't mean to insult anonymous (who I don't know if said anonymous wants to be known), but it did not come off that way. So, please make up. Thank you. I don't want anyone to feel as if they can't/shouldn't post because their ideas will be criticized. I appreciate everyone's input (except for the crazy advertising people... you can insult them all you want. :))

And to anonymous, I find these posts mostly on either Salon.com or Slate.com. These are two of the best online news / opinion sites I've found. Another good site is Wired.com, though that's more for if you're into technology and such.

Namaste, truly, All.

A Bajillion and One Ideas (Start at 1)

I have about a billion post ideas that I could write about now. So, I'm going to start at the first one, and then work my way through them, hopefully, as the day goes on. Though more often than not, when I say that the ideas just kind of fall to the wayside and never get communicated. They go to that great big Idea Heaven in the Sky.

First topic: mediocrity. It comes back to what I said in my third post ever. The idea is that somehow, speaking for myself at least, I'm not really living. I mean, I get up in the morning, and I "live." But living is truly an art, and to play the piano is not to be a pianist. You have to know how to make the instrument sing. Same thing here. Living is an artform, and some make their lives sing, while others don't. I want to make mine sing.

This thought came up from this article. If you read the first few paragraphs and the last few, you'll get the main, and best, jist of the articles important ideas. It's so true. For me, at least.

One idea down. Billion minus one to go!

Death

So, while stretching post-workout, I had this strange thought. I started to try and think about what my life was like before I was born. I realize that this is paradoxical, since there was no "I" to be "like" anything. But just go with me on this.

I thought about this for a minute or so, and then realized it was "like" nothing. I don't remember it. I can't, there was no "I" to remember it. And that is/was okay. The emptiness, the nothing was okay. And that's what death may* be like. Just nothing. It's like birth, in reverse. Which reminds me of the song "Practice Dying." Hm, maybe this idea wasn't so much my own. But I like to pretend.

Of course I'm still scared of death on some level. That's only natural. It's an evolutionary instinct plugged into me the Kosmos. But the thought that it's nothing more than birth in reverse is a little comforting. For me at least.

* I put a footnote here because I don't know what happens after death. I don't think anyone does. Do we reincarnate? Do we go into Heaven or Hell? Do we, well, nothing? Or do we do none/all of the above. The Kosmos is way to weird for me to ever claim to know the answer to this question. I'm just offering one possible scenario.

Reconsidering this Whole "Hippie" Idea

Found this scathing review of hippie-dom by Stuart Davis:

"[Because] that hippy bullshit is just pre-conventional, self indulgent masturbation masquerading as post-conventional non-conformity. And that's ice in Love's underwear. The pre-conventional / post-conventional shell game is as old as the human condition. Every unkempt, malodorous counter-culture freak who's gone camping and taken acid thinks he's John The Baptist (post conventional), and the fact is, they're not."

Good point. Similar to what Brian Sheridan has constantly told me when I say I'm a "hippie." Perhaps I need a new group to identify with. I suppose I don't really know who the hippies were. They just seem so cool with the love, peace, and what not. Oh well, acceptance is the first step towards recovery. :)

Food For Thought (What a Horrible Pun)

I was reading a story from this series (I don't know what it's called, but it's essentially about the economy / technology of the future), and I came accross this quote:

"Sure, will-power. Will-power nothing. The thing is, when three quarters of America are obese, when half are dangerously obese, like me, years off our lives from all the fat -- that tells you that this isn't a will-power problem. We didn't get less willful in the last fifty years. Might as well say that all those people who died of the plague lacked the will-power to keep their houses free of rats. Fat isn't moral, it's epidemiological. There are a small number of people, a tiny minority, whose genes are short-circuited in a way that makes them less prone to retaining nutrients. That's a maladaptive trait through most of human history -- burning unnecessary calories when you've got to chase down an antelope to get more, that's no way to live long enough to pass on your genes! So you and Perry over here with your little skinny selves, able to pack away transfats and high-fructose corn-syrup and a pound of candy for breakfast at the IHOP, you're not doing this on will-power -- you're doing it by expressing the somatype of a recessive, counter-survival gene.

Would I like to be thinner? Sure. But I'm not gonna let the fact that I'm genetically better suited to famine than feast get to me. Speaking of, let's eat."

Damn. That'll show my skinny ass what's up. I never thought of it that way. I suppose most people never do.

Anyway, the rest of the series is full of good stuff. Real utopian.

Namaste.

PS - Man, all this reading on Transcendentalism is really getting to me. I sure hope my "teaching" tomorrow is up to Ms. Shulman's level.

Good Quote

"But unfortunately, you can't embrace Gaia until you transcend Gaia. Otherwise, you have a mere addiction to the finite realm. You're not embracing it with love; you're embracing it with basically the same addiction you would heroin or any sort of sensory indulgence."

- Ken Wilber

I found this quote in an article I was reading. The whole "Gaia" part wasn't what I found fascinating. It's when you take Gaia out of the sentence and insert any other word. That way it would read as follows:

"But unfortunately, you can't embrace [something] until you transcend [it]. Otherwise, you have a mere addiction to [it]. You're not embracing it with love; you're embracing it with basically the same addiction you would heroin or any sort of sensory indulgence."

Holy pooh, so true.

Good Stuff

So, me being the hippie that I am (cringes, prepared for berating), I found this awesome site called TreeHugger.com. Well, it's really not all that awesome. I just thought it was pretty funny. I found it through a CharityFocus newsletter/quote thing. Yeah, I am so way too liberal for my own good.

The irony of it all is that I haven't ever really enjoyed the outdoors, yet I'm all crazy about saving the environment. It's kind of like that fact that I want nothing more than to help people, but I don't really handle people well. It's really funny, in a way. And a little disconcerting. I suppose I should really think about why I want to be so altruistic. I mean, there's nothing wrong with it. In fact, it is a good thing. But going into such acts blindly, without knowledge of my true motives, could be dangerous / stupid.

On a similar but different note, I've decided that the ultimate life for me would be some sort of Cyber Monk. Like, me just living in the world, with nothing but a labtop and some clothes. Well, it sounds really lame when I put it out there. But I think it'd be a blast. Kind of a mix between Henry David Thoreau's Walden and Ray Kurzweil's The Singularity. Taking the best of both worlds, and negating the, well, negatives. Yeah, I'm weird. Sigh.

Hm, an interesting post (for me, at least). I hope everyone is still enjoying life. Not that anyone would not enjoy life. At least, I'd hope not.

And in preparation to my teaching of The Night Thoreau Spent in Jail, here's a quote by the T-Man himself.

"To be a philosopher is not merely to have subtle thoughts, nor even to found a school, but so to love wisdom as to live according to its dictates, a life of simplicity, independence, magnanimity, and trust." -- Henry David Thoreau

Word.

Gov School

Heh. Just found this blog dedicated to Gov school. Wow, all the memories Raksha had. I don't know how many I had. I think I've forgotten most of them. Or at least haven't tried as hard at keeping them. Not that I don't want to remember it. Just that, I don't know, it didn't / doesn't seem all that important in the grand scheme of things. Man, are my priorities special.

Isn't it funny how diffently two people can see exactly the same situation. Wow.

Random Excerpts and Stuff

Hi all. I haven't been feeling too much like posting lately. In fact, I've been feeling deeply introspective. I don't know why, for sure. I think I'll post on it sometime. I think it has something to do with an internal conflict I've been feeling between reality and, well, not reality. By this, I mean between how I think things should be, and how they really are. Wow, aren't I being overly dramatic.

But for now, I found this poem in my English folder. I was de-entropizing said folder today and I want to recycle the paper but save the poem. So I figure what better way to do that than to eternalize it in cyberspace.

It's a poem about the Vietnam War and a person who gave his life to bring a spotlight on atrocities occuring half a world away.

Norman Morrison by Adrian Mitchell

On November 2nd 1965
in the multi-coloured mutli-minded
United beautiful States of terrible America
Norman Morrison set himself on fire
outside the Pentagon.
He was thirty-one, he was a Quaker,
and his wife (seen weeping in the newsreels)
and his three children
survive him as best they can.
He did it in Washington where everyone could see
because
people were being set on fire
in the dark corners of Vietnam where nobody could see.
Their names, ages, beliefs, and loves
are not recorded.
This is what Norman Morrison did.
He poured petrol over himself.
He burned. He suffered.
He died.
That is what he did
in the white heart of Washington
where everyone could see.
He simply burned away his clothes,
his passport, his pink-tinted skin,
put on a new skin of flame
and became
Vietnamese.

Now, you can think man was insane or incredibly brave. That he was a psycho or a hero. But think what you want, he was a voice in the darkness.

Wow, I think this poem has more to do with my current empty, ego fortified difficulies that I would have thought. Isn't synchronicity a beautiful thing?

Peace.

Holy Shit!

And I mean that both literally and figuratively. Just check out this article. And then tell me if that doesn't make you laugh and cower in fear at the same time. I mean, seriously, this dude must believe in some white haired, bearded Zeus that sits on a cloud and hurls lightning bolts. The only difference between him and the ancient Greeks is he calls the dude "God."

Like I said, it'd be hilarious if it weren't so scary. This guy has a whole channel to himself. And he spews out this stuff. And I assume someone eats it up. Not that I'm saying he's "bad" per se, anymore than an infant that throws a temper-tantrum is "bad." It's just, you should grow up eventually. You can respect the tantrum, until it becomes a tantrum thrown by a 75 year old man. Then it becomes a little embarassing, for him and us.

Not that my vitriol adds anything positive to the situation. I can respect this man. I can respect his opinion. But I also am forced to disagree with it. And not even on theological grounds (there are 100 and 1 reasons why that type of God makes no sense), but on moral ones. You don't condemn people to destruction because they disagree with you. Or, let me rephrase that. A well adjusted American in the 21st century shouldn't do that.

Enough of my punditry. Enjoy your weekend.

A New Thought

I've found a new field of study to be interested in. Namely biomimetics. Stated simply, biomimetics is the study of nature to figure out how to make things "better." Now, define "better" anyway you like. Personally, I'd define it as making things safer, efficient, energy effective, and aesthetically pleasing, probably in that order.

I had this epiphany because I know I want to go into Science. I don't know if I want to study Physics or Chemistry. To tell you the truth, I don't see why there's a distinction between the two [though some might say that Chemistry is the good stuff and Physics is just "that velocity and accleration stuff" :)]. In addition to these two bases, I just kind of find Biology really cool. Just like that fact that we're even here, and that we're [defined as anything in nature] so good at what we do ["designer" or no]. The science of the future won't really have distinctions between the fields, in my opinion. Interdisciplinary is the word of the future. Which is looking good to me.

Why go to nature for design? Let's take cellular respiration for example [since we're all dead tired of it]. Okay, this "simple" process that goes on in EVERY aerobic cell / organism (that includes you, if you didn't know) creates clean energy at 40% efficiency (ie it takes out 40% of the energy it can from the starting organic compound). Compare this to a power plant, which has an efficiecy of 36-37%. And that's with using fossil fuels and creating all sorts of waste. In this competition, it's Nature, 1, Man, 0.

And the limits are boundless. And practical. I don't want to do theoretical physics. It has its place, but it just doesn't do it for me. It doesn't spark my passion. THIS area does. I suppose it's another option to add to my queue of aspirations. "I wanna be a firefighter. No, an astronaut! No, a..." You get the idea. :)

Thought I'd share. And while I'm at it. What do you want to be?

And good luck with whatever that may be.

Peace!

[PS Don't buy into that "money is happiness" stuff. You can be the richest bastard in the world, and still be miserable. Or you can be the poorest smuck in the world and be freakin' jovial. It's all in you, not the money.]

[Wow, do you think I used enough brackets? :)]

One of Life's Little Suprises

Well, just talked to Ryan Bunch about me going to Chestnut Hill High School to play in the pit band for their performance of High Society.

Woh, it's in Philly.

Holy pooh, what have I gotten myself into?! :( ) Wow, this will definitely be a major learning experience. But I figure it's a chance for me to get out of the house, meet some new people, learn how to drive in the city, AND earn $200.

It's opening night is December 8th. You know what else is December 8th? That's right, Hi-Q. That'll be a special day for me. A special day indeed.

Well, just thought I'd share. Ciao.

There is Life After Crazy

Wow, tonight's marching band practice was the awesomest ever. And by awesome, I don't mean it went well. On the contrary, it probably went the poorest I've ever seen a practice go. But the fun had. Oh, the fun had.

It's amazing that acting crazy / being crazy can be so much fun. I mean, randomly shouting at people / counting in Spanish / being chased around by "crazed" drummers can make for quite a night. Quite a night indeed.

Especially when you "left everything on the field" last Saturday.

Oh well, only the rest of this month to go.

"Do you know what Saturday?! It's Championships! Freakin' Cavalcade Championships!"

And congrats to Kenny on getting accepted into Penn State Main. It's nice to see everyone getting accepted into their colleges of choice.

Hope you enjoyed this Wednesday (felt like Monday). Peace.

Stream of Concsiouness (SOC)

It's Tuesday evening. But I suppose you all know that. It feels so much like a Saturday or a Sunday. Or any day but today. But I suppose when you step outside of time, crazy shit like that happens. No, seriously, try it sometime. Cover up all the clocks in your house, don't look at the computer clock, and just live. It's f'ing amazing what happens. Seriously. It's like time stretches out for you; suddenly, a drought of time becomes a lake. All because you live in the moment.

And living in the moment is nothing if you don't pay attention. Do like Thoreau did. Don't die only to realize that you haven't lived. Wouldn't that be the BIGGEST bitch. Sitting their on your death bed, your life clock ticking to zero, and then realizing you haven't done anything you wanted to. Why? Because you were too scared, it wasn't the right time, you were too tired. What a bunch of BS reasoning. How much of the stuff we come up with is just bs reasoning for not living. How many lives go to waste because of our BS?

And while I'm at it, have you ever really thought about what you're here to do? I mean, do with a capital D. Or as Buckminster Fuller put it, "What's your job on Spaceship Earth with a capital J?" I don't know half the time. Do you?

Well, my stream of consciouness is trickling to an end. Turning into emptiness. Wow, it's funny how doing this CALMS the mind down. One might think it'd have the opposite effect. But it doesn't. Suddenly, there's gaps in my thoughts. Gaps that I have to try and fill. Always trying to fill. Damn, this is better than meditation could ever be. GAP. GAP.

And now normal, non-stream of consciouness, sensoring Dave is back. I just thought I'd give you something fun (if crazy) to chew on. Since I haven't posted in a while. Bad me. BAD.

I hope you all enjoyed your day off. And if you were able to vote (unlike me, who sucked at registering [though I AM registered now]) did. God bless Democracy, I say!

Namaste. Om.

Marching Band Video

And here it is folks. The last video of the season.

Note: If you haven't been able to get the video to run, it's because you need the LATEST version of Quicktime. This video has weird audio encoding (AAC), and this makes it all sorts of not work with Windows Media Player, etc. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Untitled

And this is the way Marching Band ends. Not with a bang but a whimper.

My apologies to Mr. T.S. Eliot.

Seven years of marching band. Wow. I could get all nostalgic, but I won't. It's been a ride. Quite the ride. My Senior year included.

And now it's finished.

I think I'll take a cue from William Blake on this one.

He who binds to himself a joy
Does the winged life destroy
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in eternity's sun rise.

Good night, all. Namaste.

Me, Myself, and I (Part I)

A discussion in Ms. Shulman's AP English class yesterday has motivated me to write about something that, in a way, I've been putting off. Namely, the topic of the illusion of the self. This is a topic that will probably span a few entries. I know it will span more than one. This one is just a starter, to put my foot in the door, to put the flame under my ass. Once the snowball starts, it's hard to get it to stop rolling.

Now to the topic at hand. What do I mean by "the illusion of the self." Let me give you a little background about yesterday's "Philosopy 101" seminar with Mr. Passyn. Mr. Passyn gave the 11th grade class a whirlwind tour of Philosophy from Plato to 20th century existentialists. He discussed the fighting between rationalists (ie scientists, mathmeticians, etc) and existentialists (ie writers, artists, spiritualists, etc). One of the points of existentialists is that reality is completely subjective. This means its embedded in the way you see things. There may be a physical world, but you only see YOUR version of the physical world. As Mr. Passyn put it, "How do you know which reality is true? The one your'e seeing now, or the one when you're on LSD?" Both are true to YOU.

Then Mr. Passyn brought up an existentialist quote (I wish I knew who said it. I'm thinking it was either Sartre or Heidegger) which said something to the effect of "Science is a useful illusion." This quote means that yes, science is handy, but there's absolutely nothing absolute about it (hehe). A whole lot of it's embedded in social, cultural, and subjective web that makes it completely NOT absolute.

And now to the reason I'm writing this post. The statement that "science is an useful illusion" made me think of something else. Namely, that "'I' am a useful illusion." Or to put the idea in broader terms, the self, , is a useful illusion.

I'll give you some time to think that I'm crazy / to come up with your criticisms / to gnaw on the idea. I don't have time / don't really want to post anymore on this idea right now. Just trust me that I'm not some sort of psychopath that came up with this idea: plenty of other psychopaths have had it before me. Just check out Buddhism (for the spiritual side) or Meme Theory (for the scientific side).

And now "I" will see you all later. :)

PS - The Self is a useful illusion. Therefore, this self will be fully present and accounted for throughout the remainder of his lifetime. Just give the idea some thought. Have an open mind. And if you still think I'm a complete idiot, feel free to punch me or something.

PPS - This argument is a LOT more complicated than I made it out to be, and a lot more complicated than I could ever hope to explain. Therefore, any hole in the debate is mine, not the former of the ideas. Forgive me, as I hope they will.

Naps = Bad

I had a good 2 hour nap today. The only problem with that is I wake up more tired, and I get nothing done. Not really all that helpful. Sigh.

Anyway, I just thought I'd share a funny story. Today in Science Olympiad, someone that will remain anonymous stated, "I wanted to touch it. It's a 9 on the hardness scale!" Bet you can't guess what anonymous is talking about!?

It's a rock. LOL.

Yes, I'm immature. But hey, it's fun.

Now where is that music for AP English.

Feeling Good

Evan
Originally uploaded by David Darmon.

Two posts in one night. You know something must be wrong. :)

Here's a nice song that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Serenity by Godsmack

As I sit here and slowly close my eyes
I take another deep breath
And feel the wind pass through my body
I'm the one in your soul
Reflecting inner light
Protect the ones who hold you
Cradling your inner child

I need serenity
In a place where I can hide
I need serenity
Nothing changes, days go by

Where do we go when we just don't know
And how do we relight the flame when it's cold
Why do we dream when our thoughts mean nothing
And when will we learn to control

Tragic visions slowly stole my life
Tore away everything
Cheating me out of my time
I'm the one who loves you
No matter wrong or right
And every day I hold you
I hold you with my inner child

I need serenity
In a place where I can hide
I need serenity
Nothing changes, days go by

Where do we go when we just don't know
And how do we relight the flame when it's cold
Why do we dream when our thoughts mean nothing
And when will we learn to control

Where do we go when we just don't know
And how do we relight the flame when it's cold
Why do we dream when our thoughts mean nothing
And when will we learn to control

I need serenity

And now that you too are in a warm and fuzzy mood, check out this. Looks like it's the interweb of the future. Very cool.

Namaste.

The Quantization of Reality

So, sitting in Concert Band, I had plenty of time for thinking. Looking at the clock, counting down the minutes till I was free (and if you think I'm exaggerating, try sitting through a concert band practice. It is hell!) I had a weird thought. It went something like this: 'I have another 60 / 30 / 15 / etc. minutes to go.'

Okay, not all that weird a thought, but hold on. Then I thought, 'Wait, WTF! You can't have "x minutes to go"' I mean, Of all the things we quantize, time seems to be the strangest. We often discuss the units without talking about the thing being measured, namely time. For example, how often have you heard, "I've got to wait a day." or "I've got 9 months till the babies born." But where's the thing being measured? Shouldn't it be "I've got to wait a day [of time]" or "I've got 9 months [of time] till the babies born." I realize this seems like trivialities. But I think it's an important distinction.

Why? Mainly because confusing the units for the thing is a real shitty thing to do. I've yet to find someone that says, "Oh, I've got 10 centimeters." What the fuck do you have 10 cm of? Gold? Iron? Paper? Shit? The units are valueless without involving the object being measured. This is true with time, perhaps even more so, considering time is all we have. Literally. The present, in it's unquantized form, is all we have.

(This problem stems from the deeper dilemma of limited / limiting worldviews. Yes, science has done wonders for the modern world. But nevertheless, it still imposes man-made restrictions on a reality that is truly man-proof. Whether we're talking Heisenberg or not, reality is way beyond our capabilities to understand. Not to say we shouldn't try and understand reality. On the contrary, we most certainly should. But let's realize how limited our understanding truly is and work from there.)

I just thought this was an interesting, novel, provocative thought. I'm not even going to scratch the topic of the relativity of time, etc. That's way over my head. But I think time is a topic worth a thought or two. In a society that rarely takes any "time" to just sit back and relax, a society ruled by clocks, whether literal or otherwise, it's important to take a step back and contemplate what exactly time is, and how we value it in society.

"Time is money"? No, I think it is so much more.

Yay for Completion

I finished my Villanova App! Wooh!

Now I have at least one college I can go to (assuming I get accepted). Oh, yeah, and they have to give me money. Silly money and it's being necessary.

:(

Thoughts And Stuff

How can I put this? As of late, I've felt very - inauthentic. Not real. Fake. As if I'm not living my real life. As if I'm not living fully.

Sounds weird. I think I can blame most of this feeling on all the random busy work I've had to do. You know, things like college apps, Hi-Q, English, and other random miscellanea. Things that I just don't feel are important. At the same time, pay to Caesar what is Caesar's and to [name] what is [name]'s. In this world, there are certain things that I "have" to do. That's just the way the relative world works. Spin, spin, spin.

How do I want to feel? Let's use a poem:

My mind is not busy with desires, Lord,
and my heart has satisfied its longings.
I do not care about religion
or anything that is not you.
I have soothed and quieted my soul,
like a child at its mother's breast.
My soul is as peaceful as a child
sleeping in its mother's arms. (Psalm 131)

To feel like that. Settled. Not going "anyway the wind blows." What I'd give for that. For peace of mind.

But that doesn't seem to be my karma. It's just not the way I work. My mind is like a freaking monkey, jumping from one tree (thought) to another.

Eh, just felt like bitching. Don't worry, this "problem" isn't all that big. Well, not to anyone that isn't me. To everyone else, my "inauthenticity" isn't all that important. But since this blog is called Ruminations, I figured I'd ruminate.

Namaste.

Band Video

Yesterday's band video is available here. Enjoy.

It really wasn't as bad as I thought. Which is a little scary. If it wasn't that bad, how are we supposed to improve the score? I guess we'll find out Monday.

Jesus

Jesus
Originally uploaded by David Darmon.

Today was Senior Dress-Up Day. I don't know if that much fun should be legal.

Obviously I went as Jesus. Ed, Matt, and I did a spoof on Evangelicism. Ed was the bum. Matt was the crazy Evangelical Christian.

Though, apparently people thought I was stripper Jesus. Jeese, a guy shows a little skin, and suddenly he's stripper Jesus. :)

Congrats to the Peter Pan group (aka Brett, Laura, Kenny, Holly, Jim, and Noelle) for winning best group and to the Blues Brothers (aka Brian and Sean) for winning funniest group. You guys rocked!

Well, I'm currently mourning the loss of my beard. So, I'll be locked up in my room. (Just kidding!)

I <3 Inspiration

"[Let] the beauty we love, and the beauty we are, be what we do."

-- Excerpt from Coming to Our Senses by Jon Kabat-Zinn

Damn. That has to be the best one sentence description of life's purpose I've ever come across.

If we could all live that message, the world would be a freakin' crazy love filled place. What a novel thought, eh?

Tomorrow is Senior Dress-Up Day. You know what that means. It's game time. Aw yeah.

Namaste.

Well, Gee, What's a Guy to Do

I was reading in one of the several books that I spend my life reading instead of living and I came across something called "Gödel's Incompleteness Theorems." This topic is totally unrelated to the premise of the book (I wasn't reading a math book for fun!); it was really about mindfulness. But the guy was making a point about mathematics.

Anyway, I won't try and explain what Gödel's thingie is. To be honest, I don't understand it myself. I'm pretty sure it's something about how sets can't be defined in mathematics. Something my Gov School Discrete Math Teacher said. Since all (well, most of) math is defined by sets, that means that math is based on something without a definition.

The author, Kabat-Zinn, compares the Incompleteness Theorems in mathematics to the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle in physics. Which made me think, 'Shit, we really don't know shit.'

And I just thought I'd share that with you. Maybe you've learned something. Maybe not.

It's a Girl!

Congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Orlando on having a beautiful (aren't all babies beautiful?) baby girl. Welcome to the world. I wish her the best of luck. Though she won't need it with the parents she has.

Her journey began on the twenty-fourth day of the tenth month of the two thousand and fifth year in the common era. May her path be ever exciting and illuminating.

Three cheers for Samantha Orlando.

Feeling Peaceful

These past few days, I've been feeling very peaceful. But a strange sort of peaceful. A peaceful that exists in the midst of rushing. Or maybe I'm just imagining the peacefulness because I'd like it to be there.

Sometimes I just wish I could go off to a monastery somewhere and just sit. Join a group of like minded individuals and sit. Breath. Be.

And then I wake up, find myself in a rushing Western World, consistently moving forward, and realize that this is not the place for me. Not in this life, anyway. Maybe in the past. Maybe in the future. But now, today, I must live in the present. And the present, in the present, is always rushing ahead. Or maybe it's not moving at all.

Wow. I scare myself sometimes when I allow me to go stream-of-consciousness. If you could see inside my head... shudder. :)

And now to a poem.

Enough. These few words are enough.
If not these words, this breath.
If not this breath, this sitting here.

This opening to the life
we have refused
again and again
until now.

Until now.

-- David Whyte

Happy Mol Day!!!

And you all thought I forgot! It's that special day: Mol Day. That's right, October 23rd commemorates that most famous of numbers, Avogadro's.

Let's all count to 6.02E23 together. Ready! One! Two! Thre... Well, that gets old real quick. :0 I hope you enjoyed your Mol Day. Not writing an English paper. Sigh.

And now to a most non-science related song. Why? Because the Spirit moves me.

+ Dharma - Drama by Stuart Davis

Doped up in the goddamn drama
groping for the Golden Dharma
Birth and death both rubber band
back to the Bardo, cue the laugh track
Into the lie of time
Into the veil of space
Into the lie of time
Into the veil of space

I keep filling up my lungs
with a love for every one
including you
You open up your chest
inhale the dispossesed
including me
including me

Is
it is all suddenly
so in us lifted love
reflected
love lifted us in so
suddenly all is perfected
Even the lie of time
Even the veil of space
Even the lie of time
Even the veil of space

As we were
before we were
Is
as we are
after we are
Is
We are
Is
We are
Is

Halloween

Dude, you will not BELIEVE what I just came up with to do for the Halloween skit. Absolutely will not believe it! It's a guarenteed prize in "most original".

Hint: think Jesus. Think Hippie. Think Hippie Jesus. And that's just the beginning!

Yay!

Censored!

Censored
Originally uploaded by David Darmon.

The man's putting me down again! My mom bought the Homecoming booklet that has all the Seniors and their profiles in it. I, in a fit of genius (or smartassness, depending on your opinion) put for my most memorable moment Mr. German saying during a enumeration of assignments, "Remember to give Dave Darmon all your sex." And they took it out. Oh well. I guess it's not really "appropriate." But it was funny. And it happened.

Big Brother, I'll get you!

Free Time Yields Some Thoughts

I suddenly find myself with tons (3 more hours) of free times thanks to Divine Providence. Wooh.

So, I'll post on some of those ideas that I eluded to previously. Let's see.

First one: Homecoming Dance. I had a surprising amount of fun. As in, I don't think I've ever had fun at a normal dance before [meaning I had fun at my Junior Prom], but I did yesterday. Of course, the conditions were just like normal: bad music, lots of people, nothing much to do. Instead of letting that get to me, I just hung out with some good people and made fun. Of course, people still tried to get me to "dance." I humored them with my Dave Curlett "seizuring dance" that I picked up from my brother my Freshman year. Always comes in handy.

It's funny how people react to someone sitting down on the dance floor and meditating. With about 15 minutes to go, I was getting tired. So I sat down, closed my eyes, and just kinda breathed (aka meditated). You'd be surprised by the number of people that came up to me and asked, "Are you okay." I smiled and responded kindly, "Of course. Just felt like sitting." Thinking back on it, I probably looked high or something. Then again, mellow people always looks as if they've just smoked the Reefer. That whole experience was fun [the sitting down, not the smoking of the Reefer. :) ].

Now to the closed-mindedness. Mrs. Hanobeck apparently thinks I'm closed-minded because I think that the dialect in There Eyes Were Watching God is Ebonics. I don't see how that makes me closed-minded. Just because I'm not Politically Correct Man doesn't make me Racist Bigot Man. PC people aren't any fun anyway. Unless you get them drunk. Then that's a different situation completely.

Well, I'm going to go enjoy the rest of this Saturday. The rest that I still have.

To the Guitar!

This is a Test

Just downloaded some random new browser called Flock. It's based on the Mozilla browser. It's... different. But it allows me to post directly from the browser. Interesting.

Well, this was just a test. I'll probably post on the dance / my "close-mindedness" / other things tomorrow. Maybe

Later.

How the Are We Seniors?!

So, I was filling out the Senior Directory, and I decided to flip through my old yearbooks to get some ideas. That's when a thought came to my mind: There's no freakin' way we're seniors. I mean, no offense to us, but we just don't cut it. We don't look old enough. We're not cool enough. We're not smart enough. We're not, heck, anything enough.

Then a second thought hit me. Yeah, we're not "seniors," in the sense I think of seniors. When I think of seniors, I think back to my freshman year, my sophomore year, and my junior year. And we'll never be them. But we're us. We're this year's seniors. For better or for worse.

And after all of that, I still don't have a good direcory entry, and I still don't feel like a senior. Sigh.

Heh, not a very deep post, but I'm saving the deepness for the directory. Got to make it shiny. Hahaha.

Adios.

Gawd

So many thoughts that I'd love to post. And yet no time to do the posting. So for now, I'll just steal a post from another dude. Check it out here.

Of course, when I have time to post, I'll be in a drought of lack of thought. Oh, the ironies of life.

"Happy"

Everyone dies, everyone loves a fight
Nothing is sound, nothing is right side right
Evening comes when the sun goes down in red
Nothing is cool
When will all the fighting end?
Happy is a yuppie word
Nothing in the world could fail me now
It's empty as an argument
I'm running down a life that won't cash out
Everything fails
Everything runs its course
A time and a place for all this love and war
Everyone buys, everyone's got a price
Nothing is new, when will all the failures rise
When will all us failures rise, rise
Happy is a yuppie word
Blessed is the man who's lost it all
Looking for an orphanage
I'm looking for a bridge I can't burn down
I don't believe the emptiness
I'm looking for the kingdom coming down
Everything is meaningless
I want more than simple cash can buy
Happy is a yuppie word
Nothing is sound

Nothing is Sound by Switchfoot

This song strikes a chord with me for some reason (no pun intended). It's just so purty. And meaningful.

Whatever. Just thought I'd share. :)

A Thought

Whatever you can do, or believe you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

And on that note, I'm going to get some things done that deserve getting done.

Inarticulate Blather

Well, I should be finishing my AP English paper. But gaaaah. It's just not happening. It's like all the good ideas jumped out of my head after the first 3 pages. Man, and I have to write a paper for this quarter, too. No fun.

I guess this is what college is like. Constant paper writing. Woo hoo!

My brain is thoroughly fried right now. Man. Ow.

So, I'm going to stop trying to write now.

Bye.

Yesterday's Competition

After minimum trouble, I have yesterday's marching band competition up here. I found out that Multiply only gives you 30MB upload space of video EVER. As in, even if you delete a video, you can't upload anymore. As Janean would say, "Gay." But I suppose it's free. So now I've just made the file smaller, without really decreasing the quality all that much. Sorry for the delay. I'm learning.

I hope it works for everyone. It should. If it doesn't, make sure you have the latest version of Quicktime on your computer.

Have a nice Sunday. I'll be spending mine doing an AP English book report / analysis. :(

Regular Life

In breaking with the pattern of the past few entries, this one will just be about plain old, everday life. Why? Because (a) I'm sure you're getting bored about all the info I've been "shoveling" out (hahaha) and (b) I have a funny story to tell.

Today in AP English (Language), I was available to help out with the class, like normal. The Juniors was working on a poster project (gag). So Kim Woods, whose partner was absent, asks Ms. Shulman, "Since my partner isn't here, can Dave Darmon help me?" And Ms. Shulman, in a wry mood, replies, "Well, Dave, at least one women in the world wants you."

Ouch.

:)

I got burned by Ms. Shulman. Like 1st degree. Damn.

In other news, I got "pwned" (look at me using nifty lingo!) in Hi-Q yesterday. I haven't had the (read made the) time to read the Lit and Shakespeare. And it showed yesterday. Hard. I'll have to work on that. I'll be up to speed by the first competition. And hopefully by next practice.

I've more or less decided on Villanova as my future educational home. I'm finally getting all the paper work filled out. It's amazing what a little motivation and a fast approaching essay can do. Truly amazing.

Well, I hope everyone enjoys the rest of, um, the evening. Have a beautiful today and a pleasant tomorrow.

Namaste.

Existence

My good friend Dave McClung has recently opened a fascinating can of worms. One that once a person's opened, they can never close. Kind of a Pandora's Box, if you will. Here's a brief excerpt from his thinking:

However, even though a lower population would use less energy, according to the second law of thermodynamics, entropy in the universe is increasing meaning that more unusable energy is being created every day. Humans are very ordered in comparison with other parts of the universe. Eventually, humans will be broken down because they can no longer keep their organized state because of the increase of entropy. However, with the sun helping us out by providing us unimaginable amounts of energy, the entropy created is replaced by Gibb's Free energy, which is energy that we can use to do work, or make order.

And here's an excerpt of my response:

It's funny how a little science can go a long way towards tearing the world apart. Entropy, the laws of Thermodynamics, evolution, etc, I agree with all of these (to the extent of what we know). But I also think/know that there's more to the universe than that. More that we don't know. There has to be.

Let's face it. We've been around for a mere 2E5 (two hundred thousand) years. Compare that to the 1.2E10 (twelve billion) years that this universe has been in existence. That means we've been around for 0.000167% of the history of the universe. Or, since I like scientific notation so much, 1.67E-4%. And yet we think we know shit about the Cosmos. Dude, we don't know shit.

Now let me expand on this whole "not knowing shit" concept.

One of the things science is still working on is finding out what about 93% of the universe is made up of. Because it doesn't know. We call it "dark matter / energy." I spent a good 3 weeks on this topic with a brilliant physics professor at Governor's School. And the best explanation he could give for this "dark" stuff was that it was like a fluid. Like water. But he still couldn't say WHAT IT WAS.

If we honestly don't know what such a large part of the universe is (and it's a really huge part. Think about it. All the stuff you think the universe is made up of is ONLY that 7%. The billions upon billions of planets and stars are only 7%. To quote myself, "Holy fuck!") how can we even guess at, let alone proclaim, that we know how the universe works. Isn't that just a tad bit pompous? A little infantile?

Then there's systems theory and all its fun offspring (like chaos theory). That stuff takes classical mechanics, thermodynamics, etc, and turns them on their head. Literally redefines how we think about EVERYTHING. It isn't anything new. Just not something they teach us at school. Why not? Probably because it's "too hard." Or maybe too esoteric. You know, like General Relativity. ("Can you explain this with something a little less esoteric than Relativity? Something more believable?" ROFL. Inside joke with Governor's School people.) But it explains emergence and the complexity of life better than evolution on its own ever could.

Finally, one thing we as the generation of the quanta have learned is that the universe is (literally) uncertain. And perhaps that's the best way to go about this whole ordeal: to be ever humble, knowing that we don't know. Because we are mere dust on some insignificant ball out in an arm of a spiraling galaxy. At the same time, we're the universe's best attempt at getting to know itself that we know of. And that too is humbling AND inspiring.

I'll end this with the note that the only thing that I know for sure is that I know nothing for sure. But living life on the edge is like that. It's beautiful. Truly, effortlessly beautiful.

And then there's always the chance that all my ideas are wrong. And that no one's watching.

-------------------

Writer's Note:

None of these ideas are my own. Like I could come up with something this elegant. Psh, right. All of this came from hundreds of philosophers, scientists, and mystics, nicely distilled to me through Ken Wilber's writings.

If you're at all interested in some of these concepts, check out Sex, Ecology, and Spirituality by Ken Wilber. It's a killer read. Or really any other book by this guy. He's an amazing compendium of all the philosophy of the East, West, North and South.

The Road Travelled (and Not)

With all this hullabaloo about choosing a college coming up, I got to thinking about an odd concept: where I choose to go to college will greatly affect the next 4 years of my life. No lie.

By this, I mean it will dictate, in one way or another, who my new friends are (don't worry, current friends, with the Machine [aka the interweb] alive and growing, we'll keep in touch like peas and carrots), what activities I do, what career path I follow, and, in a more general sense, EVERYTHING. Just from the simple decision of what college I go to (AKA what place accepts me and gives me the most money).

It's baffling in a way. But on the other hand, when I consider that ANY choice I make results in the same sort of life-defining-ness, it becomes quite ordinary. Not ordinary in a bad way though. No, ordinary in the sense that it's fucking amazing that life works this way, and that humans manage to not go insane going through it.

Think about it. When you make that choice to go to the party instead of staying home studying, you might meet the girl of your dreams / a new best friend / absolutely noone. You might get hit by a car on the way home. You might meet the person who points you onto a new career path. How many seemingly simple choices like whether or not you go to a party do you make throughout the day? Tens? Hundreds? Thousands? And they ALL potentially have this far reaching consequences.

There's an analogy in quantum physics, if you'll allow me to go there. Every particle theoretically travels EVERY POSSIBLE PATH that it can before deciding on the one it "actually" takes between two points. So, if you put a particle in a box, and it goes from point A to point B, in reality it traveled every possible route (and I'd assume there are an infinite number of them) from A to B. Every route.

In much the same way, we live our lives, travelling from point A (birth) to point B (death). And we can only take one path. But there are an infinite number of paths we DIDN'T take. An infinite number.

Fuck.

I guess all a guy can do is go through life. Make the best choices he can. And just pray that he made the best ones.

Though in the end, the choices that you make are the choices that you make. And where you are is where you are. And it could be no other way.

I'm 18 and I Forgot

In that long list of things people told me I could now do being 18 (buy cigarettes, drive after 11, watch porn, etc.), a very important item was missing: my ability to register to vote. That's right, I, the crazy wacko liberal pinko fag (hehehe, I'm only one of those things... guess which one?!) forgot that I'm now eligible to vote in the United States of America.

I amended that mistake today. I am now (well, by now I mean as soon as the mailed in registration form is processed) a registered Independent. I unfortunately missed the cut off date to be able to vote in this coming November's elections (what elections?), but I'll be more than able to vote in the 2006 mid-term elections. Exciting!

Why didn't I register Democrat, you ask? Because I don't see the point of being in a party. I'll vote for whoever wants and will do what is best for this country and our world. That person may be a Democrat, they may be Republican. Heck, they may be Green. I don't really care. The party shouldn't sell the ticket. The person should.

Since I'm privileged enough to live in a country that will let me vote, I also decided to register for the Selective Service today. That's the thing that's really like the draft, except the government doesn't draft you from it (yet). Prior to filling it out, I thought about my whole "Hell no, I won't go!" belief should they ever reinstitute the draft. And a whole lot of it's just me being a narcissistic pussy asshole. I'll have to think about it some more. Maybe it'll warrant its own post.

And therefore today's been a productive day.

I hope you all enjoy your Sunday. I'll be spending mine reading. Non-stop. Reading.

:)

Dances, Villanova, and a Free Day

Hello there. I'm trying to make my titles more vague and less, well, tacky. Therefore the more open, general titles instead of "Wow, life's great!" or "Man, life sucks!" I personally was running out of original titles [I guess those aren't really original...]. So I'm switching my format. Just so you know. :)

Anyway, I went to the Hurricane Katrina Relief Dance yesterday. Let me say, it was a smash. Bravo to all National Honors Society members, Tri-M members, parents, teachers, custodians, DJs and administrators that made it work. Isn't it amazing just how many people were necessary to make something seemingly so simple work out? Simply amazing.

Though the dance went well, I personally didn't have too much fun. That's nothing new. Dances + Me = Not Fun Time. The only "dance" I've ever had fun at was the Junior Prom. I can honestly say I enjoyed myself that night.

I could try and figure out why I don't have fun, and maybe I will at some later date. But for now I'll narrow it down to the music. Rap, which may be used for noble purposes, tends to just be about sex or drugs, usually in combination. Now, it's good for dancing to because if it's "beats". Admittedly, "white" music isn't conducive to dancing. Therefore why white folk turn to alcohol / drugs at parties. You can't dance to white music sober, so some artificial potion does the trick. Heh. I guess I won't be having fun at any parties anytime soon considering my dislike of dancing / drugs-alcohol. Oh well. I'll just stick to having fun with nice conversations, interesting activities, etc.

Now to Villanova. Went there today. It was really fun. Other than it taking up most of my "free" day. :) But that's okay. Villanova has this cool philosophy of combining "heart and mind." Sounds a lot like the Buddhist principle of Big Mind / Big Heart. I like it. So what if it's "a Roman Catholic" institute.

Plus, they apparently have a great science program there. At least, Mr. O, Mr. Hess, and Mr. Hagan have all hyped it up. And let's face it, I'm going into sciences. Whether I like it or not.

That's all there is to say. I might just have a free day tomorrow if Kenny's right. That's a blessing and a curse (like most things in life). I really could use the free time to get some work done.

Or maybe enjoy myself.

In the meantime, you all enjoy yourselves.

Bye.

Yay!!!

Finally, I believe I've gotten the video up. Now, I don't really know if it'll work for you, but there is no reason why it shouldn't.

If it doesn't, just smack me or something.

With this new ability, I'll probably put the videos up weekly. However, with the space limitations (only 30 MB), I'll only be able to put up two at a time. So, yeah. Just thought I'd share that.

I'm off to get ready for the Hurricane Relief Dance. At Chi High. Be there.

Peace!

Maturity and Conflict Management

If there's one thing I learned in Freshman Lunch, it's that I suck at conflict management. I get in a pinch, and I freeze up. Well, not really freeze up. I just kind of shut down my "Big Mind" and go into fight or flight mode. It's kind of amusing.

Oh, and sorry about all the biching today after/about Freshman Lunch. I realize now that this annoyance could have just ended there. But for some reason I just felt the urge to share. I don't know if it was beneficial or not (to me or others). Anyway, one thing I know is that I could have just told the story without me saying, "Man, that was a bitch. I hate freshman!" Yeah, that didn't get anything done.

"Do you believe in God?" asks the freshman. 'Oh, man, that would be a two hour discussion right there,' thinks I. ROFL.

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Om mani padme hung.

Intelligence, Vocab, and My Hatred of Big Words

Hi everyone. Sorry about the band video. I'm told it isn't working. And Google is still "pending." Well, there's always next week. Perhaps I'll get it right then.

Anyway, I'm going to start a rant here, and see what you all think. Sitting in AP English class, we're constantly told that a big vocab = big intelligence. I personally think that's a bunch of hoowie. Maybe it's because my vocab isn't ginormous. But I truly believe that smart people have big vocabs, not that big vocabs signify a smart person.

And I don't like using big words just for the sake of using big words. I mean, if a smaller, descriptive word works, why use a larger word? "Oh, that's not enough syllables. Let's use 4 syllable word. Oh, I know! Bildungsroman! Now I sound smart!" What's the point?

Not that I'm busting the chops of all you big vocab people out there. I just think little words are getting a bad rap. In AP English, at least.

But I'm only "proficient" in writing. So what do I know... :)

I'm off to an evening of reading, reading, and reading.

Peace out!

Woe is Me

Well, I just wanted to explain this whole video escapade, so that you can understand why everything didn't transpire as planned.

Today I got the brilliant idea of posting our marching band show on the internet. Genius, I thought. It'll be a piece of cake.

I exported the video (which is about 6 minutes long) out of iMovie, and it came out to be a whopping 15 MB. That doesn't sound big, but when you're talking about uploading / others downloading this file, that is almost unmanagable. Plus there's the simple fact that I'm not super computer proficient (at least compared to how I used to be).

Then I attempted to upload it to video hosting sites, including VidiLife. These sites don't support Quicktime (yes, I know Ed, Apple is the Antichrist. :) ), so that idea didn't pan out too well.

Then I tried hosting it from my Power Mac. That should have worked, but for reasons unknown (and perhaps unknowable [duh, duh, duuuuuh]), it didn't. The other computers on my network can pick it up. But apparently computers not on the network cannot.

So, I ended up with a tiny video (only 4 MB) that is hosted from Comcast. Not quite what I was going for. Not quite it at all.

But now I found out that Google has video hosting! And a special uploading application! So I might just get the decent one up tonight!

This would involve staying up about an hour later than I'd like. But who needs sleep anyway.

I love Google. Sometimes I fear them becoming the Microsoft of the internet, but then I realize that Google doesn't come out with inferior products. :)

Enough of my bantering. And I had a good topic to talk about today too (how the human mind finds patterns in everything). I suppose I'll get to that later. Sigh...

Good night.

Finally...

And, after failing to get it up by 8:30, I got it up now!

Here is is. Yes, it's tiny. But it's better than nothing. I'll get the hang of this sometime.

Sorry for the delay / the sucking. But it's a learning experience.

Namaste.

Me Trying

If the video isn't working, as Dave says, I'll try and put it up on Comcast around 8:30 tonight. So, if you come back then, it should be up.

I still don't get why it's not working. It should be. Sigh...

Band Video!!!

I've successfully (I think) uploaded the band video onto a video hosting website. It can be found here. Please tell me how it works. Either in comments, IM, or e-mail. Or person. That works too.

And spread the word to people that don't read this blog! I figure band members have some sort of right to see the show. But I'm crazy. :)

(This video requires Quicktime. And a high speed internet connection.)

--------------------------

Okay. I think I really have it working now. Hopefully.

Sex, Ecology, and Spirituality

It is flat-out strange that something - that anything - is happening at all. There was nothing, then a Big Bang, then here we all are. This is extremely weird.

To Schelling's burning question, "Why is there something rather than nothing?," there have always been two general answers. The first might be called the philosophy of "oops." The universe just occurs, there is nothing behind it, it's all ultimately accidental and random, it just is, it just happens - oops! The philosophy of oops, no matter how sophisticated and adult it may on occasion appear - its modern names and numbers are legion, from positivism to scientific materialism, from linguistic analysis to historical materialism, from naturalism to empiricism - always comes down to the same basic answer, namely, "Don't ask."

The question itself (Why is anything at all happening? Why am I here?) - the question itself is said to be confused, pathological, nonsensical, or infantile. To stop asking such silly or confused questions is, they all maintain, the mark of maturity, the sign of growing up in this cosmos.

I don't think so. I think the "answer" these "modern and mature" disciplines give - namely, oops! (and therefore, "Don't ask!") - is about as infantile a response as the human condition could possibly offer.

The other broad answer that has been tendered is that something else is going on: behind the happenstance drama is a deeper or higher or wider pattern, or order, or intelligence. There are, of course, many varieties of this "Deeper Order": the Tao, God, Geist, Maat, Archetypal Forms, Reason, Li, Mahamaya, Brahman, Rigpa. And although these different varieties of the Deeper Order certainly disagree with each other at many points, they all agree on this: the universe is not what it appears. Something else is going on, something quite other than oops. . . .

-- Excerpt from Sex, Ecology, and Spirituality by Ken Wilber

I <3 Ken Wilber

This (Video) Game Called Life

More and more as of late I've been viewing my life as some sort of weird video game. Not really in a conscious manner, but rather through the way I get excited about activities / life in general. Like, when I have to get something done, I feel this unusual excitement about doing it. Especially if it's something that will directly benefit me (e.g. exercising). It reminds me a lot of how I'd feel back in the day (oh, 3 or 4 years ago) when I'd play RPGs. In those games, I'd play for hours just "leveling up" my characters. Literally not playing the game, just gaining experience points to make the game easier.

And in a way, I guess that's what exercising / meditating / eating right / having fun is all about. It prepares you to get through life, to make it easier. Because life is difficult. It never becomes un-difficult. But you can still make it a little easier.

So, not doing all those activities enumerated above, you can still get through life. You can even get through life well. But I always want to get things done in the most efficient, easy, and beneficial ways. I'm just weird like that. And I therefore get a kick out of "leveling" myself up.

And so I'm left with another metaphor to describe life: as a video game.

:)

Random Politics Test

You are a Social Liberal (75% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (26% permissive) You are best described as a: Strong Democrat Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

I'm liberal. Suprise! :)

Tick, Tock

What I should be doing right now is either Hi-Q, Bio, or English. But, hey, I felt like writing. So why not.

This year has been incredibly busy. Amazingly so. And I'm not complaining. I've felt more alive in the past few weeks than I've felt for a year. And I love it.

I know that part of the aliveness relates to my constant motion. A person in motion doesn't have much time to be introspective. And let's be honest, being introspective / contemplative can get depressing. Some of the time.

Running from life's problems isn't really a great solution. But I have to admit, it's fun! Work hard, play hard, right? And not it's time to play hard.

On the note of running from things, I'm really getting freaked out by all the questions that are popping up of "What do you want to do when you get out college." I don't know, okay? Isn't that cool. Freakin' tyranny of choice. Annoying as hell.

Yeah, that's right, I'm bitching about having too many options. High five for me!

Well, I should really get to all that work I have. Really. Honest. I'm going.

Really.

:)

Yippie!!!

Since power is out at the high school, a whole evening all to myself suddenly popped into existence. Can you say score?

Quick Disclaimer: Yes, I know we, the band, need the practice. But come on? A free night!

Anyway, this is just one of those transient awesome moments that really makes life funny. Like, today in physics, I created a "paper puppet" (you know, like a sock puppet) and just kinda played with it all of physics. And that's what made physics fun.

But you know, a normal person would just enjoy this normal good day. But you know me, I have to write about it.

Plus, I figured I'd better put something up here. So, here it is!

Peace!

The Declaration of Independence and Me

After all these years of reading the Declaration of Independence in school, one of the lines finally hit me. You know, the one that goes something like:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness

All humans are endowed with those rights. The last one being the pursuit of happiness. Now, luckily, the founders figured out that you can't catch happiness. Good for them. But they also hit on something a lot more important (for me at least): the fact that all humans pursue happiness. If you ask someone what the point of life is, you might get a lot of different answers. But most, if not all, of these answers will point to finding happiness in life.

For the past two years or so, I've been so holier-than-thou, thinking that my purpose in life couldn't possibly be that base. Now don't hate me, please. :)

My point is, I finally get it. Everybody, in some form or another, is just looking to be happy. I know that most of you picked that up intuitively, so all this babbling on my part seems like a giant waste of good interweb space. But something moved me to post this epiphany.

But realizing that we all want happiness, one must also realize we all go about getting it in different ways. And that, basically, is what makes the world go around. Some of us find it in other people, some in accomplishments. A great many find it in television, in drugs, in pills, and in alcohol. Some find it in a party. Others in a good book. But they all find it.

Maybe.

Because some ways of finding happiness are better than others. Drugs, not so good. But then again, I've never used them, so I really should withhold my judgement. However, I can say that a good book, good company, or a good time are awesome methods for inducing happiness.

All that just to say that I've realized I want to be happy. Wow.

But don't worry, I want you to be happy too. For some reason, I do that just out of habit. I want everyone to be happy. And no matter what Dave says, I think it's possible. :)

Editor's Note: And after posting this, I'm forced to think of something I read yesterday. It was from a worksheet in AP English called How to Read a Book. It was remarkably profound, considering the lame title. It said something to the effect of, "It's not how many books you get through, but how many books get through to you." And I was like, wow. How many books have actually gotten through to me? I'm ashamed to say very few.

The point being I have this tendency to come up with / find an idea, and then completely ignore / forget it's real world applications. I need to work on that. Thought I'd share. :)

The Razor's Edge

You know, it's true. We humans really do live on a razor's edge. All of our lives.

Life is a constant shift between Stasis and Chaos. Between Eros and Agape. Either differentiation or integration. But never just one of them. They always work in unison.

According to evolutionary biology, the only cause of change is external stress on a system. When something outside a living system kicks it, the living system changes. And that's pretty much all there is to evolution. The magnificent theory is this: hit something, and it'll change.

And the really cool thing about humans is that we can apply the external pressure to ourselves. If you want to change something about yourself, just apply an external pressure. Get a friend to help you. Talk to someone. Or just choose for yourself that you've had enough. And suddenly, evolution is on your side.

And all humans are is some silly microcosm (and this'll be the only time I'll ever use that word, ever) of the universe. From day one, whether you think that was five thousand years ago or eleven billion, the universe has been evolving. Things have been kicking ass, forcing all the other things to change. And this simple, elegant little mechanism has created the plethora of existence that is our universe. Holy shit.

Yep, that's what life is. A giant trapeze act. Right there on the edge of existence. Chaos is always so close. Death is always so close. But you just don't see it.

Until you open your eyes.

Memento mori.

Er, Um, Hm,

As I realize I'm slowly losing all of my readership, I make you a promise. I will continue to post at least weekly, no matter what [barring some sort of world cataclysmic event / my apathy].

Nothing much has gone on in this neck of the woods.

I've managed to write down a list of "goals" that I want to achieve. Unfortunately, most of them are short term, which means they're really not going to help me navigate the river of life. BUT, they will help me to do something on a day to day basis so I don't just float there.

I have band today. So I might post again today. Might not. I'll try to. Maybe put up a post not about me? Wouldn't that be a novel idea!

In the meantime, have fun!

Taught Me a Lesson

That'll teach me to ever say I'm going to plan out my future.

So, yesterday, all was well until about 7th period. Then a big wave of not feeling good hit me. So I came home around 3ish and went to sleep until 9. Then I watched House (how I love that show!) and went to sleep again.

I'll leave all the nice details out. Just think of being sick with a fever. A fever of 102 F (wait, wait, wait... Mr. Hagan would want me to say 38.9 C). And that's how fun it was.

Then not eating any food today didn't really help.

Don't really know why I felt like posting this. Some sob story. But I just thought I'd share.

Sharing. It'd make the world a better place.

That's all folks.

A Thought

I was in Mrs. Neeson's room today. And I realized that I really have no honest idea what I want to do with my life. I mean, I say (half-joking, but mostly seriously) that I want to go into the Peace Corps when I graduate. I say that I'm going to go into Science. Alternative energy sources, of course. I say that I want to change the world.

But half of the things I say I want to do are just pipe dreams. Things I concocted during random spurts of inspiration. And the other half are mostly pre-ordained plans that I had little to do with planning. Not that anyone forced them on me or anything. They just seemed like givens in this world.

And this leaves me in quite a predicament. If I strip away the pipe dreams and the pre-given plans, I'm left with no plans for the future. None. Other than the most basic of: graduate from high school; go to college; go into the real world; make some sort of living; die. But the details are missing. And you know what? Life is in the details.

So, I guess I really should sit down sometime and figure this all out. Not like that should keep you up at night or anything. It's my problem. You all have your own lives to figure out.

This leaves me thinking of an article I read in Scientific American. The gist of it is that some choice is good, but at some point, you get diminishing, and eventually negative, returns. And I find that to be a problem for me. I see all the possibilities out there, and I don't want to choose just one. I could be a scientist. But wait, I could major in Poli. Sci. Or no, maybe I could just go to Africa and work to help peace a country back together. Or maybe write a book?

And under all this weight, I feel, well, crushed.

All the more reason to sit down and plan it out. Nothing quite like rushing down a river without a map. Especially when the river is traveling about 10x faster than I could ever possibly swim.

And back to reality. Life's good. School's good. I don't feel all that adultish. But that's cool too.

Enjoy life.

Just Figured...

I'd post something since it's been so long.

Chichester High School had its first marching band competition yesterday. We got a 63.something. We did pretty good. I watched the show. Looks like a pretty normal first competition show. We have plenty of time (well, 2 months) to make it better.

I've become infatuated with Switchfoot. I don't know what it is. Well, yes I do. I love their lyrics. They seem to sing about all the things I think about. How the world can be so ugly and yet so beautiful. All at the same time. They seem to voice all the thoughts that I've ever had. It's crazy.

And best of all, they're not the usual bitchy type of alt-rock band. You know, the ones that go "Man, my life sucks. My girlfriend left me, and I'm a loser. Let me think about killing myself." No, they acknowledge that life sucks sometimes, but then they dare you to move.

And on that same theme, why listen to a song about killing yourself? Especially if it's over something little (aka ANYTHING that happens to you in your teenage years)? I mean, come on. The world's a big place, and there's more than enough to keep you entertained for a long. Ass. Time.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Tell that to me about 7 months ago. But I've grown up a little since then. Just a little though. :)

Well, I've now checked in. Hope you all enjoy this beautiful Sunday. And it's supposed to get more beautiful. Yay!

Namaste.

September 15th

I'm feeling profound right now. Maybe it's because it's my birthday. Maybe it's because I turn 18 around 11:45 tonight. Maybe it's because of that piece of pizza I just ate. I don't really know.

I'm told I'm an "adult" now. Funny. I don't feel any different. I still feel like the same kid. The same kid that sits around wondering "why?" Always why. Whether it's, "Why did I get sick today?" or "Why am I here?" The same kid that worries about how he can be his best self. Worried about how he can help the world the most.

But it's cool. I think I get it now. Because now I'm allowed to think these thoughts. Because now I'm an "adult." Before now, I was just a dumb kid, right? I'm not supposed to think these things. That's for the aaaadults. They know everything. Yeah, well, now I'm one of the aaaadults.

So watch out.

Don't expect much of a difference. It's funny how the most profound moments of our lives just kind of happen. Maybe it's my own fault. Maybe it's because I'm not paying attention. But my life just seems to fly by. Always flying by.

So, I'll take this moment to capture it. Though I know how silly that really is:

I'm eighteen. I'm a student at Chichester Senior High School, a senior. I'm an American. I'm a brother, a son, and a friend. I'm here. And I'm going to make a difference.

And today's my birthday.

Happy Birthday!! So you’re what now? 16? Haha, just kidding. My baby brother’s all grown up and turned 18. Enjoy the benefits, little buddy, ‘cause your next two birthdays won’t be as special. Well, the last time I saw you, you looked at least decently happy, and your hair has started to look a little more acceptable, thank God. I hope you’re enjoying your senior year more than I did. Make sure you make it count before you enter the real—at least a little more real than high school—world.

- From my bestest brother

Thanks Jon.

Very Cool

The latest studies suggest one form of elephant grass would make a productive "energy crop" to be burnt in power stations to generate electricity.

Scientists told a Dublin conference the 4m-high Miscanthus needs little fertiliser to produce very high yields.

A breeding programme would improve its economics still further, they said.

"There's no reason why in 10 years' time this shouldn't be widely exploited," commented Professor Mike Jones, an Irish expert on plants and climate.

"If we grew Miscanthus on 10% of suitable land in [the 15-member] Europe, then we could generate 9% of the gross electricity production," he told the British Association's Festival of Science.

Genius idea. Thank you responsible science. We need something to replace fossil fuel.

"When I was a kid, we drove 20 miles up hill both ways in the snow."

:)

Note: Don't mind me. Fossil fuels / a need to replace them is my new "thing." So, anytime I find something like this, I just want to share it.

Intertia is a Property of Matter (and Life)

Today in Academic Physic we talked about inertia. And the discussion got me to thinking.

As we all know, "intertia is a property of matter" (thanks Bill Nye!). It's something (scientists don't know what) interlinked with mass that creates a tendency for objects to remain doing what they're doing. Pretty much, they'll keep moving or not, depending on whether or not something happens to them. That's why if I were to - say - eject you out of a spaceship in space, you'd keep moving. Indefinitely. Until you reached some force (whether field or contact).

That's great. Inertia is a property of matter. But the more I thought about it (okay, there's a LOT of time to do this sort of thinking in Physics :) ), the more I realized that intertia is a property of just about everything. More specifically, I was thinking of how it's a property of life, or more specifically, how one lives ones life.

Think about it. How often do people get stuck in ruts? I guess I shouldn't be making generalizations. Let's say, think of how many times I've gotten into ruts. Feel free to apply this to yourself, if you so see fit. It's so common for me to just get into a habit or a pattern of thinking. And that thing just gets stuck. It seems like nothing will move it. Or stop it. Whatever the case may be.

But that's the funny thing. Life, which consists mostly of changes, big or small, requires some sort of inertia-less-ness. A life well lived is a life free to move, or to stop, as appropriate. Therefore, just sitting on your butt, or conversely running around like a mad man, won't get you by 100% of the time.

Life's one big dance with inertia. And the best way get down with this dance partner is to stay light and free. Shake off those nasty thought patterns. Boogie away those habits. Literally, get yourself moving. That PHYSICAL movement will help to fix the MENTAL and SPIRITUAL blocks that you might be feeling.

Or if you're feeling overwhelmed, just sit down. Take a few breaths. Take some time to just sit. Don't think. Don't worry. Be happy. Just by sitting.

Try a mix of these two. Who hasn't just sat in their room, turned up the music, and let it wash away their worries? Or gone out and just walked, for the sake of walking?

And this is just another strike at "effing the ineffable." Another metaphor that you can use to describe the undescribable that is life.

Thanks for getting through this post. I've found more and more that I enjoy writing. And reading. Just for the beauty of the medium. So, hopefully I'll post more often.

I might even post again today. If not, enjoy today. And tomorrow. And that day after tomorrow.

:)

I Don't Have the Words

I feel obligated as a member of the human race to put up a post simply stating that today is September the Eleventh.

And that is all that I think I can / should say. You do not need me to feed you emotions / thoughts / beliefs about a moment in time that we all remember. That is not my place.

May all the victims of this tragedy find peace on this day.

Namaste.

Hiya Folks

Don't have anything much to say. One week down of school, and it feels like I've been there since forever. But then again, I have spent three years of my life there.

I read this discussion of philosophy that called it an amalgam of love and wisdom. I like that idea. It gels with how I feel about it. Wisdom by itself is great and all, but unless mixed with loving action, it's not too cool. If something seems loving but not wise, don't do it. If something seems wise but not loving, don't do it. By this simple tenet, one can base a life.

Football game tonight. Excitement. Yeah, that was sarcasm (we did an exercise in AP English where we did tone, and I was supposed to be sarcastic. Nobody thought I was. :) )

Enjoy your first weekend off. And remember to dance with life.

"And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh."
–Nietzche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra

Free Write!!!

That's right, folks. I'm gonna write whatever happens to come to mind.

First thought. I've ended up "taking" AP English Language and Composition with Ms. Shulman. Now, I know some of you are thinking, 'Why would you subject yourself to something like that.' Subject myself? Dude, I get to have Ms. Shulman for another year. I get to read great works of non-fiction AND fiction. AND I can only do the work that interests me! How is that for a winning combination?!

Second thought. The band is in all sorts of disarray. Just see Kenny's post for more on it. I wonder what the solution is? Yet another Gordian Knot. The last one just kind of unravelled on its own. Maybe this one will too. Hope springs eternal... until the spring gets blown up.

Third thought. I have free time for the first time since Monday. Score! That means time to do what I want to do, like put up this post. Amongst other equally entertaining tidbits. Yay!

I hope everyone is having a great Senior / Junior / Sophomore / Freshman year. I haven't heard how many days it is 'til we graduate yet? Shouldn't someone be keeping a tally? :)

Enjoy this upcoming weekend. I'm sure all marching band members will. Because it's our last one until Competition Season begins. And we all know what that means.

Namaste.

School Daze

First day of Senior Year today. I must say, this year is looking to be a good one. Better than last, at least.

After 3rd period, my day is over. And from that point on, it doesn't even feel like I'm in school. I essentially go off and do my own thing 4th period and 8th period, 5th is Academic Physics (super easy), 6th is AP English (also super easy), and 7th is Gym / Senior Seminar. I am not going to feel like a student at all this year.

Speaking of not feeling like a student, I don't even feel like a Senior. I still very much feel like a Junior. In fact, I feel like this year is somehow just a continuation of last. I know, they're all that way. But this one feels especially so. It's hard to explain.

I hope everyone else is enjoying their return to school. At least, enjoying it as much as one can enjoy a return to school. :)

Namaste, all.

P.S. Thought I'd add this picture just for kicks. It's a lot more recent than my profile one (which is from May of 2005), and it sports my new glasses. Yeah, I know, I'm damn sexy. That's why they call me Sexy Dave Darmon. :)

Me (9/6/2005)
Originally uploaded by David Darmon.

Random

Keychain
Originally uploaded by David Darmon.

So, I was thinking back to the Community Day of last year. And I realized that after Community Day last year, Laura gave me this really cool L.A. Keychain. Don't ask me why this thought came up. I don't know. But I just thought I'd post it and say thanks.

Yeah, I know I'm weird. :)

But it's always fun (for me at least) to set things in terms of previous things. Anyone who knows me well knows I'm crazy with my remembrances of dates and occurences. This being a case in point.

Anyway, continue on with your enjoyance of summer.

Community Day, etc.

Had my last Community Day as a Chi student today.

Did anyone else feel old? I mean, all the kids there were pretty much Juniors. And I just thought, wow, I'm a Senior. I'm ready for Social Security. :)

Speaking of old, apparently the new Spanish teacher is Val Seasons (though Seasons is spelled some really weird way with lots of consonants [suckas that have her as a teacher, though I'm sure she'll just go as Ms. C.]). She was the valedictorian of my sister's class. The class of '01. That places her at 23. But still, that's just crazy. Someone my sister's graduating class is teaching at Chi.

Wow.

And if I haven't made you feel old yet, the universe is now about 15 billion years old or so.

Enjoy your last day off from school for the summer.

And smile.

Memories and Life

Just some random thoughts. I remember reading (hearing?) something a while ago that said whenever we remember something, we are actually creating the memory again, essentially from scratch. As in, you're not actually remembering what happened, you're remembering what you think happened. You're reinterpreting it from your current stage of cognitive development.

That's why "eye witness" accounts are so iffy. Because one could easily rework the witness to think something happened that didn't.

Anyway, that wasn't the point of the post. The point of the post is to state the mutability of the human psyche. Yes, there were certain, empirical things that happened in the past. But a whole lot of the human experience is in how you, personally, interpret the past. And you can't truly interpret the past empirically.

So, if you can't trust how you remember the past, and the future hasn't happened yet, what is a poor schmuck to do? If the past is dead, and the future not yet born, what is there?

And then you hear echoing off in the distance...

Live in the Present

I'm Not Alone

Check out Kenny's blog to see more info on our Marching Band and it's... deficiencies. Good to know I'm not alone in my agitation.

Marching Band, Anger and Guitar

I don't really have anything interesting to report. But I just felt like it's been too long since I've posted, so I have to put something up.

I was going to put up an angry post about marching band. But the anger's kinda vanished. But I suppose I'll elucidate on my previous angry state. Today in marching band, we didn't get as far as we "needed to." I don't know what "needed to" means, but I suppose someone does. Anyway, I personally thought we didn't get far enough just because we didn't. No one really to blame. It's just what happened.

But instead, the blame was placed on "us." We were apparently talking too much. Well, I'm with the brass, and we tend to behave. So from where I was standing, there wasn't all this "excessive talking" going on. But I realize there is a lot of room for error here.

Anyway, I just don't like random blaming of things, as you could see with my post about Katrina. Same thing here. I don't see why someone had to be blamed for us not getting something done. It's just what happened. And mad yelling won't make it better.

Heh, well, I guess there was still a teeny-tiny bit of pent up anger there. :)

On a completely different note, man does playing guitar hurt your fingers. Like, seriously. I need to build up some callouses so that it doesn't hurt as much. Not like I'm a guitar playing fiend or anything. I can just barely play the intros to two Stuart Davis songs. But I'm working on it. And it's fun. I think I like non-wind instruments more than the t-bone. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love the t-bone. But you can't just whip it out and start jamming on a toon. Doesn't work that way.

And somehow I managed to throw something half decent together. How about that!

Well, come see the Chichester Marching Band tomorrow at the football game. It's at Chi High (I don't know the time)!

Peace.